Freaking customer. This guy has been wrong about 50 to 60% of the time he calls us. Wrong about what's wrong, wrong in how he's doing things, just wrong. And while nice, he's Southern Nice. I.e. he sounds conversational but what he's doing is very nicely telling you this is your fault and waiting for you to go "Yes sir!"
Well, fuck that. The problem he called in with yesterday is the exact same problem he's called in with before. Rather than listening to the things we've said to him, about how to do his job, how to use the program.....nah, instead he'd rather mash the wrong key, ignore me when I tell him he's doing it wrong, blame us for 3rd party integration issues that no other customers have taken issue with.....
I mean, I like helping people. I want to help people. But all our advice and effort (we wrote an entire fucking wiki article for this guy to help him do his job. Has he fucking read it? NO!) falls on deaf ears, and then he comes back with "I'm paying for this software......"
Yes. You are. Unfortunately, your payment does not absolve you from fucking listening to the people you ask for help. It doesn't magically mean what you want happens. It doesn't mean I'm going to do your goddamn job for you, or that I'm going to waste inordinate amounts of time helping you on the same problems you still, time and again, refuse to listen to the solutions for. I hate losing customers. But I hate having bad customers even more. In truth what he's paying for is updates and technical support. And if he's just going to waste our time and his, he might as well just stop paying his support fee.