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[IronTomato]

No, it's really not. The way to get back at him is to retaliate, whether you like it or not.

I didn't mean saying those exact words was a good idea, just using that technique.

Also, I can't retaliate because parents. Also, If you saw my arms, you'd see my second reason for not wanting to try that.

[Vector]

*sigh*

You're both 14, right?  I'd suggest starting to take runs every morning, maybe lifting a little if your parents have some handweights or something.  Just a little bit.  And invite him to do more stuff with you (mutually pleasant activities like watching movies).  Find out what happens.

[MaximumZero]

Meh. Despite my nature, fighting's really not the answer anyway. I was mostly being a smartass about the knee thing. Really, if you can, try to get involved in some of his activities. Be the brother that tries to cooperate, and make sure your parents see that.

[Neonivek]

Meh. Despite my nature, fighting's really not the answer anyway. I was mostly being a smartass about the knee thing. Really, if you can, try to get involved in some of his activities. Be the brother that tries to cooperate, and make sure your parents see that.

Won't work.

In fact he will get worse.

[Tiruin]

Goodness.

Could I ask to stop giving suggestions to repay with due force or ignore? That won't solve the problem there but only make it worse. :/ As well as labeling one side or the other and declaiming that it'd get worse if we try a better, calmer route.

Human psychology. A hostile ground is only a breeding place for battle.

[MaximumZero]

Meh. Despite my nature, fighting's really not the answer anyway. I was mostly being a smartass about the knee thing. Really, if you can, try to get involved in some of his activities. Be the brother that tries to cooperate, and make sure your parents see that.

Won't work.

In fact he will get worse.

That wasn't the case with my brother, man. Each person is different. You can't rule out any possibility.

[kisame12794]

I've found personally that ignoring assholes sometimes works, and sometimes doesn't. Sometimes people only respect shows of force, some respect conversation, and others still respect patience. Sometimes the only way to deal with people is to not deal with them at all. For me, school was eight years of hell. Due to indifference and inaction from teachers, I just stopped telling them. I just took it. Those eight years taught me how to not give a single fuck about assholes. But with school, I could always go home and be done with it. My advice? Laugh. Laugh at him. Laugh with him. It might throw him off, or it may egg him on, but trying anything is better than just taking the abuse.

[Neonivek]

when you put the effort in to care?

I already offered my solution and most of these suggestions are doomed to fail for one particular reason.

The major underlying problem which is WHY is he doing it.

Which Hmmm... he is 14, can't leave you alone, passively aggressively (and actively) annoys you yet doesn't have the state of mind to recognize it.

Though that is as much of a hint as I am really willing to give. Too much info will pretty much destroy everything.

[Vector]

when you put the effort in to care?

I already offered my solution and most of these suggestions are doomed to fail for one particular reason.

The major underlying problem which is WHY is he doing it.

You don't know why he's doing it, though, because surprisingly enough people are pretty complex.

[Neonivek]

Break down everything he said, break down his exact actions, break down the age, break down the power ratios.

Add in how Irontomatoe acts and his personality.

The issue I am seeing is that there is no "The solution" but rather the best compromise you can make with the IT guy.

I will say that retribution won't work because that is part of the problem. I will also say that interacting with him more won't stop him from annoying you.

As well Vector, I am just offering my point of view. Disagree all you wish

Though I will state my position

It is my position that your brother doesn't know how to handle his feelings and probably feels bad for... reasons...

[Neonivek]

Why would you bare that edge if, in your infinite pessimistic wisdom, such information would be dangerous?

Well truth be known that is why I don't go deeper. Psychological insight into people actually seems to have more negative concequences mostly because people don't know how to translate that knowledge, if they have it accurately, into solutions.

It is far better to have wisdom in this case. Possible solutions.

What is your intent at this point?

For him to look at everything everyone has said. Chose the one he thinks is best or a combination. Think about it. Adapt it. Then apply it... And if it doesn't work to try something else.

--

I will concede that I am just making things worse.

[Neonivek]

Why are you going in for the kill?

yet you tell us that you have it in your "wisdom".

No... I really don't, that isn't what I meant.

Not sure if I should defend myself because those are serious accusations, and not petty ones, being thrown my way... Or if I should leave it alone because it will just blow over and an argument here will make things worse. Not sure I have peace of mind enough to drop this, but I'll try and see how long I can get.

[Descan]

This whole thing is really weird.

[MadMalkavian]

This whole thing is really weird.

Yeah I'm kind of bothered by this tangent too. It makes me feel kind of weird since similar things happened between me and my younger brother. However he never got in trouble and I was scolded constantly just for trying to defend myself from his bullying and his beatings.

Thankfully though he grew out of it. That's one thing that sometimes works, waiting for the aggressor to grow up and mature. Time heals at least some wounds as well as after having not spoken to him for a good five years in 2009 I wanted to reconcile with him.

Just a few weeks ago we did reconcile and are now on speaking terms again. He even likes some of the same video games I like now so we have stuff to talk about for once.

Just keep in mind kiddo that possibility, that maybe perhaps over time your brother will grow up, mature and stop acting like a total jerk. Also I'm sorry about the arms. From what you've said it seems like you have to live with that and it must be hard sometimes. Have a good evening IronTomato.

[SalmonGod]

I've found personally that ignoring assholes sometimes works, and sometimes doesn't. Sometimes people only respect shows of force, some respect conversation, and others still respect patience. Sometimes the only way to deal with people is to not deal with them at all. For me, school was eight years of hell. Due to indifference and inaction from teachers, I just stopped telling them. I just took it. Those eight years taught me how to not give a single fuck about assholes. But with school, I could always go home and be done with it. My advice? Laugh. Laugh at him. Laugh with him. It might throw him off, or it may egg him on, but trying anything is better than just taking the abuse.

I think this is the best advice so far.  There is no one most likely answer.  It depends on what kind of person your brother is.  What kind of behavior he respects from a person and what his motivation is.  If you can simultaneously earn his respect while getting the message across that he is pushing you too far, then he will stop.  But some people only respect strong displays of dominance, while others offer respect to those who show they care.  Or if he is someone very attention seeking or who simply enjoys playing games with people, then earning his respect will not work and your only hope is to avoid reinforcing his behavior with a reaction.  It's really all on your ability to work with the situation based on how well you understand him.