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[MaximumZero]

-snip-

I hate to meme myself even one more time, but my only thought on the best gift to give this girl is for you to put on some padded gloves. You don't deserve shit like that, and you shouldn't have to put up with it.

[Bauglir]

Given that I'm told Braid is excellent in itself, and you put in a great deal of thought and effort to choose it (from what you've said), the gift's quality is absurdly high. Its cost in dollars may not be, but if she decides to get passive-aggressive because of that... well, all I can figure in that case is that she's looking for reasons. Which doesn't sound that implausible, given the rest of your post, unfortunately. "You need new friends" is the same sort of advice as "You need to stop drowning" but hell if I have anything more specific in mind >_<

[MaximumZero]

Given that I'm told Braid is excellent in itself, and you put in a great deal of thought and effort to choose it (from what you've said), the gift's quality is absurdly high. Its cost in dollars may not be, but if she decides to get passive-aggressive because of that... well, all I can figure in that case is that she's looking for reasons. Which doesn't sound that implausible, given the rest of your post, unfortunately. "You need new friends" is the same sort of advice as "You need to stop drowning" but hell if I have anything more specific in mind >_<

more specific

Vector needs to punch this girl in the face and stop giving her presents.

[Bauglir]

Unless there is an audience of people who will applaud the violence, this will not actually result in new friends, just fewer old ones. Also, I'd wager it's not an acceptable course on its own merits, but then, that's up to Vector.

[MaximumZero]

I applaud your rationality and wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

[Vector]

She sounds young. :|

She's 21.  On the other hand, I'm also 21.

*shrog*

Thanks for the support, bros.

[Lysabild]

She sounds young. :|

She's 21.  On the other hand, I'm also 21.

*shrog*

Thanks for the support, bros.

What do you want? Aren't you really just seeking from her something you can't have? Hoping for people to change through your kindness is in most cases wasted energy.

Instead of appeasing her and bothering with what SHE thinks, then appease yourself. You've bought her a wonderful gift, and if it doesn't make her happy then that is her problem. You shouldn't waste your valuable energy.

A person can only do so much in a day, and only achieve so much, and what you describe is like throwing food into the toilet because you want to feed the rats who might be down there.

However, all you achieve is clogging your own toilet.


So yeah, what exactly do you want here?

If I'm not making sense feel free to ignore me, used to that anyway. >_>

[Vector]

It'll be a lot easier for me to let go if our last memories were happy ones (I already helped her let go from our entanglement, so now I'm helping myself; we have a much more complicated relationship than what I talked about.  Those are just the three things that still make me angry, and the first part makes me angry mostly because I just figured it out and it makes it harder to get presents for her).  She got me a gift (we didn't exchange last year), so I'm getting her something.

I was going to get her a copy of Princess Knight by Tezuka, but then I remembered that she hates his artstyle due to the lack of bishounen and that she might not be that into the particular tropes in the work anymore.  She also doesn't read manga anymore, let alone manga in English... notice is too short to get her some sort of good Korean learning tool... I can't give her music or something because her tastes have changed too much and she was never willing to try most of the stuff I listen to... hell, since she barely reads anymore, I can't even get her some Faulkner or John Irving, much as she theoretically loves those two authors.

I don't even know if she'll like Braid, because she seems to only like language puzzles at this point in her life.  The only manga I know of her liking anymore she seems to have a soft point for nowadays only because she thinks the main character looks like her boyfriend.  Otherwise, I think she would have moved on.

I realize that I'm also hard to get gifts for due to my tendency to hate mediocre literature (on the other hand, a good book costs about the same as a bad one new), but my taste in genre has been pretty stable my entire life, and has largely expanded rather than retracting or moving elsewhere.  I like detective novels and short stories, I like Peruvian flute music, bluegrass, and Chinese Opera, I like stories about priests, I love po-mo, symbolism, recursion, and surrealism, I like poetry with word games, I like most of the popular computer games with both a start and an end and a little thinking in the middle (life is my sandbox game), and hell, worse comes to worst, I collect soap and have a bit of a thing for small fuzzy animals.

My list of favorite authors, books, and so on is also on Facebook so that people can easily access it and get a rough idea of what sorts of things I like, which books I recommend, whatever.  There's plenty of surprises left over.  It's not like it's an exhaustive list.

The thing is, she's not very self-aware, and she's... I don't want to say stupid, but a lot less intelligent than it seemed like she'd be when we first met each other.  All the same, she brands herself as a genius.  Therefore, it's very hard to have a relationship at this point, but there's kind of been too much tying each other together all these years to just let go.

[Lysabild]

You've written the same post twice, albeit different details, is she really worth it? And why? How does she contribute to your happiness?

[Akura]

Jerkass boss makes a rule that now, due to one incident of one person grabbing a bunch of coats and hats that were supposed to go to everyone when no one was looking, now coats and hats can only be handed out to people by an "evangelist", so they can also shove Jesus down their throats.

Also was listening to a public radio station the warehouse manager had on, hosted by a woman how has sounded like the number of strokes she's had in her lifetime was a two-digit number. She had on a guest that was saying that ground troops were irrelavant, and that special forces and precision airstrikes are the only way to fight wars, including a possible future war with China. Considering everything I know about strategic doctrine fully disagrees with with that sentence, my skull might be fractured from the facepalm. Then a coworker says that the best strategy would be to nuke a city or two to force them to surrender, since it worked for Japan, and he said this regarding the war on terror, not China. Now I know my skull is fractured from facepalm damage.

If it was legal, I'd enter into some sort of common law marriage with this case. Screwless access (nyuk nyuk nyuk), slide out drive bays, built like a tank.

Sounds like my case. Doesn't look like mine, though. And mine, unfortunately, has little room to spare.

[nenjin]

She's 21.  On the other hand, I'm also 21.

Young is as much as state of emotional development as it is your numeric age. If it's any consolation, you're not "young" to me.

edit - Yeah, that three letter would definitely changes the meaning of the sentence.

[kaijyuu]

Age is pretty much irrelevant to maturity. Just because one has more opportunity to gain life experience and wisdom, doesn't mean they actually have, and vice versa.

Moderate correlation at best.

[nenjin]

It was the ripping on other people bit that made her sound like a young 'un. Once you've been a few places in your life and walked a few miles in other people's shoes, you keep that shit to yourself. Because you know that it's only by the grace of god that you're not the thing you make fun of.

It's sort of ironic that handing out food at the Community Food Bank for several summers is what taught me that, in light of Akura's saga.

[Vector]

You've written the same post twice, albeit different details, is she really worth it? And why? How does she contribute to your happiness?

She's the first friend I ever made.  We have history.  We edited each other's novels for years, were in love with each other (though I couldn't admit it), went to the same elementary and middle schools, almost went to the same college.  We'd stay up until 4 talking together night after night about so many things.  She was the first person who made me really feel like I was worth anything; I helped her with years of depression, and she helped me with mine.

In effect, we saved each other's lives.

You don't choose who you love, and I didn't choose to get attached to someone who drives me so extremely bonkers.  This isn't something where I can just compute pros and cons and toss off my friend because I feel like it right now.

[Pnx]

I'm... kind of impressed.

You're doing well, despite the rough road you had along the way. Meanwhile I get the feeling I'm never going to leave this house alive.

But you can't get bogged down in the issues of other people. If you don't want to get involved, you don't have to...

I'm not precisely sure what sage advice I'm trying to give here.