My army, aptly named the legion of Umiman the Unlimited, proudly marches from our spawn point in fail formation. Our pink and white armor standing out in the foggy weather. Camouflage? Pffft. Our grand legion subscribes not to such dishonorable tactics!
That is our enemy! A wily and dishonorable general by the name of Hunter Trask. He bears such unique colours for his banners and army. Black and red. Definitely not also the colours of every single other general I've faced yet. It has led me to conclude that wherever these enemies come from, they only have two colours. By the way, he's capturing the local weaponsmith and is stealing all those weapons for himself. It will give his army a bonus to attack!
Here's my legion gently coercing the local blacksmith to kindly share his armour for my men. He was most cooperative and no foul play was involved at all. Our legion now has a boost to defense!
We prepare our formations against the enemy who will have to ford the river to come to us.
The enemy fords. Leading the formation is the dishonourable maggot himself. He uses his significantly higher levels of experience to equip his general unit with bows and arrows!
Looking at the enemy army, I decide that the usual legion strategy of BANZAAAAAAAIIIIIII!!!!! charging would not be the best choice. The enemy have lots of katana cavalry and other mean-looking pointy things that I myself cannot get because I'm not experienced enough. Also, I have a defense boost. Defense boosts don't help charges. Thus, I would have to make the enemy come to me instead. This is easy.
The first rule in the book of strategy by Umiman the Unlimited is: if the enemy has lots of cavalry, it means he likes cavalry. The second rule in the book is: cavalry like to charge archers. Thus, I move my archers to bait the enemy cavalry. I place the uncrossable lake to the right flank of the archers and all my spears to the left. My own retinue of super elite badass muscular and handsome bodyguards sits behind them.
Sure enough, the enemy take the bait. I can hear them screaming to attack all the way over here.
Boomf! The charge impacts. All the poor archers who are infinitely replaceable are mowed down. But look to the rear! The chargers are now the chargees! My spears race up their rear and prepare to poke them in their backsides.
Some of the enemy cavalry managed to escape my little flanking maneuver and try to run out the rear. However, most of them are now caught in little pointy death sticks. My retinue charges in with the full fury of the pink legion! My archers have ran to the hills after they were all slaughtered. At the same time, the entire enemy army is lacking their little horsey bodyguards. Thus... in true Umiman the Unlimited fashion....
BANZAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!
The dishonourable enemy has realized shit has the fan and abandons his womanly tactic of sitting on his horse, throwing things at me, and comes in for the charge. He's max level! He's been in thousands of battles! His men are red and black!
Here they come! My retinue, busy cutting down little red and black swordsmen, sees the charge by the bow-carrying max level general!
Muhahahaha! Another trap! I had been secretly keeping another bunch of spear samurai at the rear just for this moment. They charge the charge and make the fool wet his pants! Look at all the buffs on his general! He's got banzai charge activated for extra charge damage and attack. Inspired army for even more attack. And rally for increased morale. All I have is rally.
Here we can see all the stuff on the enemy's banner. Such as his massive rank. His general unit is literally the highest rank in the game. Compared to mine, which you can see to the left, I only have one chevron. But all the experience in the world helps him not a whit. Mostly because of my incredible traps. Partly because bows make terrible melee weapons.
Victory is ours! As you can see, the enemy is completely and totally crushed. Look, even the archers came back to play. My banzai charge on the left completely decimated the unprotected enemy infantry. My spears and general on the right crushed the enemy cavalry. Experience means nothing! Strategy reigns supreme! Glory for the pink legion!
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Topic: Shogun 2: Total War (Read 115031 times)