+Good idea to use humans as the viewpoint of the story
+Very nice intro
+Concept of the engravings is great
+People getting mad was good, combined with the history of the miners attacking each other in the records
+Story catches Lovecraftian kind of horror well (degress of the people around Besmarkezat and the dwarfs inside, unrecognisable shapes, old civilizations etc.)
-Sometimes the motives of the characters are not clear (e.g. Why does the dwarven King allow them to go there, Why do they have to follow the mad human into the depths of the mountain instead of just leaving the place)
Another point, neither really negative or positive, is that you stay close to the style Lovecraft told storys.
Having written Lovecraft Fanfiction by myself I know that it's hard not to use some story mechanics he is using (and to have some of them in the story is actually nice).
There are also some analogies in your story, there are quite a few elements from "At the Mountains of Madness" in it (expedition, engravings, the chase and the regrettable looking back) aswell as some resemblances to "The color out of space" mixed with a tad of Innsmouth look.
You incorporated this elements very well in this story and things like a research expedition and the engravings match DF perfectly(Hell, I always have to think of DF when I'm reading Mountains of Madnees or Shadow out of Time
), but in the end it might have been a bit to close to AtMoM.
Another typical Lovecraft thing you had was the intellectual main character aswell as the whole viewpoint of the story which I liked very much. The motivation of the main character to move on, even though he is afraid is explained very well (except for the point mentioned above where they decide to chase the mad human)
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Topic: The Shadow of Besmarkezat: Lovecraft meets DF (Read 2329 times)