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[MetalSlimeHunt]

I have a disproportionate amount of kitchen horror stories.

-My mother, for some reason I forget, tried to make coffee by boiling it in a frying pan. As if that was bad enough, she left in the middle of boiling it to go to the bathroom, which is why I ended up walking into a kitchen of sparking, burning over-boiled coffee in a frying pan.

-My father started frying bacon but turned on the wrong heating element. We then went to go play video games, and when we returned, the cover of said heating element was sparking and red hot. My father proceeded to grab it with a kitchen glove and threw it into the sink.

-My friend, whom I foolishly trusted to be able to cook in my house, started making ramen with a very small amount of water in the pot. We then went to go play video games. You can see where this is going. Upon seeing a massive fire in Dead Space 2 I was immediately reminded of the ramen, an hour later. We got back to the kitchen and it had burned into some horrible black sludge on the bottom of the pan, the smell of which permeated the house for days.

-I do not know how to cook bacon. I managed to burn it and melt my spatula even with constant vigilance. 

[miauw62]

IDEA!
Cook a meal for your roommate.

[Rose]

I once put on some milk to boil, then suddenly a freind of mine from years back came for a surprise visit. we got talking, and wandering, and when I got back the milk was a charred mess.

[GlyphGryph]

I managed to burn it and melt my spatula even with constant vigilance.

Step 1: Use a metal spatula?

I had boiled some water and was adding the raw pasta.
I handled this poorly, resulting in fire and smoke and panicking.

I...wait, what? How the hell did that happen?

Noodles that were too long. I thought if I let them sit the bottoms would get squishy and the top would slide right down. Unfortunately, it turns out even the rim of a boiling pan can get pretty hot.

[nenjin]

Rule #1 of cooking: Never leave your meal unattended. Seriously, my mom does the same thing. She'll set a steak to broil then walk away for 30 minutes. Then she'll act surprised when it's a smoking mass of charred flesh.

That's actually one of my pet peeves. Drives me crazy when people treat cooking like it's self-automated.

[Descan]

You'd be surprised how many people think "Turning it to max will cook it faster!"

And then they burn their stuff and wonder why.

[GlyphGryph]

Rule #1 of cooking: Never leave your meal unattended.

Rule #2: If you are going to leave your meal unattended, for gods sake learn how long it will take to cook and set a kitchen timer for a bit before that (to be kept at hand)

[penguinofhonor]

I want a crock pot so I can just leave all my cooking unattended.

[Flying Dice]

Leaving a meal unattended isn't necessarily a bad idea, as long as you either have (self-annotated) recipes or a solid idea of how long things take.

[nenjin]

I disagree, for the most part. Baking is one thing.....broiling, boiling, grilling, sauteing or anything with an open-ended cook timer or on an open flame should be baby sat so it can be stirred, turned, rotated, flipped or what have you, for best results.

Note, I was a saute' cook for a while and you can't do proper saute' if you're not constantly watching it and moving it around.

[MaximumZero]

You'd be surprised how many people think "Turning it to max will cook it faster!"

And then they burn their stuff and wonder why.

Burned on the outside, frozen on the inside! Ah, just like mama used to make.

I disagree, for the most part. Baking is one thing.....broiling, boiling, grilling, sauteing or anything with an open-ended cook timer or on an open flame should be baby sat so it can be stirred, turned, rotated, flipped or what have you, for best results.

...you can't do proper saute' if you're not constantly watching it and moving it around.

Listen to this man. He knows what he's talking about.

[da_nang]

You'd be surprised how many people think "Turning it to max will cook it faster!"

And then they burn their stuff and wonder why.

Although, turning it to max but starting with a cold pan can work out for certain dishes.

[Flying Dice]

Granted, I've done more baking than actual cooking, but some things can be walked away from as long as you aren't very far away/have an ear open for 'pot boiling over' or 'smoke alarm going off'. Not "go across the building and play games" so much as "go in the next room and read". You're the professional opinion here, though.

[nenjin]

It's any more complicated than an oven pizza, I stand at attention. Too many years of watching my mom sin against the Culinary Gods, I suppose.

[GlyphGryph]

If it goes in the oven or in water or otherwise doesn't need any attention, I have no problem setting a timer and wandering off. And I put lots of things in the oven. Pizza. Pasta. Sandwiches (okay, those go in the press grill, but same concept).

Only thing that really needs attention for me is eggs and the second half of rice dishes.