Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Thecard]

Make new sigs, but keep the old;
Those are silver, these are gold.
New-made sigships, like new wine,
Age will mellow and refine.
Sigss that have stood the test-
Time and change-are surely best;
Brow may wrinkle, hair grow gray;
sigs never knows decay.
For 'mid old sigs, tried and true,
Once more we our youth renew.
But old sigs, alas! may die;
New sigs must their place supply.
Cherish sigs in your breast-
New is good, but old is best;
Make new sigs, but keep the old;
Those are silver, these are gold.

Like this, which is sigged.

Does that make me part of the problem now?

[Descan]

Or, a rotating sig-text image of screen-captures of the quotes you enjoyed, displaying them easily (for the viewer) and with variety.

Possibly allowing a sig-text thread for the more... long quotes.

Spoiler:  rant continuation. (click to show/hide)

... I'm stupid.
It's what I've learned. At least it's the message I've gotten from people.

... It's snapping.
It's what I know. From myself.

People break. People destroy. It's what I've seen.


I need to explain this. You see, I'm what people call a "prodigy". But, it just makes me feel I'm cursed. Since ever, I've been bullied, treated badly and brought down. But now... Now it's worse. People don't see me as a human being anymore. My parents either see me as the pinnacle of what man's mind can reach when they're talking about my grades and how I'm not doing any effort, and as the stupidest thing in existence when talking about clothes or me doing chores. My "friends" see me as a dumb irresponsible annoying shame of a human being who has anger problems and is really funny to get annoyed. Some of my classmates think of me as an A+ nerd who obsesses over every single grade, and others as an irresponsible slack-off and waste of space. Some see me as someone to insult, others as someone who isn't worth it.

As I said before, I'm not perfect; but my parents think I am.
See, I'm gifted at math, language, science, computer, logical thinking, and if I pick something up with interest I'll produce something awesome. My bad is my decoration skills, social skills, and the big one: responsibility and organization. This year, I decided to fix those last two, promising to myself to get better. Shame I chose the year we had 5 multiple big projects in the same three weeks and still had homework. And now my mom wants me to get 97+ in all classes or I will be busted. What's worse, I'm bad at learning at school. See, if you try to teach me something (or as I call it, force it into my mind)it won't work. However, if I'm enjoying myself or doing it of my own volition, I will never forget it. That's the reason I can explain quantum physics and space-time simultaneously, but get a dead-end on a simple math problem.

I know they don't respect me. I once built a monument out of stones. It didn't last a day.

And now it's getting worse. You see, I'm not a normal rager. Many people get angry, and rage, but I hold it to myself, and accumulate it. You can guess how this is gonna end. Over the years, I've held anger. From my favorite insect (he was like the closest pet I've had) being killed in front of me just to annoy me. From being insulted for holding my friend's hand. From having people pay a kid to get me out of the table (the violent way). And I burst. Let's just say they call that day " The Spanish Class Massacre". There where no deaths, of course, but there where pencil wounds and mental scarring. But it's begun building up again. I'm trying to get it under control. And all of the above started happening. My friends suddenly became very bad. They started poking. And then when they saw what happened, they grabbed picks. And started chiseling away. They're breaking walls. Walls I've built to stop this. Smashing apart my defenses. Making life harder. Outcasting me. Hurting me. Insulting me. Laughing at my short bursts of semi-controlled rage. But that's because they think it's uncontrolled. It isn't. When they broke the monument, I grabbed a small rock, and threw it at one that took three people to lift. And broke the big one with the small stone. I wasn't really that mad. Now they feared me, or so I thought. Within a few days it was laughing matter. I get worse. They're breaking me. It's coming. It's snapping. And I know it. And I am waiting for it.


Next part coming soon...
MHKMS.

also are you me

don't be me, me is terrible. be future me, he's awesome.

i am proto-future me, in case you were wondering.

[Descan]

double double boil and ohgodwhy

[lue]

Make new sigs, but keep the old;
Those are silver, these are gold.
New-made sigships, like new wine,
Age will mellow and refine.
Sigss that have stood the test-
Time and change-are surely best;
Brow may wrinkle, hair grow gray;
sigs never knows decay.
For 'mid old sigs, tried and true,
Once more we our youth renew.
But old sigs, alas! may die;
New sigs must their place supply.
Cherish sigs in your breast-
New is good, but old is best;
Make new sigs, but keep the old;
Those are silver, these are gold.

Like this, which is sigged.

Does that make me part of the problem now?

I thus must sig as well.

Spoiler:  rant continuation. (click to show/hide)

... I'm stupid.
It's what I've learned. At least it's the message I've gotten from people.

... It's snapping.
It's what I know. From myself.

People break. People destroy. It's what I've seen.


I need to explain this. You see, I'm what people call a "prodigy". But, it just makes me feel I'm cursed. Since ever, I've been bullied, treated badly and brought down. But now... Now it's worse. People don't see me as a human being anymore. My parents either see me as the pinnacle of what man's mind can reach when they're talking about my grades and how I'm not doing any effort, and as the stupidest thing in existence when talking about clothes or me doing chores. My "friends" see me as a dumb irresponsible annoying shame of a human being who has anger problems and is really funny to get annoyed. Some of my classmates think of me as an A+ nerd who obsesses over every single grade, and others as an irresponsible slack-off and waste of space. Some see me as someone to insult, others as someone who isn't worth it.

As I said before, I'm not perfect; but my parents think I am.
See, I'm gifted at math, language, science, computer, logical thinking, and if I pick something up with interest I'll produce something awesome. My bad is my decoration skills, social skills, and the big one: responsibility and organization. This year, I decided to fix those last two, promising to myself to get better. Shame I chose the year we had 5 multiple big projects in the same three weeks and still had homework. And now my mom wants me to get 97+ in all classes or I will be busted. What's worse, I'm bad at learning at school. See, if you try to teach me something (or as I call it, force it into my mind)it won't work. However, if I'm enjoying myself or doing it of my own volition, I will never forget it. That's the reason I can explain quantum physics and space-time simultaneously, but get a dead-end on a simple math problem.

I know they don't respect me. I once built a monument out of stones. It didn't last a day.

And now it's getting worse. You see, I'm not a normal rager. Many people get angry, and rage, but I hold it to myself, and accumulate it. You can guess how this is gonna end. Over the years, I've held anger. From my favorite insect (he was like the closest pet I've had) being killed in front of me just to annoy me. From being insulted for holding my friend's hand. From having people pay a kid to get me out of the table (the violent way). And I burst. Let's just say they call that day " The Spanish Class Massacre". There where no deaths, of course, but there where pencil wounds and mental scarring. But it's begun building up again. I'm trying to get it under control. And all of the above started happening. My friends suddenly became very bad. They started poking. And then when they saw what happened, they grabbed picks. And started chiseling away. They're breaking walls. Walls I've built to stop this. Smashing apart my defenses. Making life harder. Outcasting me. Hurting me. Insulting me. Laughing at my short bursts of semi-controlled rage. But that's because they think it's uncontrolled. It isn't. When they broke the monument, I grabbed a small rock, and threw it at one that took three people to lift. And broke the big one with the small stone. I wasn't really that mad. Now they feared me, or so I thought. Within a few days it was laughing matter. I get worse. They're breaking me. It's coming. It's snapping. And I know it. And I am waiting for it.


Next part coming soon...
MHKMS.

You... You should see someone. A guidance counselor, or a teacher, or the principal. Write to Dr. Phil if you've got nowhere to turn even. I don't know about anyone else who reads that, but I personally am worried for the direction you're headed in. I hope you realize that someday you will get out of it, that it will get better.

[Xantalos]

Spoiler:  rant continuation. (click to show/hide)

... I'm stupid.
It's what I've learned. At least it's the message I've gotten from people.

... It's snapping.
It's what I know. From myself.

People break. People destroy. It's what I've seen.


I need to explain this. You see, I'm what people call a "prodigy". But, it just makes me feel I'm cursed. Since ever, I've been bullied, treated badly and brought down. But now... Now it's worse. People don't see me as a human being anymore. My parents either see me as the pinnacle of what man's mind can reach when they're talking about my grades and how I'm not doing any effort, and as the stupidest thing in existence when talking about clothes or me doing chores. My "friends" see me as a dumb irresponsible annoying shame of a human being who has anger problems and is really funny to get annoyed. Some of my classmates think of me as an A+ nerd who obsesses over every single grade, and others as an irresponsible slack-off and waste of space. Some see me as someone to insult, others as someone who isn't worth it.

As I said before, I'm not perfect; but my parents think I am.
See, I'm gifted at math, language, science, computer, logical thinking, and if I pick something up with interest I'll produce something awesome. My bad is my decoration skills, social skills, and the big one: responsibility and organization. This year, I decided to fix those last two, promising to myself to get better. Shame I chose the year we had 5 multiple big projects in the same three weeks and still had homework. And now my mom wants me to get 97+ in all classes or I will be busted. What's worse, I'm bad at learning at school. See, if you try to teach me something (or as I call it, force it into my mind)it won't work. However, if I'm enjoying myself or doing it of my own volition, I will never forget it. That's the reason I can explain quantum physics and space-time simultaneously, but get a dead-end on a simple math problem.

I know they don't respect me. I once built a monument out of stones. It didn't last a day.

And now it's getting worse. You see, I'm not a normal rager. Many people get angry, and rage, but I hold it to myself, and accumulate it. You can guess how this is gonna end. Over the years, I've held anger. From my favorite insect (he was like the closest pet I've had) being killed in front of me just to annoy me. From being insulted for holding my friend's hand. From having people pay a kid to get me out of the table (the violent way). And I burst. Let's just say they call that day " The Spanish Class Massacre". There where no deaths, of course, but there where pencil wounds and mental scarring. But it's begun building up again. I'm trying to get it under control. And all of the above started happening. My friends suddenly became very bad. They started poking. And then when they saw what happened, they grabbed picks. And started chiseling away. They're breaking walls. Walls I've built to stop this. Smashing apart my defenses. Making life harder. Outcasting me. Hurting me. Insulting me. Laughing at my short bursts of semi-controlled rage. But that's because they think it's uncontrolled. It isn't. When they broke the monument, I grabbed a small rock, and threw it at one that took three people to lift. And broke the big one with the small stone. I wasn't really that mad. Now they feared me, or so I thought. Within a few days it was laughing matter. I get worse. They're breaking me. It's coming. It's snapping. And I know it. And I am waiting for it.


Next part coming soon...
MHKMS.

Huh. Sounds like me a few years ago.
You should probably get counseling or something.
Or not. Dunno.

[Thecard]

Spoiler:  rant continuation. (click to show/hide)

... I'm stupid.
It's what I've learned. At least it's the message I've gotten from people.

... It's snapping.
It's what I know. From myself.

People break. People destroy. It's what I've seen.


I need to explain this. You see, I'm what people call a "prodigy". But, it just makes me feel I'm cursed. Since ever, I've been bullied, treated badly and brought down. But now... Now it's worse. People don't see me as a human being anymore. My parents either see me as the pinnacle of what man's mind can reach when they're talking about my grades and how I'm not doing any effort, and as the stupidest thing in existence when talking about clothes or me doing chores. My "friends" see me as a dumb irresponsible annoying shame of a human being who has anger problems and is really funny to get annoyed. Some of my classmates think of me as an A+ nerd who obsesses over every single grade, and others as an irresponsible slack-off and waste of space. Some see me as someone to insult, others as someone who isn't worth it.

As I said before, I'm not perfect; but my parents think I am.
See, I'm gifted at math, language, science, computer, logical thinking, and if I pick something up with interest I'll produce something awesome. My bad is my decoration skills, social skills, and the big one: responsibility and organization. This year, I decided to fix those last two, promising to myself to get better. Shame I chose the year we had 5 multiple big projects in the same three weeks and still had homework. And now my mom wants me to get 97+ in all classes or I will be busted. What's worse, I'm bad at learning at school. See, if you try to teach me something (or as I call it, force it into my mind)it won't work. However, if I'm enjoying myself or doing it of my own volition, I will never forget it. That's the reason I can explain quantum physics and space-time simultaneously, but get a dead-end on a simple math problem.

I know they don't respect me. I once built a monument out of stones. It didn't last a day.

And now it's getting worse. You see, I'm not a normal rager. Many people get angry, and rage, but I hold it to myself, and accumulate it. You can guess how this is gonna end. Over the years, I've held anger. From my favorite insect (he was like the closest pet I've had) being killed in front of me just to annoy me. From being insulted for holding my friend's hand. From having people pay a kid to get me out of the table (the violent way). And I burst. Let's just say they call that day " The Spanish Class Massacre". There where no deaths, of course, but there where pencil wounds and mental scarring. But it's begun building up again. I'm trying to get it under control. And all of the above started happening. My friends suddenly became very bad. They started poking. And then when they saw what happened, they grabbed picks. And started chiseling away. They're breaking walls. Walls I've built to stop this. Smashing apart my defenses. Making life harder. Outcasting me. Hurting me. Insulting me. Laughing at my short bursts of semi-controlled rage. But that's because they think it's uncontrolled. It isn't. When they broke the monument, I grabbed a small rock, and threw it at one that took three people to lift. And broke the big one with the small stone. I wasn't really that mad. Now they feared me, or so I thought. Within a few days it was laughing matter. I get worse. They're breaking me. It's coming. It's snapping. And I know it. And I am waiting for it.


Next part coming soon...
MHKMS.

Huh. Sounds like me a few years ago.
You should probably get counseling or something.
Or not. Dunno.

Sounds like me in a few years.
I'd suggest counseling. It helps me. Because yeah, you're not the only one. Many people need counseling, really. Most people, when you think about it. Hell, everybody 'oughta have a shrink.

[kisame12794]

Cmega, I know the rage. I been bullied and I've struck out a few times. Eventually I just stopped giving a shit. I know that everyone is different, and that you may not be able to just ignore it, but I did, and I hate it. I hate not giving a shit about anything. I've gotten so good at suppressing emotion that the death of a close family member did nothing. No sadness, no grief, just nothing. Same for praise, rage, happy. If I do feel something, it doesn't last. Don't be me. Go find a friend, a teacher, someone who cares, and talk. You are not just someone who has perfect grades, or someone who sucks at organization. You are you, and not a damn thing can change it. No one human is perfect. If they were, they wouldn't be human. Be human. Be fallible, be clever, be awesome. If you have trouble, tell someone. I know this may not make you feel better, but it's true. No matter what anybody says, trust yourself to be yourself. You don't have to answer to anybody about that. If they don't like you, tell them to deal with it. Sorry bout the rant.

[alway]

That rant sounds about like anyone with an IQ of above 100 growing up in religious fundamentalist rural Murica.

Spoiler alert: the moral of the story is to go to university and GTFO of there. Then come back to visit for a day or two, just to witness karmic justice firsthand when they greet you as you enter the local Walmart and McDonalds. Because, really, there is nothing you could possibly do to them which would be worse than the lifetime of crippling poverty and working a job they hate~
... Then scurry back to your urban yuppie-hole with the horrifying knowledge that that could have been you if you wasted time on them instead of doing interesting things.

Heh, my mother was somewhere on the fence between 'vidja games are a waste of time' and 'vidja games are a corrupting force of evil.' I specifically recall not being allowed to buy Black & White since you play as a god. Not that it helped, as I ended up an atheist anyway.

Also, conversations with yourself is not only normal, but from what I recall has actually been shown to help prevent dementia. Also, if you're only getting 1 level of meta-think conversations going in your head, consider yourself lucky. When I get anxiety-driven insomnia, in a state of sleepy-but-with-overactive-brain, I can go up to a good half dozen levels of telling my brain to STFU, hehehe.

So yeah, it's largely not you, it's them. Therapy might be good, but I also doubt it would be easy for you to get access to; so take it if you can... but if not, just keep in mind the fate of all the highschool busy-bodies and idiots. There is no revenge more effective than smug aloofness as the years tick by and they slowly realize with growing existential horror just what they have made their lives into.

[FearfulJesuit]

And do try to major in something marketable, if you can. (My choice was Russian, and Classical Languages for my dream teaching job). Sociology or, lord help you, Gender Studies will send you back right where you started, but with everyone holding a grudge against you for learning left-wing drivel. (They will be right, but for the wrong reasons). Languages are the most marketable humanities degrees, these days. (To be fair, what employers want isn't the degree, but proficiency. But if you work hard, you'll get that proficiency. Don't neglect outside study like Skyping natives). Maybe I'm shilling too hard for my own area of study, you might want to ask other people too... Make sure you find a major freshman year. You don't just want to graduate, you want to do it in four years, unless you're double-majoring. If you can, study for some AP tests on your own and get credit for them. Clearing your gen eds out makes everything easier.

If you have tried coding and do it well, that's good- do computer science or something else while learning to code in the evenings, and write a few nice big projects for your resume. From what I've heard the job market for other STEM fields ('cept for engineers) isn't as good as it's made out to be, but it's not too bad, and in any case the job market just out of college in America is crap, has always been crap, and will probably always be crap, but is even crappier now because of the recession.

But- get into your state's flagship university (or another's) and work your ass off.

[lue]

First off, if you want more discussion on you, the Life Advice board one below this one (General Discussion) is a particularly apt place. I know it helped me feel better when I was in a horrendous slump about a month ago (writing there was always a relieving moment of the day during that time).

Second, I've done the same sort of worry about if my problems aren't things I shouldn't be worried about, if I really should just suck it up and move on. I think one thing you should remember is that if it is hurting you, it's a real problem. It might not be as objectively terrible as not having access to clean water, sure, but it doesn't mean your feelings are invalid (you should use the fact that calling them "first world problems" hasn't helped you as proof of this). It's healthy to be critical of your problems (instead of just relishing having them, being able to play the victim), but don't try to invalidate them.

For what it's worth, I've thought about past me and future me a lot as well. In fact, during Season 32 of Doctor Who I could swear that future me must've been helping the scriptwriters steal my ideas, although that's likely something totally different .

And, considering the writing of your rants, may I suggest creative writing? You seem incredibly prone to creating good metaphors for your state of mind at least . And no, your stories don't have to be apocalyptic because that's how you feel. Write about the most cheesy, unrealistic, idealized life you could possibly want to have. The saga of Earth's inhabitants preparing for the next pole reversal. The tale of the CIA/MI6/whatever agent somehow tasked with assassinating the governor of Nebrahoma.

My point is, I have a fleeting suspicion writing of some form would suit you.

Wish you the best, Cmega3.

[alway]

Oh, and if it's Lovecraft you want: http://gutenberg.net.au/ebooks06/0600031h.html
A glorious 2.9 million characters of Lovecraft.

[Tobel]

Comcast. Comcast comcast comcast.

Fucking comcast.

http://www.reddit.com/r/technology/comments/1osy30/comcast_to_begin_capping_internet_usage_in/

Comcast.

[FearfulJesuit]

Gutenberg is a lifesaver. Doesn't mean I don't buy too many books...just that I buy fewer than I used to.

[Bauglir]

Comcast. Comcast comcast comcast.

Fucking comcast.

http://www.reddit.com/r/technology/comments/1osy30/comcast_to_begin_capping_internet_usage_in/

Comcast.

Mediacom started this shit recently, as well. I've been forced to give in. I haven't the money to change providers lately, and it's been so long that by now, no message will be sent.

[lue]

Comcast. Comcast comcast comcast.

Fucking comcast.

http://www.reddit.com/r/technology/comments/1osy30/comcast_to_begin_capping_internet_usage_in/

Comcast.

Mediacom started this shit recently, as well. I've been forced to give in. I haven't the money to change providers lately, and it's been so long that by now, no message will be sent.

Where's the kickstarter for the people's ISP when you need one?