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[Nonsapient]

I met my wife on Omegle during a /b/ raid.  Makes it really hard to explain to people how we met from across the Atlantic.

[Rilder]

True, true. That's why I'd err on caution

Luckily I was good with a fire extinguisher and nobody was home for awhile so I managed to hide any evidence of it ever happening.

I never got caught. 

Until now. Rilder, I am your father!

Yeah like my father knows my interwebs handle.

[Jreengus]

I have a budding interest in motorcycles (got my temps) but I can't afford one. Everything I've read about how to ride them says many accidents are from drunk driving, but I gotta ask, if you can barely walk to your motorcycle, how in the hell are you going to stay on one in the first place? Unless by crash, they mean you fall over once you get seated on it XD

They stay up on their own once they are going, it's pretty damn hard to tip them over whilst riding them and staying up while at a standstill is simply a case of using a single foot to steady it.

[SIGVARDR]

edited.

[smigenboger]

Everyone handles drinking differently,though.Some can go about just fine,others get angry,some get depressed,some completely lose balance,so on so forth.

As part of a confession, you forgot it also makes some people really, really, really, really, into others.

[Mishy]

Doh ho looks like im going to be banned again. Lets see if i can control myself.

I fapped on my nans bed while her and two family members were downstairs in her tiny 1 bedroom house. I hadnt fapped for about 2 weeks before, so i made a lot of noise. I went into the bathroom afew steps away to clean up then as i came back out one of the family members had come upstairs and was staring intently at this strange gray substance on the pillow. When she noticed me she went bright red and said "Oh.." then went back downstairs.
I stayed in that room for a good two hours until they had gone, then i made my hastily exit.
The stain is still there, my nan NEVER washes her sheets. She never washes anything.

Thats probably the worst one i could get away with saying here, but seriously i have a fucking dam of confession material inside me, waiting to burst.

[Vahan]

Doh ho looks like im going to be banned again. Lets see if i can control myself.

I fapped on my nans bed while her and two family members were downstairs in her tiny 1 bedroom house. I hadnt fapped for about 2 weeks before, so i made a lot of noise. I went into the bathroom afew steps away to clean up then as i came back out one of the family members had come upstairs and was staring intently at this strange gray substance on the pillow. When she noticed me she went bright red and said "Oh.." then went back downstairs.
I stayed in that room for a good two hours until they had gone, then i made my hastily exit.
The stain is still there, my nan NEVER washes her sheets. She never washes anything.

Thats probably the worst one i could get away with saying here, but seriously i have a fucking dam of confession material inside me, waiting to burst.

I felt the thread just die a bit.

Carry on, though.

[smigenboger]

You should get check out if it's grey...also you could've saved face and say it was snot XD

[Vahan]

You should get check out if it's grey...also you could've saved face and say it was snot XD

Nah, it can vary in colour and texture pretty rapidly, even in one guy if his diet changes enough.

I can swear I've been caught doing the handjive whilst sleeping. I woke up to find food in my room, but I couldn't tell if I'd been dreaming anything or what. It was just odd.

[LeoLeonardoIII]

You should get check out if it's grey...also you could've saved face and say it was snot XD

Nah, it can vary in colour and texture pretty rapidly, even in one guy if his diet changes enough.

I can swear I've been caught doing the handjive whilst sleeping. I woke up to find food in my room, but I couldn't tell if I'd been dreaming anything or what. It was just odd.

If food had appeared when you opened your eyes, I'd say either you have magical powers or you need to redefine what you consider "food".

[Randall Octagonapus]

OK some confessions

when i was 11 my dad taught me to play the banjo

I also once "fapped" at my grandmas house and also once in the school cafeteria

Oh and also i hide porn in my Your_First_fortress_files

[Mishy]

I also once "fapped" at my grandmas house and also once in the school cafeteria

Ahaha i used to take breaks from class and fap in the toilets.

I used to hold my hands out and grope arses in crowded halls and corridors at school.

[Realmfighter]

Dear god you guys.

[alway]

Heh, I remember when I was annoyed as a really little kid, I once built a stone-fall trap over my doorway. And by stone, I mean a lump of rock about 2 kilos. It worked! Luckily, my dad had trap-avoid. Got yelled at for quite a while for that. 

Dwarf fortress pre-destination?

[Grakelin]

I sometimes cheat at Space Munchkins.