"-Body Language: The weapon has or even is a creature's Head or Arm and thus also includes their natural attacks with artifact results."
Medusa's Head!
"-Sympathetic: The Armor Stand's owner gains the benefit of the armor placed upon it in the form of a force projection. The force is weightless and is just as hard though it has none of the armor's abilities."
What do you mean by the armours abilities? Wouldn't that just include it protecting value? Or do you mean artifact armour would not bestow it's enchantment?
"-Insect Appeal: The object in question attracts insects, bugs, and spiders of the vermin variety even when there is no way for them to get at the artifact."
I offer another quote: "Most vermin teleport, so nothing actually contains them." -Fuzzy
"-No rest for the wicked: Owners who die holding this artifact are instead dirrectly sent to heck to be torchured forever by demons."
Unless hell is implemented as entering a HFS or digging
really deep, I don't see what effect it will have. Besides;
"As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Some of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there are more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. " -
http://www-users.cs.york.ac.uk/susan/joke/exoendo.htmAlso, think of a chair that does this, in your dining room. And make it possible for the quality of the item to negate the bad thought of the curse. Just for laughs.
"-True-Self: The Mask gives the user attributes set according to their personality giving them grotesk features as their body is warped. Their likes and dislikes become facial features while their lazyness could give them an obese body."
Wasn't there one guy that died in Boatmurdered that liked demons that was killed? Couldn't this mask turn him into a half-demon?
Also, this mask set seems to be inspired by the Zelda series.
"-Demanding: The Cage asks for the most innocent and pure hearted individual in a city to be caged forever or it will bring bad fortune. The Prisoner's fondest wishes materialise into boons for the fortress such as fortune, food, animals, or people. When the prisoner dies naturally the cage once again becomes hungry."
How interesting, reminds me of quite a few plots and quests. Easy to make the "village with a dark secret" plot with this. Where the people are very prosperous, but visitors would feel as though something creepy and sinister is going on.
"Artifact weapon: When weapon is created, it randomly (or not so randomly) chooses itself a "Champion" (not the legendary soldier). This person is automatically made some skill level (a really lucky roll might net you a legendary user) in the use of that type of weapon. Weapon can ONLY be used by that person as long as they live. Not sure about after they die."
Hey, that reminds me of Need! The enchanted shortsword from the Heralds of Valdemar that the maker forged herself into. She would choose a woman that she believed would have need of her. Then when the woman starts to rely on her, she leaves. I am guessing this artifact would have the sentient tag. Need's abilities made a warrior immune to magic, and a mage a master of the sword. So Need fit's her name x2.
"-Portal: If the arrow strikes anything that can open: Door, Mouth, Chest, backpack, ect. It will open. It also causes vicous bleeding in creatures as it “Opens” their wounds."
It would be more entertaining to have the arrow open a portal with the thing that can open to somewhere else. I would laugh very hard and long to see a female dwarf get blasted out of a goblins eye. However, I am guessing the small space that the "object" is forced through would cause said object to be reduced to small enough pieces to fit. The goblin would no longer be able to see, or do much else, after this.
Lava is another option, a good one. Perhaps you would be able to designate a portal beforehand? One in a magma pool?
"-Port: Wherever the arrow lands is where you will be."
What happens if the arrow gets embedded in a dragon's stomach?
"-Unorthodox ammo: The Bow can load something different such as Arrows, Bolts, Ballistae Ammo, Severed Disks, Stones, or weapons. It doesn't make the objects any lighter."
Severed elephant heads? (With tusks.)
- Pi Pie: Diner becomes a philosopher.
Something else food related, why can't artifact foods make up a whole batch instead of just one? You would think such meals would be for grand banquets of 50+ dwarves. That would be quite useful.
- Some Dragon Food with a witty name: Gives draconic attributes, both aesthetic and useful. This might just be included under "You are what you eat".
- Self: After the small meal is finished, the diner will continue eating, itself, without noticing. If the diner is tough enough, it won't lose too many limbs before it is full.
- Cake of Digestive Overhaul: Diner will permanently eat a different type of item as food. Rocks, wood, ash, gems, bones, copper, raw vermin...Diner will eventually gain physical alterations depending on diet. So a dwarf that eats iron would see have functioning iron skin, bones, flesh, and organs. The item that the cake changes the diner to would be dependent upon some part of the cooks likes.
How would you determine where the dwarf put the room? I can imagine Toady testing such a thing and the dwarf digging right into a river, magma flow, or subterranean pit. There are also some really awkward places it could be put, like a dining room that everyone starts going to, with its entrance on the outside of the fortress where there are no defenses.
Does the dwarf also smooth and engrave the room? Or other assorted task to finish it? Making doors, tables, or other objects that are required for the room (they would not be artifacts, the room effect would be).
Walls would not grow more crystals. Pools would. You either need slowly cooling magma for good crystals or a solution of the crystal's ions. So I am guessing you could have crystal pools that you grow the gem in, kinda like farms. Except you would need to drain them to "harvest" and fill them with the proper solution. Another use for the alchemists lab perhaps.