Being in the army is actually really boring. Until you get deployed to war, and then it's a terrible, harrowing experience, and only fools ask to be a part of it.
Here's what your duties will consist of:
- Have discipline drilled into you for about two weeks
- Go to your new home at a military town, engage in standard duties like cleaning and shooting artillery all day, or (if you're lucky enough to have a trade) building things.
- Go to the major armed conflict of your generation. Do and/or see terrible things, laugh at the irony of certain things, may or may not die
- This next part diverges into two paths. I'll start with - Come home emotionally disfigured
- Come home emotionally disfigured
- Spend the next 20 years yelling at your wife and kids
- Convince your wife that you had to kill people during your UN Mission. She will then use this to justify your actions, even though everybody knows there was a no-shoot order and there was only one or two combat operations during the course of the mission. (NOTE: If you DID kill somebody, repeat the last 3 steps but don't tell your wife that you also raped them so you could deal with the trauma)
- Become the Scarborough Rapist
- Become a Serial Killer
- Become Base Commander of CFB Trenton
- Go to jail, attempt suicide with a roll of toilet paper.
- Alternative to the last four steps, cheat on your wife/find out your wife cheated on you consistently while you were overseas when you discover the Tide bottle she used to signal her availability (Military wives place Tide cartons in their windows to signal that they are available for sex while their husbands are away)
If you are not emotionally scarred/you get help and it works, use this instead:
-Get promoted
-Push a pencil around
-Man, this is so exciting.
If you want to join the army to create a stable career for you and your family, I highly advise it. My father is still in the Canadian Forces, and it has been very fulfilling for him. On the other hand, if you're looking for a fun time and an awesome adventure, join Rover Scouts or something. There is no excitement here.
EDIT: We were lucky enough that my dad fell into the second category. He is a carpenter. When they sent him to Afghanistan, he built the Tim Horton's and the Wendy's on the base. The Al Qaeda shot rockets at him every day. They never quite got to the Wendy's, but a rocket landed just outside the doors once.
EDIT2: He wrote a blog while he was there, too. This would have been 2004 or 2005 (maybe 2006). Not sure where the blog is now.
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Topic: Call of Adventure (Read 2467 times)