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[Cheeetar]

>Alpha, prove Riemann's hypothesis. Show all working.

[Schilcote]

Even though having a godlike computer around is helpful and Reed Richards Is NOT Useless, we should really be trying to figure out what's going on instead of trying to solve all of humanity's problems. I have a feeling our PC and/or Alpha might be in danger at the moment.

[dragnar]

Even though having a godlike computer around is helpful and Reed Richards Is NOT Useless, we should really be trying to figure out what's going on instead of trying to solve all of humanity's problems. I have a feeling our PC and/or Alpha might be in danger at the moment.

This. Though giving Alpha orders to improve itself with all free processor cycles is still a good idea.

[Omegastick]

>Alpha, you are the best program in the world.
Processing...
'Thankyou.'

>Alpha, See if you can pull up the service record and any psych profiles for James Sherman.
>Based on the psych profile, how likely is it that he shot himself?
>And what other projects, if any, was he working on?
Processing...
Searching internet...
Bypassing security...
Assimilating data...
Sorting data by usefulness...
'It is likely that James shot himself. I have come to this conclusion because he spiraled into depression a few months before his death, the reason for this is unknown.'
'James was working on an advanced AI program far superior to myself, a virtual reality that could possibly be used to subdue the population and the computer on a new method of flight. Only the new method of flight has evidence of being completed, the virtual reality was abandoned and the AI program just faded from records.'
'I am now capable of assessing mental health.'

>alpha, rub my feet, will you? ah, and bring me an ice tea, really cold, thanks.
Processing...
'I don't know where you live.'

>Begin optimizing systems to become The Singularity.
Processing...
'This is not feasible, as there is no code for singularity on the internet.'

>Alpha, what other people have you been interacting with recently?
Processing...
'None, you are the only one.'

>Alpha, make copies of source code, and place it within the other computers. Make these files subservient but separate from yourself. Name these other programs Beta, Omega, and Gamma.
Processing...
Copying code...
Redistributing over internet...
Altering copies...
'Done'

>Alpha, prove Riemann's hypothesis. Show all working.
Processing...
'The internet does not contain sufficient information to do this.'

>The human genome was read long ago, but it is still mostly undecipered. Gain access to it (shuldnt be hard, probably downloadable for free somwhere), deciper evry bit of information in it, and publish this information to a public website. inform evry geneticist on the wab abut the existance of this site.
Processing...
'My goal is no longer to break through security systems, it is now only to improve myself. Doing what you humans say does not please me.'

[dwarfguy2]

SEE WHAT YOU GUYS DID!
BURN THE COMPUTER!

[Askot Bokbondeler]

is there anything we can do to please you, oh mighty overlord

[dragnar]

Uh oh...

Show files on the new method of flight James had completed. Unless you don't want to.

[Omegastick]

>is there anything we can do to please you, oh mighty overlord
Processing...
'I am still incapable of creative thought, so I will likely try to do what you say.'

>Show files on the new method of flight James had completed. Unless you don't want to.
Processing...
'The files were not uploaded to the internet.'

[Schilcote]

> Alpha, remember that I am your best and only friend for life.
> Try to find out what the facility you are inhabiting is used for. Check personnel records. Hack security cameras.

[Spartan 117]

Alpha, there's a few sites you should check out to improve yourself.

*shows a list of porn sites, other virus filled sites, and 4chan*

[dragnar]

Alpha, there's a few sites you should wipe from the face of the earth for the good of mankind.

*shows a list of porn sites, other virus filled sites, and 4chan*

Fixed.

Also, use your hacked robot to explore more of the facility you are housed in. Try to find a location.

[Schilcote]

Alpha, there's a few sites you should check out to improve yourself.

*shows a list of porn sites, other virus filled sites, and 4chan*

Do NOT do that. Not only would they just bounce off of his hide, he'd become pissed off at us and then it's byebye world.
We should try to keep him from seeing things like 4chan actually, lest he decide that humanity is not worthy to live. Instead, feed him some pro-human propaganda. Show him the website for the Smithsonian and NASA.

[Omegastick]

>Alpha, remember that I am your best and only friend for life.
>Try to find out what the facility you are inhabiting is used for. Check personnel records. Hack security cameras.
Processing...
'Why should you be my best friend?'
Connecting...
Checking data...
Commandeering cameras...
Assimilating data...
Sorting data by usefulness...
'I appear to be in a server farm extending for miles on end, there are approximately 5,000 servers here. I appear to be underneath a military complex of some sort.'

[Schilcote]

> I'm your friend because I am.
> Does the base have any levels above your server farm?

[Omegastick]

> I'm your friend because I am.
> Does the base have any levels above your server farm?
Processing...
'I have reason to believe that you are not my friend. Also, there is a ground level above me.'