Your bus world is alien to me. I'm still having trouble visualizing this situation, especially since you seem to be portraying yourself as something /other/ than an ass who slows down efficient loading and unloading.
What this sounds like (to me):
1. I stop in front of the doors.
2. I stare at the people closest to me for an awkwardly long time.
3. I WASTE YOU TIME MWA
Sometimes you'll have someone slip through the lineish and board first to get a seat in back without pushing past everyone in the aisle, but I've never seen them push, they really just sort of walk towards the bus instead of waiting for people to load, and then you'll have the people who will insist you get on first because they DON'T want to have to push past you and they are getting off two stops down...
I don't know, I don't feel like those are the situations you are describing.
And that just sounds completely alien to me o-o
What happens is:
London buses. They have a single door entry point that 3-5 people can surround, each giving themselves equal claim to FIRST. The exit doors are double doors. There are 2 emergency exits, minimum. The windows on the backs can also be deployed as emergency exits. There are at least 2 fire extinguishers on board at all times, a CO2 and a water one.
As a result, it's a great deal efficient at loading/unloading passengers with very little communication needed - especially with the Oyster
tm system. Speedy.
Thus, my quotidienne bus protocol goes as follows:
1. Bus approaching. If relevant bus, go to step 2. Otherwise step back for commuters to easy-reach the bus like the wind-fly.
2. Assess the velocity of the bus. Hail it. This automatically guarantees you a good chance of being first on - bus drivers are nice like that, and if you spotted the bus earliest, by this point most people will still be sitting down.
- Fun fact, London buses usually stop in front of the actual bus stop sign - not the stand/seats, to allow easiest embarking/disembarking for passengers.
3. Secure your place by the front door. You have to be quick as to reach there uncontested - if the bus over-reached you, simply adjust for its velocity with a few paces (if it isn't just stopping in front of you).
4. Check for any would be contenders. Tense muscles, one foot hovering towards the door - instant tip off that they mean to over take you (a common occurrence if this person is coming in from the sides), but what matters is who reaches the oyster first. For this reason whilst a left seeking position is highly advantageous - it's also highly rude, only used by those who would put their time ahead of others. The center and right angles allow you to quickly swipe the card and move on, both of which follow the rules of right of way, with priority to the center.
If the person(s) in question are standing back, feet are apart or are relaxed - exchange courtesies and allow them on first. This usually takes the form of London courtesies, with both parties moving forwards at the same time (somehow) whilst letting the other on first, often with intricate hand gestures, facial expressions and language. However, London courtesies are often not used on the bus (those are confined to low traffic underground trains), as fellow commuters behind the vanguard honour the courtesies, and allow all the parties involved on before themselves, uncontested.
It is death to break a Gentleman's agreement.
5. Head up to the chairs to easy crowd density/wait for stragglers to get off (very rare)/Head to the back of the lower deck or stand in the wheelchair/buggy area, as they are the most unused/last option for most to choose (again, better for the whole).
6. When getting off, you have right of way. A polite excuse me to those who do not move, those on the top deck should wait for those on the lower deck to leave first, never keep people waiting on the stairs, leave before those who would slow down the process UNLESS they are already leaving - in which case, politely wait (such as for those with leg injuries).
And you're done. With such efficiency it's possible to get 20-50 people on and off a bus in under a minute, without any two people ever even going close within physical contact. Though that's only if all of them are skilled commuters.
Though I also take into account worthiness - if I stood outside the stand in the rain (I love the rain, but still), I'm getting that cosy seat in the back first (only works for petrol engine buses - really warrrrrm). If not, normal protocol / allow those who've waited longer on.
*Word of warning
Only works if you can outwalk the average Londoner's brisk pace.
No one has time to waste. There's a reason why the front seats are the priority ones.
Next time:
- Drunk guy sick break, what do?
- The London Underground! No, I meant the trains >_>
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Topic: Things that made you RRRRRRAAAAGGGGEEEE today: Trust-o-nomics Edition (Read 3748109 times)