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Author Topic: Incredibly Lame Puns  (Read 17276 times)

Vector

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Re: Incredibly Lame Puns
« Reply #45 on: November 05, 2010, 04:51:31 pm »

As I see it, there's 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don't.

There's 10 kinds of people in this world: those who understand binary, those who don't, and those who can extrapolate to different bases.
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"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

nonbinary/genderfluid/genderqueer renegade mathematician and mafia subforum limpet. please avoid quoting me.

pronouns: prefer neutral ones, others are fine. height: 5'3".

The Merchant Of Menace

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Re: Incredibly Lame Puns
« Reply #46 on: November 05, 2010, 04:54:15 pm »

I was assuming conversion to Base 10 or Hex.
Edit: also. what were you converting to in order to return 3? Just curious.
« Last Edit: November 05, 2010, 04:59:59 pm by The Merchant Of Menace »
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*Hugs*

ILikePie

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Re: Incredibly Lame Puns
« Reply #47 on: November 05, 2010, 04:55:00 pm »

As I see it, there's 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don't.
That's a darn good one, made me smile.
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Armok

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Re: Incredibly Lame Puns
« Reply #48 on: November 05, 2010, 04:58:29 pm »

As I see it, there's 10 kinds of people in the world. Those who understand binary and those who don't.

There's 10 kinds of people in this world: those who understand binary, those who don't, and those who can extrapolate to different bases.
You just took one of the best jokes in the world and made it 3 times better.
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So says Armok, God of blood.
Sszsszssoo...
Sszsszssaaayysss...
III...

The Merchant Of Menace

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Re: Incredibly Lame Puns
« Reply #49 on: November 05, 2010, 05:03:20 pm »

I should say 14 times better, at least
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Vector

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Re: Incredibly Lame Puns
« Reply #50 on: November 05, 2010, 05:04:38 pm »

Edit: also. what were you converting to in order to return 3? Just curious.

Ternary, i.e. base 3 ._.
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"The question of the usefulness of poetry arises only in periods of its decline, while in periods of its flowering, no one doubts its total uselessness." - Boris Pasternak

nonbinary/genderfluid/genderqueer renegade mathematician and mafia subforum limpet. please avoid quoting me.

pronouns: prefer neutral ones, others are fine. height: 5'3".

The Merchant Of Menace

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Re: Incredibly Lame Puns
« Reply #51 on: November 05, 2010, 05:06:15 pm »

Hee, I learned something new tonight then.
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Bauglir

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Re: Incredibly Lame Puns
« Reply #52 on: November 05, 2010, 05:39:09 pm »

-snip-
« Last Edit: June 09, 2015, 10:08:15 pm by Bauglir »
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In the days when Sussman was a novice, Minsky once came to him as he sat hacking at the PDP-6.
“What are you doing?”, asked Minsky. “I am training a randomly wired neural net to play Tic-Tac-Toe” Sussman replied. “Why is the net wired randomly?”, asked Minsky. “I do not want it to have any preconceptions of how to play”, Sussman said.
Minsky then shut his eyes. “Why do you close your eyes?”, Sussman asked his teacher.
“So that the room will be empty.”
At that moment, Sussman was enlightened.

Virex

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Re: Incredibly Lame Puns
« Reply #53 on: November 05, 2010, 06:44:24 pm »

Math jokes do include a lot of derivative work though...
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Pandarsenic

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Re: Incredibly Lame Puns
« Reply #54 on: November 05, 2010, 11:29:27 pm »

After a heavy day's digging at the archeological site in Norway, the researchers uncovered a priceless statue of the ancient Norse thunder god.

It was a wondrous piece of artwork - He had bulging muscles, and imposing stance, and of course his famous giant hammer.

But most important of all, the eyes in his fierce-looking face were made of two giant rubies that glittered with a brilliant red colour.

Of course, the two leading archeologists on the dig were both determined that they should be the one to have their name listed against the discovery, and pretty soon the argument was intensifying to the point where the rest of the team, despite being exhausted after the day's work, started to gather round to watch.

The two of them continued squabbling for some time, and they provided the others with a great source of amusement for the evening, and by the time they finally gave up and called a truce, everyone else was feeling quite refreshed by the entertainment.

As the crowd dispersed, one junior digger turned to his friend, and said:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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KARATE CHOP TO THE SOUL
Your bone is the best Pandar honey. The best.
YOUR BONE IS THE BEST PANDAR
[Cheeetar] Pandar doesn't have issues, he has style.
Fuck off, you fucking fucker-fuck :I

ECrownofFire

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Re: Incredibly Lame Puns
« Reply #55 on: November 06, 2010, 12:10:09 am »

Here's a good (or bad) one:

What do get when you mix an octopus and an apron?
Spoiler (click to show/hide)
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Blargityblarg

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Re: Incredibly Lame Puns
« Reply #56 on: November 06, 2010, 01:19:19 am »

I had a threefold one based on Dragon Ball Z that eventually morphed into a 4X electrochemical/crime pun crossover.

Spoiler: spoilered for the lame (click to show/hide)
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Blossom of orange
Shit, nothing rhymes with orange
Wait, haikus don't rhyme

ILikePie

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Re: Incredibly Lame Puns
« Reply #57 on: November 06, 2010, 05:54:04 am »

Why do mathematicians always confuse Halloween and Christmas? Because 31 Oct = 25 Dec.
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Simmura McCrea

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Re: Incredibly Lame Puns
« Reply #58 on: November 06, 2010, 08:11:18 am »

I'm not sure this one counts as a pun, but whatever.

So Heisenburg is driving along, and he gets pulled over by the police. The policeman asks him, "Sir, do you know how fast you were going?" He replies, "No, but I knew exactly where I was."
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Rose

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Re: Incredibly Lame Puns
« Reply #59 on: November 06, 2010, 09:17:53 am »

Once there was a marine biologist, named Dr. Panglos, who loved dolphins. (When I say he loved dolphins though, I’m not talking about in any kind of “sick” way; he just loved to study them). He spent his time trying to feed and protect his beloved creatures of the sea. One day, in a fit of inventive genius, he came up with a serum that would make dolphins live forever!


Of course he was ecstatic. But he soon realised that, in order to mass produce this serum, he would need large amounts of a certain compound that was only found in nature in the metabolism of a rare South American myna bird. Carried away by his love for dolphins, however, he decided that he would go to the zoo and steal one of these birds.


As he was arriving at the zoo an elderly lion was escaping from its cage. The Lion’s name was Leo, which wasn’t too original of a name for a lion if you ask me, but it’s probably not important to the story. Anyway, the zoo keepers were alarmed and immediately began combing the zoo for the escaped animal, unaware that it had simply lain down on the sidewalk and had gone to sleep since it was the Lion’s regular naptime anyway.


Meanwhile, the marine biologist arrived at the zoo and stole his bird. He was so excited by the prospect of helping his dolphins that he stepped absent mindedly over the sleeping lion on his way back to his car. Immediately, 15 policemen converged on him and arrested him for the crime of transporting a myna across a staid lion for immortal porpoises.
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