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[GaryOak]

Ohh, ok, I'll try to play this tomorrow

[FuzzyDoom]

Oh, BTW, besides being an Animal Trainer/something, how about making me a Speardwarf?

[GaryOak]

Expedition Report of Emperor GaryOak

First of Hematite, 1053

It's been a long and arduous year under that Dictator Imakuni, but at long last I've managed to convince the others of my obvious qualities as a leader, and their better. I am now in command of this fortress.

SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUT UP. Stupid voices...

Sigh, first, I'd like to say that this is the most miserable fortress I've ever had the displeasure of being a part of. We've barely dug into the Earth, and we're even farming ABOVE GROUND, LIKE ELVES! That and some of the other Dwarves continue to engage in obviously un-dwarf like behavior, with their love of the outside world, how queer.

The fort, I might add, is also a mess, clearly a sign of the foolishness of Imakuni, I can't even walk through the main hall without tripping over a barrel... And that Capps, he just won't shut up. It's nothing but endless complaints with all of them as a matter of fact, most of these Dwarves I would trust with my life. Hiralarious however, is a competent fighter, and would make an excellent bodyguard...

As to the above ground farming, I suppose it can't be helped, these fools do not have my dwarven prowess. It's truly sad that I'm forced to lead this bunch of incompetents.

My current plan is to try and expand the fort, cleaning it up, digging deeper with the hopes of finding valuable resources, magma, and of course, water.. And, this will also give me an excuse to dispose of any of my political enemies who might challenge me.

I've made a map of the fort as it now stands, dreadful, just dreadful.

Fourth of Slate, 1053

Lio called me a fool when I ordered him to keep digging down into the Earth, he warned he had heard tales of horrors beyond our understanding. What a fool, there are nothing but treasures to be found in the earth, and we the dwarves are their rightful possessors. Well, now who is laughing? Whilst digging we came upon a set of caverns, and also an underground river! With this, we shall be able to establish proper underground farms and lumber fields! HAH.

I think Lio is just jealous of me, he wants my power. Well, he shan't have it, even if it means he has to die....

In other news a wave of migrants arrived, reports say 15 in all. Not bad, but I wonder if we can afford to feed all these new mouths. Steps might have to be taken to rectify this problem...

Finally, I've begun to shift our various metalworking operations inside. I need to produce some picks, because at the moment we have a serious shortage of miners, and I need to dig out my protected sanctuary...

They're all out to get me you see.

Twenty-Third of Slate, 1053

Work is under way on developing an underground farming system, at first I considered moving the water up via an elaborate system of pumps, however I believe in the long term this will only encourage the dwarves to remain near the surface, when in fact we should be heading deeper and deeper underground.

Most likely a future leader shall establish the dwarven kingdom such that it sits under the great river, which I have named Oakchussist. With this in mind it will be a simple task to redirect the waters not only for underground farming, but also for an establishment of an underground Fungi Industry...

Out of the new migrants, I believe I've taken the greatest liking to yqbear, she's a stout dwarf, and full of promise. She will make an excellent addition to our expedition.

Also, I am looking forward to the completion of a chamber, which shall be used to execute enemies of our glorious dwarven State. 

26th of Felsite, 1053

The Elves arrived a few days ago, and did I ever show them a good time, Hahhhhhhhh.

Unbeknown to them, I had already dug out the area under the trade depot, and build a series of supports designed to collapse upon the flip of a lever. Under cover of darkness I sent yqbear out to dig a channel around the depot, and then, the trap was sprung. I had a painting drawn to show the genius and daring of the night-time dig:

And another, showing the result:

One of the merchants survived, but he's badly injured. Anyway, it matters not, all their goods are now ours.

Stupid elves, serves them right!

First of Hematite, 1053

One of our expedition members by the name of b0oty recently fell under a strange mood, alas, she keeps requesting strange supplies, including body parts, that we simply can't provide, and so the decision has been made to lock her up in her shop, before the inevitable takes place.

Twentieth of Hematite, 1053

There are reports of screams behind the walls we placed around expedition member b0oty. They say they can hear her talking to herself, and conspiring vengeance against the entire fort. I guess it was indeed wise to trap her as we did. Plus, I suspected she was against me the whole time.

[cappstv]

The Wonderfully Lovely Journal of Lio

Fourth of Slate, 1053,[i/]
Well journal i did a no no today. I called emoper garyoak a fool, cause he funny like one. All i was trying to say that there might be devilish demons in the deep! Oh well, he will get whats coming to him HAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Well diary more friends came to play with me today. Oh i hope they find hell nice and cozy.

[cappstv]

The Journal of Cappstv

First of Hematite, 1053,[i/]
FUCK, WE ARE FUCK. WE SHOULD START A BAKERY AND START MAKING FUCK CAKES. OH YES YOU GUESS IT. Garyoak is in charge now. And he wants to dig deep. To better demonstrate how deep he wants us to dig, i will say 2 words. DEMON PITS. Yep, we are going to dig into hell, cause this guy don't believe in it. If I have to run again, I will.

26th of Felsite, 1053,[i/]
Gary just killed a caravan of elves. No wait, he almost killed a caravan of elves. There is one poor fucker still alive. And Gary is still ordering Lio to dig deep. There is something wrong about lio. I don't know if its the fact that he loves everyone here, or the fact he is obsessed with demons. Just the other day he told me the tale of my old home. Apparently, all dwarfs keep journals, so its well documented. He told it so vividly, as if he was actually there when it happen. He said that the last survivors sealed off the pit, and flood the lower floors with water, to make sure nothing ever goes down there again. They then slowly went insane and starve.

He then said there was only one survivor. He said that he ran before any real fighting even started. Of course this survivor was me. He then went on to say how everyone will get what they deserve in the end, and that you can't run forever. Well besides that being fucking creepy from him, it was also true. I'm stuck here, as i come to realize. I'm surrounded by a ring of goblin loving mountains. I'm starting to think this ring is a cage. A cage for what we are going to release upon the world.

I can still hear them. The screams of the dwarfs, the screams of the demons, the screams of the elves. Everywhere i go there is fucking suffering.

Sometimes I think I'm already in hell.


Twentieth of Hematite, 1053,[i/]
Oh, the source of the screams just turn out to be b0oty going crazy! Oh, yippie!

[Imakuni]

Summer, 1053

This is my first journal entry from Stasistome in which I am not running things. Turning the reigns over to Gary, I have to admit, was a little hard, sort of like watching somebody together with an old lady friend of yours whom you had just parted ways with days ago... Oh, well.

Well, I can't necessarily say I agree with Gary's leadership tactics... His first order of business was to have Lio dig down into the earth, looking for the caverns I was torn about looking for. We don't even have a proper military yet... What if the stories are actually true, what will happen to this fortress I've worked so hard on? Even worse, what shall happen to me and all of the other dwarves if we should encounter some creatures down there? Oh well, at least there's water, such as I predicted. In fact, I think Gary's gone a little water crazy, that's really all he rambles on about, the underground river, water for underground farming, a whole new kingdom under the river, water water water water water. I don't think he's been getting enough water to his brain, if you ask me. He even named the underground river after himself, I'm pretty sure that's a bigger move than just making yourself a good sized bedroom.

15 new dwarves suddenly appeared in the meeting hall one day, they won't say anything about their origins, and neither will Gary. Must have heard about how amazingly my leadership skills have made the fortress prosper, and wanted a new home, but Gary made them say nothing about it, because of a little inferiority complex, hah. I mean, 15 dwarves wouldn't just wander into an unknown camp for no reason, when it would usually be much safer to set up one of their own...

In addition to the risky move of digging down into the caverns, Gary decided that a couple of easy to get items were better than our relations with the elves. Now, I don't particularly like the elves, I believe we should cut down as many trees as we want, but really, angering the elves before we even have a proper military? This fortress was just started a year ago, we should give in to the elve's commands at least for a little while... But no, Gary wanted to make a trap under the trade depot and kill the merchant elves with a cheap shot, so he can flex his power over a small fortress with inexperienced dwarves. He definitely doesn't think with his head, that's for sure.

With the caverns and the elves, I think I'm going to just lock myself in my magnificent room for a while. Maybe admire my coffin a bit, because I may be seeing it soon, really soon.

[cappstv]

THE LIFE AND TIME OF B0OTY

Twentieth of Hematite, 1053,

HI GUYS, IM BOOTY AND IM FUCKING CRAZY BITCHES!
IM FUCKING GOING TO KILL YOU ALL, YOU DIDNT HAVE MEAT BONES, I NEEDED THE MEAT BONES FOR THE PROJECTS FOR THY GODS. AND NOW I FUCKING INSANE, LUCKLY ONLY 85% OF ME IS INSANE AND THE REST IS UH WRITINGSSSS. LOCKING ME IN THIS WORK SHOP DO NOTHING CAUSE IM FUCKING GONNA TUNNEL OUT OF HERE! I AM GOING TO OVERTHROW THIS PLACE, THEY THINK THEY CAN STARVE ME. I CANT BE STARVE, CAUSE I AM THE B0OTY!  OH GARY IS GUNNA PAY FOR THIS

[GaryOak]

delete

[GaryOak]

Expedition Report of Emperor GaryOak

Twenty-First of Hematite, 1053

I've decided to appoint Blankets as Doctor and as my personal physician, I feel like I can trust her more than the others.

B0oty continues to scream in her "prison." I almost feel sorry for her, but my safety and the safety of the fort are paramount.

18th of Malachite, 1053

The Fort has failed to attract migrants this season. A shame, but not surprising as I'm still making repairs from Imakuni's lax administration. There was a minor set back on the construction of the underground farm, but things are now proceeding according to plan, and soon our dwarves will have a means of producing large amounts of food reliably underground.

Also, the execution chamber is nearing completion, and soon I will be executing the first dissident.

B0oty continues to whine about her fate behind the statues. I've grown tired of her.

[cappstv]

The Fashionable Journal of the Increasing Crazy Booty

Twenty-First of Hematite, 1053,
GARRY, GARRRRRRRRRRRRRY, PLEASE LET ME OUT, I PROMISE I WONT SLOWLY KILL EVERY MEMBER OF THE FORT WITH MY BARE HANDS, AND IF I DO I PROMISE TO DO IT QUICKLY. GARY, GARY! IM SO SCARE GARY! GOD DAMNIT LET ME OUT GARY IM FUCKKING GOING EVEN MORE INSANE! GAAARY! GARY LET ME OUT OR I WILL CALL YOUR MOTHER! SHE WON'T LIKE THIS GARY, YOU ALWAYS BEEN A BAD CHILD. I BEEN WORKING ON THE MURDER ROAD, LALALALALALA! GARY, GARY, GARY! _{im going to come after you gary......}

18th of Malachite, 1053,
GARY IM NOT SUPPOSE TO DIE HERE, IM SUPPOSE TO KILLLLLLLLLLL YOU! ITS OUR DESTINY GARY! GARY WANNA HEAR A JOKE. YOU LIVE! HAHAHAHAHA ITS FUNNY CAUSE ITS NOT GOING TO BE TRUE CAUSE IM GOING TO MURDER YOU GARY, IM GOING TO MURDER YOU.

[Imakuni]

Autumn, 1053

B0oty, the butcher (or the meat mutilator, as I liked to call her) went into some sort of strange mood, demanding body parts, and rambling about some new masterpiece or whatever. We don't have any body parts, Stasistome hasn't seen the death of a single creature yet (Oh wait, the elves... Dammit Gary) and we have no body parts, because of that. She went insane after the inevitable of no body parts being delivered to her, but Gary barricaded her into her room with statues beforehand, so she went on tantruming in this
small little hole of a workshop. Kind of sad, really.

Gary seems like he's gotten a little infatuated with this 'Blankets', a new migrant that came with the last wave. He's appointed her as his 'personal physician', which means that they're going to be playing doctor, I guess. She's a little too, ah, hefty for me, but I'm not going to say anything like that around Gary, he's enough of a madman to kill me, and anyone else in this fort... Besides from his beloved Blankets, of course.

Speaking of Madman Oak, he's been building an 'execution chamber' of some sorts. The details are top secret, but gossip is that he already has a dwarf in mind for the first victim of this horrid device... And in my mind, this can only mean either me or Lionel. Lionel has been letting loose some harsh comments about Gary lately, and even though that is one of the reasons I'm his friend, because he's so honest and to the point, he's going to get himself killed... I, on the other hand, have been keeping my mouth shut about how I think about Gary as a leader, and have been making sure not to say anything against him, because, yes, he is a madman. However, he didn't seem to like my previous leadership (Rock Fondler is a perfectly suitable title, I mean, he works with stones... It was only a joke!) and, if he finds this journal, God forbid, he would hang me right then and there. I've been keeping it in a very secret place though, not inside of my bedroom, and I doubt he even knows I have a journal, and even if he did, it would take him a hundred years to find it. Nonetheless, I am going to ask Greydead to make twelve more locks for my bedroom doors, just in case.

Also, no migrants this season, when there were plans for some to come here, the only explanation of the drop from 15 down to zero is that word's finally getting out that my leadership is over and that Gary's has begun, which forced the migrants away.

[GaryOak]

Expedition Report of Emperor GaryOak

11th of Limestone, 1053

B0oty's screams have ended behind the walls we placed around her, and I ordered them removed. As expected, only a corpse was found.

The chamber is complete, and the underground farms are nearing fruition, I've enclosed a drawing of the progress into this report. There were some initial setbacks, but everything is going along well.

I've also become aware of a plot against me, however, it is not from either Lionel or Imakuni as I expected, but rather from Karmaloop. Despite their claims to love me, I've become aware of a plan on their part to overthrow my kingdom. This can not be allowed.

Finally, the humans have arrived, and trade is commencing, I look forward to trading away our worthless baubles finest wares to them.

Also, there appears to be some issues with a mountain goat harassing our Herbalists.. I might have to send someone out there to dispose of it.

12th of Sandstone, 1053

Things are commencing nicely, except for the fact that a clothier, whose name I've forgotten, went insane due to lacking the proper materials. However, they're just standing around, not bothering anyone, so I suppose I shall permit them their freedom for the time being.

Trade with the humans went well, we stocked up on ample food supplies, and that plus our underground farming, our above ground farming, and our herbalism

27th of Sandstone, 1053

Karmaloop is now dead, in celebration of my triumph over the subversives, I have had this painting of his drowning made:


I've also begun smelting and forging trinkets from Gold, this will be useful in our future trading endeavors, finally, I have begun to expand the rooms available to our dwarves.

[Imakuni]

Sandstone 1053

Human merchants arrived, and Gary didn't murder them, as with the Elves. That is a good thing. Also, rumors are that the one going to be executed is actually Karmaloop, because supposedly he was planning to overthrow Gary, which is foolish for two reasons: One, because he's going to fall from power this Spring, anyway, so really no use risking your lives to overthrow him, and two, all of Karmaloop's friends are animals. None of us really like him, and animals can't overthrow a ruler...

...Or...

...Can they?

[cappstv]

THE POST MODEM JOURNAL OF BOOTY, DEAD GAL

11th of Limestone, 1053

IM, SO, HUNGRY.

[GaryOak]

Expedition Report of Emperor GaryOak

14th of Timber, 1053

Ah, the Dwarven trading caravan hath arrived, hopefully they've brought ample supplies of booze. Not to say we don't have enough booze, but then again, CAN YOU EVER HAVE ENOUGH?

25th of Moonstone, 1053

Surprisingly, they had no liquor at all! However, we were able to trade for more food and other supplies... Bloody shame!
Also, a miner has perished, for no apparent reason... The poor bastard simply refused to drink.

All this death is starting to get to me.

Also, the chambers are complete, we only need to produce more beds to fill them. I've also begun construction on a tomb, although I doubt any tomb could ever match my grandness.

In addition, Stephen is proving himself to be quite the Dwarf! He has constructed not one, but two masterpieces:

Although, I'm not sure I particularly enjoy his subject choice:

25th of Moonstone, continued, 1053

Also, I should add that several kinds of dangerous wildlife seem to have moved into the area, in addition to their being a whole herd of goats, there's also a giant toad and a leopard.

5th of Opal, 1053

What is this SHIT?
The Dwarves have been partying for about a month straight now, half of them aren't even working? LAZY, GOOD FOR NOTHING, BASTARDS!
I should kill them all...

21st of Obsidian 1053

It's near the end of my year, so I shall be brief, however I wanted to make note of the fact that yqbear has claimed the metalsmith's forge, and started making a mysterious construction out of gold. I can't wait to find out what it is!

25th of Obsidian 1053

By The Gods! It's Glorious!