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Author Topic: The Dwarven Poetry Club  (Read 2067 times)

Lord Dakoth

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The Dwarven Poetry Club
« on: May 18, 2010, 03:16:08 pm »

This is th' Library of Dwarven poetry. It will be carved into th' stone walls, mem'rized and sang to th' children. Whether ye be partyin', or haulin' stones, or chargin' inta battle, ye can recite an' sing poems an' songs that make ye a true Dwarf.

This be a lil' song I wrote while smoothin' the walls o' me bedroom. I sing it loud an' clear when'er I go fer a drink af'ter work, an' at parties. It be th' real icebreaker when th' elves come fer trade.

_____

Booze, booze, the Dwarven drink.
Clears me mind and helps me think.
In the bedrooms, in the hall:
Ever sweet scent of alcohol.

Wine, wine, so divine,
Can be made of grapes from vines.
Dwarves, however, only lust
For juice squeezed from old fungus.

Ale, ale, why so pale?
Why thine countenance so frail?
For the true Dwarven way,
Is to drink at first light of day.

Beer, beer, made from wheat
Makes me light upon me feet.
Watch me jig upon my chair,
See me jump into the air.

Rum, rum, sound the drums,
For great King Urist comes.
Into his mouth, much drink disappeared,
Much more did naught but soak his beard.

Booze, booze, the Dwarven drink.
Makes me breath and clothing stink.
Join me on New Year's Eve,
To ever drink and never leave!
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Genoraven

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Re: The Dwarven Poetry Club
« Reply #1 on: May 18, 2010, 03:29:52 pm »

When I doubt,
Let the magma out.
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Urist McPeasant cancels point and laugh at Philosopher - Philosopher no longer exists.
Philosopher cancels job: abstractualize existence: interrupted by personal nonexistence.

Rowanas

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Re: The Dwarven Poetry Club
« Reply #2 on: May 18, 2010, 04:31:24 pm »

This one's for singing round a fire with a hunk of bread and slab of meat.

It's a bit inspired by the OP, but to a shorter tune.

I've got a song to sing,
Of dwarves and steel and much drinking.

Mead, mead, it's you I need.
No grape, no hop, no plant, no seed.

Shield, shield, never yield.
No wound, no strike, no blow to heal.

Axe, axe, with grip of flax.
No fear, no trees, no goblin packs.

Stone, stone, rough or honed.
No wood will do for dwarvenhome.

Elf, elf, all by yourself
No hope, no prayer, no trick, no stealth.

Gem, gem, you're not for them.
No trade, no coin, no kobold den.

Gold, gold, rare and old.
No other metal shines as bold.

So now I've sung my tune in full,
In the dwarven drinking hall.
Logged
I agree with Urist. Steampunk is like Darth Vader winning Holland's Next Top Model. It would be awesome but not something I'd like in this game.
Unfortunately dying involves the amputation of the entire body from the dwarf.

Urist Imiknorris

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Re: The Dwarven Poetry Club
« Reply #3 on: May 18, 2010, 05:19:04 pm »

I had a song stuck in my head a few days ago, so I adapted part of it to DF.

Magma and SCIENCE and bright cyan metal,
Merchants and siezing the wares that they peddle,
Arenas where titans will enter the ring,
These are a few of the dwarfiest things.

Slaughtering goblins and shooting elves with trees,
Mermaid and unicorn leather industries,
Automatic obsidian casting,
These are some more of the dwarfiest things.

When the fort floods
Titan blood stings
And some Fun is had
I just think up all the dwarfiest things
And my dwarves are screwed so bad.
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Lord Dakoth

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Re: The Dwarven Poetry Club
« Reply #4 on: May 18, 2010, 05:37:33 pm »

Luv'ly. Now tha' tune is stuck in Dakoth's head as well.
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Rowanas

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Re: The Dwarven Poetry Club
« Reply #5 on: May 19, 2010, 03:14:39 am »

Ah. Rowan did not realise it was "speak in third person" day.
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I agree with Urist. Steampunk is like Darth Vader winning Holland's Next Top Model. It would be awesome but not something I'd like in this game.
Unfortunately dying involves the amputation of the entire body from the dwarf.

Cruxador

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Re: The Dwarven Poetry Club
« Reply #6 on: May 19, 2010, 03:44:41 am »

Ah. Rowan did not realise it was "speak in third person" day.
Cruxador feels that this "speak in third person day" is a good holiday. Perhaps even the greatest. (Omitting, of course, "ass day" in which everyone draws asses.)
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Nikov

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Re: The Dwarven Poetry Club
« Reply #7 on: May 19, 2010, 08:50:39 am »

And speaking of ass;

Once I spied a dwarven wench
And gave her rump a passing pinch
Her hips did swerve,
Delightful curve!
Beyond my reach a teasing inch!

She served me mead, she served me ale
She served me flesh till moon grew pale
But at first light,
I quaked at sight!
She'd grown more stubble than a male!

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I should probably have my head checked, because I find myself in complete agreement with Nikov.

UnrealJake

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Re: The Dwarven Poetry Club
« Reply #8 on: May 19, 2010, 08:59:53 am »

Ahhh, I once changed "Still Alive" to Dwarven nature, or rather I was going to until someone Elved Ninja'd me, but even that is not good enough for this thread me thinks...
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Huochong sounds like what you hear when a ninja hits somebody with a frying pan.

"HUOOOOOOOOOO-"
*CHONG*

Indricotherium

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Re: The Dwarven Poetry Club
« Reply #9 on: May 19, 2010, 09:51:34 pm »

Aha! That was you, UnrealJake! I saved those off because I thought they were fun and today I massaged the second one further, I don't know if it was yours or the other guys. I'm sure it could be greatly improved further but what the hell, I'm no songwriter, here it is:

This was a triumph
I'm making a note here: Use bauxite
It's hard to overstate the full destruction
Urist McScience
We do these bad things
because it's FUN
For the good of no one else
Except the ones who are dwarfs
But there's no sense crying over every dead elf
You just keep on trying till you get a fey mood
Yes, the shells are right there
For your artifact chair
For the dwarfs who are still alive
I'm not even crazy
I haven't played, DF, that long
Even though it changed my world
And killed me
And set me on !!fire!!
And sent all my !!clothes!! to the stockpile
As they burned it hurt because, I was so happy for you!
Now this cloud of miasma makes a wonderful fort
And we're full of magma
We're releasing on time
So I'm glad it all burned
Think of all the things we learned
for the dwarfs who are still alive
Go ahead and leave me
I think I prefer to stay inside
Maybe you'll find someone else to trade with
Maybe those goblins
THAT WAS A JOKE
HAHA. FAT CHANCE
Anyway, this booze is great
Its so thirst quenching and all
Look at me still talking
When there's levers to pull
When I look out there, it makes me glad I'm not you
I've experiments to run
There is research to be done
On the migrants who are, still alive
And believe me I am still alive
I'm building pump stacks and I'm still alive
I feel ECSTATIC and I'm still alive
And when you're dying I'll be still alive
And when you're dead I will be still alive
STILL ALIVE
STILL ALIVE
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That is a wasteful idea that recklessly endangers life. I applaud your genius!
There are as many ways to play the game as there are socks on a battlefield.

UnrealJake

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Re: The Dwarven Poetry Club
« Reply #10 on: May 20, 2010, 06:52:00 am »

Aha! That was you, UnrealJake! I saved those off because I thought they were fun and today I massaged the second one further, I don't know if it was yours or the other guys. I'm sure it could be greatly improved further but what the hell, I'm no songwriter, here it is:

This was a triumph
I'm making a note here: Use bauxite
It's hard to overstate the full destruction
Urist McScience
We do these bad things
because it's FUN
For the good of no one else
Except the ones who are dwarfs
But there's no sense crying over every dead elf
You just keep on trying till you get a fey mood
Yes, the shells are right there
For your artifact chair
For the dwarfs who are still alive
I'm not even crazy
I haven't played, DF, that long
Even though it changed my world
And killed me
And set me on !!fire!!
And sent all my !!clothes!! to the stockpile
As they burned it hurt because, I was so happy for you!
Now this cloud of miasma makes a wonderful fort
And we're full of magma
We're releasing on time
So I'm glad it all burned
Think of all the things we learned
for the dwarfs who are still alive
Go ahead and leave me
I think I prefer to stay inside
Maybe you'll find someone else to trade with
Maybe those goblins
THAT WAS A JOKE
HAHA. FAT CHANCE
Anyway, this booze is great
Its so thirst quenching and all
Look at me still talking
When there's levers to pull
When I look out there, it makes me glad I'm not you
I've experiments to run
There is research to be done
On the migrants who are, still alive
And believe me I am still alive
I'm building pump stacks and I'm still alive
I feel ECSTATIC and I'm still alive
And when you're dying I'll be still alive
And when you're dead I will be still alive
STILL ALIVE
STILL ALIVE

YOUR FORTRESS HAS CRUMBLED TO AN END

I'd so sing it, but I fear for my own ear drums.
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Huochong sounds like what you hear when a ninja hits somebody with a frying pan.

"HUOOOOOOOOOO-"
*CHONG*

Haspen

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Re: The Dwarven Poetry Club
« Reply #11 on: May 20, 2010, 07:52:23 am »

Just posting here so I will know that such wonderful STILL ALIVE Dwarf exists :P
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UnrealJake

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Re: The Dwarven Poetry Club
« Reply #12 on: May 20, 2010, 11:51:47 am »

A good idea, we need more!

My attempts would be crap though =(
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Huochong sounds like what you hear when a ninja hits somebody with a frying pan.

"HUOOOOOOOOOO-"
*CHONG*

Cespinarve

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Re: The Dwarven Poetry Club
« Reply #13 on: May 20, 2010, 06:00:52 pm »

Ah he hem

Gold Gold Gold Gold Gold
Gold Gold Gold Gold Gold Gold Gold
Gold Gold Gold Gold Gold

Thank you.
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Nice one, not sure when I'll be feeling like killing a baby but these things are good to know.
This is why we can't have nice things... someone will just wind up filling it with corpses.
Arrakis teaches the attitude of the knife — chopping off what's incomplete and saying: "Now it's complete because it's ended here."

Haspen

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Re: The Dwarven Poetry Club
« Reply #14 on: May 21, 2010, 05:02:02 am »

Ah he hem

Socks Socks Socks Socks Socks
Socks Socks Socks Socks Socks Socks Socks
Socks Socks Socks Socks Socks

Thank you.

Fix'd :P
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SigFlags!
Quote from: Draignean@Spamkingdom+
Truly, we have the most uniquely talented spy network in all existence.
Quote from: mightymushroom@Spamkingdom#
Please tell me the Royal Physician didn't go to the same college as the Spymaster.
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