So I came back to this to find that my guy had died, so I brought him back. He's lost all his items and equipment (and thus his ranking on the "greed" hero list, which he was actually getting kinda high on), and now he's on the road to patching himself back up.
He also managed to bump into Reverend Bizarre... Selazar decided it was wise to hide behind a bush for that encounter.
And as for this surprisingly huge debate over the proper definition of this thing, I'd have to say that I consider this more of a toy than a game. Yes, you can interact with it, but your actions don't really define the outcome. The hero will continue to head off on his quests regardless of how vocal/helpful you are.
As for the "Zero-Player Game" term, I'm fairly certain that it just popped up as a part of the parody that these programs embody. It should be taken as a humorous jab, rather than an actual true definition (well, it can of course be used as a definition for stuff like this, but the word itself doesn't really mean anything, unlike "singleplayer" and "multiplayer"). Not that there's much to be gained from looking at it one way or the other, seeing as it will act the same way regardless of what we choose to call it. So there.
...and Selazar was just ambushed by a sequoia. Strange fellow.