I already suggested a painter's drop cloth as a temporary solution. He was cool with it. Then the boss's wheels started turning and he said "Or maybe we could make this a closet. With a waist high wall so both sides could reach into it....." It originally was supposed to be a closet for that room at some point, I guess. Before it became a part of our hallway. Now it's a closet for two rooms! Oi.
I think I've basically purged most of the rage I have over this. Although it comes creeping back up on me when I'm sitting at my desk and realize I can hear my coworkers breathing. At this point in my life I've worked in a few offices. For the State. For the University. For a call center or two. And I can safely say this is the most cramped, awkward work space I've ever had. Which, you know, #firstworldproblems, but damn, I'll spend a good chunk of my life sitting there. It'd be nice if I didn't hate it. I know my coworkers pretty well at this point, we're on good terms. But I don't want to know them that well.
I may end up suggesting cube walls between our desks. I'm not such an introvert I'll go batshit crazy if I have to see people out of the corner of my eye. But the reality is two or three people talking on the phone 2.5 feet from each other all day, in a small room that's got great acoustics because they insulated the shit out of the floor above, is going to suck for all of us.
Also the walls are a very lurid shade of lime green. It's so green when the sunlight hits it, people's faces turn green. We're calling it the Shrek Effect. When I liked the office I was in, the color was starting to grow on me. Now, since I'm looking for reasons to be butt hurt, it's terrible again. Probably because it's so bright and cheery in direct counterpart to my mood.