If there is a Simpsons reference, I did not get it...
Anyway, that Bomb did not turn out to be a source of FUN, yet :/
Turn 22Iget in the weapon store, I look for a weapon for me and loot the cashbox silent as possible
| You inspect the cash box. It is made of steel and looks quite stable. It needs a key for opening. You prioritize on a weapon first and decide to give the big steel <<*battleaxe*>> right over the the checkout counter a try. It weighs well in your hand, its serrated blade menaces with spikes of steel on each side and is engraved with a picture of a gargoyle and a dragon fighting. The additional spikes give this weapon a hit bonus, even if a hit was not targeted well. (-1 enemy dodge)
explode
| It goes off with a really loud BOOOM, just as Toaster sneaks by. The building itself is rigid enough to withstand the explosion, but the machinery inside is instantly trashed, as gears and axles grind on the suddenly deformed exterior casing. Those of you on the main street instantly realize, what the purpose of this building was, because all the streetlights suddenly go dark. Only the stars cast light now and everything, even the inside of the weapon shop is flodded with darkness, making it more difficult to find anything.
Frown as every one tries to be quite, before screaming "Wheres your Scotish Pride! REBELION!!!!" and hopefully leading my army of the town towards the citadel
| You scream your words in order to bring about a revolution, but the citizens are just too cowardly to act up against their rulers. You make not a particularly heroic group also, because half is still looting the weapon shop or busy being a monster. So you lead only yourself along the main street and past the hammerite building just as it explodes.
| You don't even realize that it exploded, because of your shouting being even louder.
Grab a crossbow for wolfchild, then sneak off to the cathedral with Para and Frelock.
| You don't find a crossbow in the shop.
| So you just leave and start sneaking along the main street. Just as you go past the hammerite building, jozilla's bomb detonates. You are deafened by the explosion, but not hit by shrapnel.
I listen at the door see see if I hear anyone behind it. If I don't I cloak myself in shadow and head in. If I do I get my warhammer ready and gesture for frelock to open the door, and will create a burst of light if the door opens to blind anyone inside, then go in swinging.
| You press your ear against the door, but hear nothing. So you ask Frelock to open it cautiously. It is not locked. Light floods out into the graveyard. There are no shadows inside to hide in, so you make some of your own. You are still visible, because your presence seems to swallow up the light around you. Luckily, nobody is inside at this time, who could notice you.
Enter the small side building.
| You enter the small building right after Paranatural. It is filled with weapon racks and cabinets. This is the hammerite armory, mounted on the wall you see various displays of weapons and shields. Two armorstands in the far corner display a set of polished hammerite parade armor each. There are also numerous crates here, some open and filled with wood wool.
equip armor and get to tha citadel
| You can't do anything, because you are still violently vomiting. You feel slightly better afterwards, but still look pale.
Look around for a shortsword and a bow with quiver and arrows
| You look around but trip over a poleaxe that was lying in the darkness on the ground.
| You fall but brace yourself just in time to avoid faceplanting into sharp blades.
Give up on trying to get a weapon, its obviosly not going to happen, instead i try to figgure out my new eyes and i also try to make the ears functional again (but not ratty) and increase the bone density in my arms with an equivilent increase in muscle to move the increased bone
| You wisely choose to not move at all until you have figured out the direction you are facing. Your brain starts to assemble the various pictures. Up and Down are relatively easy to identify. Your ears are still working, they are just hidden and at your neck, so you reason, after hearing Nuker's scream for scottish pride.
| Next you try to increase your bone density and indeed, your bones get heavier, able to withstand much more force.
| However, you fail at doing every bodybuilders dream: Big muscles over night? Nah, that apparently only works in teleshopping. Thus, you gain a statistical bonus against breaking bones, but a -1 strength penalty due to increased mass of your limbs.
=====
Status after Turn:
Location: Main street, near ruined building, standing upright
Health: cuts all over upper body
Possessions: Generic underwear, grey pinstripe suit pants, torn dark blue shirt, metal bracket (held), >>Iron ball mace<< (held)
Skills: Novice item enchanter
Location: inside weapon shop, standing upright, in shadows
Health: uninjured
Possessions: Generic underwear, brown leather pants, 2 bombs (held), <<*Steel Battleaxe*>>
Skills: Skilled Climber, basic telekinesis, novice demoman
Abilities: King of Nowhere, magic light (off)
Location: Cathedral armory, standing upright, in shadows despite being in a lit room
Health: uninjured
Possessions: Generic underwear, hessian pants, red shirt, steel warhammer (held)
Skills: Basic shadow manipulation
Location: Main street, near weapon shop, standing upright
Health: uninjured
Possessions: Generic underwear, baggy pants, steel warhammer (held)
Skills: Basic Telepathy
Abilities: Summon void blades (off)
Location: inside weapon shop, on the floor
Health: uninjured
Possessions: Generic underwear, white cargo-shorts, named lead lockpick, iron knife, steel chainmail, gloves, greaves & boots
Skills:novice Dreamwalker, advanced TK healing
Location: Cathedral armory, standing upright
Health: uninjured
Possessions: Generic underwear, blue jeans, blue vest, <<small dagger>> (held), 40 silver coins
Skills: Roundhousekick (granted by items), basic sneaking
Location: Main street, standing upright
Health: uninjured
Possessions: Generic underwear, scottish kilt, 2 silver and 5 copper coins, steel chainmail, gloves, greaves & boots
Skills: Skilled Breakdancer, Skilled TK healer
Location: Main street, near weapon shop, standing upright
Health: uninjured, disoriented, not quite familiar with insectoid vision
Possessions: Generic underwear, dark blue stretchy pants
Abilities: regeneration, reinforced ribcage, tail, long legs, fur, a head full of eyeballsheavy bones
=====
Environment: A medieval steampunk city. It is night. The streetlights do not illuminate
anything anymore, many doorways and alleys remain unlit, only lightsource are torches, the cathedral compound and the stars. (-1 sight)
Free items:
two halves of a warhammer, a little further down the main street
Glass shards in front of the weapon shop
Various debris near the ruined generator house
Bodies:
4 paladins either dead or unconscious in general vicinity of the weapon shop (2 stripped to underwear)
Nimitz at the cathedral entrance
World rules:
+2 to sneaking. (can be negated by type of surface)
+2 to hiding. (can be negated by lightsources)
+2 to attacks when the victim is unaware of your presence.
Fumbling a cooperation action will never cause both participants to be spotted.
=====
Locations:
Side street: A small street branching out from the main street. The walls of the neighboring houses are made from rough stone, reinforced by steel girders. Your exit is here.
Main street: A market street, devoid of people but crowded with crates and wagons. There are several shops here: An armor shop, a clothing store, a bakery, an alchemy store, a weapon store and possibly more.
Clothes shop: This two story building contains a shop selling high quality clothing. The inside is unlit. The side window on the ground floor is open.
Weapon shop: This two story building houses a weapon shop. There is an open window on the backside, 1st floor. A pile of shirts is nearby as well as, the top half of another warhammer, one dead hammerite paladin and 3 unconscious ones. The front window is broken.
Guardhouse: A small office for the city watch. Contains a cell and two beds for the guards.
Tavern: A big building right next to the bridge and the guardhouse.
Cathedral: The Hammerite cathedral proudly presents a new relic: A mysterious gemstone called "The Eye". The front gate is watched by 2 hammerite guards, a paladin and a bowman. It is surrounded by a wall (some crates stacked against from the outside) and accompanied by a cemetery and various other buildings that are part of a larger complex.
Cathedral street: This street lies parallel to the main street and leads to the cathedral, too. One hammerite paladin patrols there somewhere.
Alchemy store: This shop is accompanied by a small, walled off herbal garden. It lies exactly between the main street and Cathedral street.
Hammerite generator building: A building only 1 story high but with walls of steel. Wrecked on the inside, door and barred window are lying on the street. The outside is intact except for some scorchmarks where the window used to be.
=====
Background: [3] That explosion could be heard even from the cathedral compound. Moments later, an alarm siren goes off.
=====
I think it might be helpful to recap the lore for a second:
The eye is some sort of gemstone, probably cursed, that knows levitation and has the unnerving habit of teleporting itself at will and was thus encased in a reliquary and magically warded by the hammerite priesthood right over the high altar of the cathedral.