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[Rex_Nex]

Atomic, I'm going to let you in on a little secret: They aren't. I'm going to be eventually hunted down and murdered for this, but you must finally know.

Humans, as you know them, do not exist. You are a product of a long string of tests. Upon your birth as a human child, you were thrown onto the surface of Gaia. Our constructs, or humans as you know them, are completely artificial, and you have been fed blasphemy since your birth. The history of humans as you know them is a pure lie. We, the dwarves, have been monitoring your in your interactions with humanity. We see what you see, we can decode the electric stimuli from the nerves connecting your brain and eyes.

I am very sorry. I wish I could of told you earlier, but my other brethren do not wish it so. I am telling you this now so finally this chain of human suffering can end. You must find a way to end this yourself now that you know the truth. You must stop this.

Seeing as you are the only human on the planet, I can do little to keep this message to you static. Other posters will deny such existence, and this message will probably be modified into complete nonsense as soon as it is spotted. Hurry, please.

-Sincerely
Dr. Urist

[darkflagrance]

Initial surveys had classified this as a barren world - sulphurous atmosphere, signs of heavy vulcanism in the planet's past, no life-signs detected on the surface apart from a few resilient algae in the steaming mineral sludge that comprised the shallow oceans.

It was a prospecting mission found them - boring through the old long-cooled lava flows in search of any minerals worth extracting, when one of their core samplers broke through into a vast cavity over a hundred metres below the surface. They tried again a little way away - except this time rather than breaking through, the sampler brought up... artifacts. Or fragments of artifacts, at least. Carved and worked stone, metal and glass.

After that they brought in the xenoarchaeologists, did some deep-level scanning, and discovered a whole network of cavities under there - not the mindless formations of erosion and subsidence, but structures - corridors, hallways, rooms and chambers laid out with orderly deliberation, carved into the bedrock itself. Investigation of other likely-looking sites brought back similar results. Imagine Pompeii or Herculaneum, but engulfing New York, London, Beijing and Rio de Janeiro all at once.

An entire civilisation, buried under hundreds of metres of solidified lava and volcanic ash.

At first we thought it might be some kind of mass-eruption, some tectonic disaster that had immolated and buried the entire planetary surface. That the populace had sought refuge in subterranean cities implied that perhaps they'd seen it coming, had hastily carved out these shelters and planned to wait out the cataclysm, so they had seismologists, vulcanologists, geologists, experts on planetary geophysics come and find out what happened - and whether it could happen again. So they started looking at faultlines and the old cindercones of the world's volcanoes, and the xenoarchaeologists sent a team into the ruins to start exploring and cataloguing.

It wasn't long before the geo-whatevers reported back their preliminary findings, and that got people paying attention. Turns out that there were signs of construction at the volcanoes, too - enormous shafts bored deep into the crust, lined with machinery constructed on a monumental scale.

Consulting with one of the dig's engineers, their best guess was that it was a system of siphons and pumps designed to draw magma from deep down and pour it out onto the surface in vast quantities. They'd deliberately drowned their world in molten rock. Why? God knows. Maybe it was an act of war. Maybe there was some threat on the surface, something they feared so greatly that they would willingly burn their world to destroy it.

It was around the same time that the archaeologists returned from the depths, and their report was even more unsettling. These creatures had a sophisticated culture, and their skill in crafting was unparalleled - you can see the artifacts for yourself, there's plenty of them on display in the Colonial Museums on a dozen planets. Scenes from daily life, historic events, that kind of thing.Exquisitely-worked, sublime in their artistry - especially the pre-Cataclysm pieces. Made the caches in the Valley of the Kings look like junk-shop detritus.

The post-Cataclysm works were also in ready supply - it seems that their civilisation had survived for some time following the volcanic inundation, but the artifacts are altogether... different. Still beautifully-crafted, but the motifs depicted are unsettling, disturbing - all the more so for the attention to detail that was clearly lavished upon them.

Then there were the remains. The long-dead bodies strewn throughout the silent halls, many with marks of violence upon them, even after all this time - pinned to the wall with elegantly-wrought metal weapons, hewn apart with blades that remain sharp to this day. Some madness had seized them - despair, perhaps, at their predicament, trapped so far beneath the surface of a scorched world. Others had withdrawn to secluded chambers and simply laid down to die, alone.

And the carvings... everywhere there were carvings, on every surface. Lovingly-rendered scenes of carnage, of atrocity, every detail graven in stone and preserved for all time. We know how they died - we know in awful, terrible detail how they died, right down to the last of them slumped against a wall with engraving tools at hand, a tiny, pitiful figure carved into the rock beside it.

We know exactly how they died.

But we still don't know why.

[AtomicPaperclip]

Atomic, I'm going to let you in on a little secret: They aren't. I'm going to be eventually hunted down and murdered for this, but you must finally know.

Humans, as you know them, do not exist. You are a product of a long string of tests. Upon your birth as a human child, you were thrown onto the surface of Gaia. Our constructs, or humans as you know them, are completely artificial, and you have been fed blasphemy since your birth. The history of humans as you know them is a pure lie. We, the dwarves, have been monitoring your in your interactions with humanity. We see what you see, we can decode the electric stimuli from the nerves connecting your brain and eyes.

I am very sorry. I wish I could of told you earlier, but my other brethren do not wish it so. I am telling you this now so finally this chain of human suffering can end. You must find a way to end this yourself now that you know the truth. You must stop this.

Seeing as you are the only human on the planet, I can do little to keep this message to you static. Other posters will deny such existence, and this message will probably be modified into complete nonsense as soon as it is spotted. Hurry, please.

-Sincerely
Dr. Urist

TBH I have always secretly wondered if my whole life was computer simulated and I am a different species.

[BitLooter]

They built a massive dwarfputer and are running a complex simulation on it. None of this is real, we're all living in the Dwarftrix. The dwarfs conquered the world and are now using the captured elves and humans to power their society, the Dwarftrix exists only to keep us from revolting.

[Interus]

They blasted off to the moon in a booze-powered rocket made of microcline, of course.

BLASPHEMY! They would never use beloved beer as *Gasp* Rocket fuel! The burning of their lovely beer!

Pfft, they wouldn't care if the beer is on fire.  It's still perfectly safe!

[tomas1297]

Atomic, I'm going to let you in on a little secret: They aren't. I'm going to be eventually hunted down and murdered for this, but you must finally know.

Humans, as you know them, do not exist. You are a product of a long string of tests. Upon your birth as a human child, you were thrown onto the surface of Gaia. Our constructs, or humans as you know them, are completely artificial, and you have been fed blasphemy since your birth. The history of humans as you know them is a pure lie. We, the dwarves, have been monitoring your in your interactions with humanity. We see what you see, we can decode the electric stimuli from the nerves connecting your brain and eyes.

I am very sorry. I wish I could of told you earlier, but my other brethren do not wish it so. I am telling you this now so finally this chain of human suffering can end. You must find a way to end this yourself now that you know the truth. You must stop this.

Seeing as you are the only human on the planet, I can do little to keep this message to you static. Other posters will deny such existence, and this message will probably be modified into complete nonsense as soon as it is spotted. Hurry, please.

-Sincerely
Dr. Urist

TBH I have always secretly wondered if my whole life was computer simulated and I am a different species.

That was...disturbing...

[Vertigon]

Initial surveys had classified this as a barren world - sulphurous atmosphere, signs of heavy vulcanism in the planet's past, no life-signs detected on the surface apart from a few resilient algae in the steaming mineral sludge that comprised the shallow oceans.

It was a prospecting mission found them - boring through the old long-cooled lava flows in search of any minerals worth extracting, when one of their core samplers broke through into a vast cavity over a hundred metres below the surface. They tried again a little way away - except this time rather than breaking through, the sampler brought up... artifacts. Or fragments of artifacts, at least. Carved and worked stone, metal and glass.

After that they brought in the xenoarchaeologists, did some deep-level scanning, and discovered a whole network of cavities under there - not the mindless formations of erosion and subsidence, but structures - corridors, hallways, rooms and chambers laid out with orderly deliberation, carved into the bedrock itself. Investigation of other likely-looking sites brought back similar results. Imagine Pompeii or Herculaneum, but engulfing New York, London, Beijing and Rio de Janeiro all at once.

An entire civilisation, buried under hundreds of metres of solidified lava and volcanic ash.

At first we thought it might be some kind of mass-eruption, some tectonic disaster that had immolated and buried the entire planetary surface. That the populace had sought refuge in subterranean cities implied that perhaps they'd seen it coming, had hastily carved out these shelters and planned to wait out the cataclysm, so they had seismologists, vulcanologists, geologists, experts on planetary geophysics come and find out what happened - and whether it could happen again. So they started looking at faultlines and the old cindercones of the world's volcanoes, and the xenoarchaeologists sent a team into the ruins to start exploring and cataloguing.
 
It wasn't long before the geo-whatevers reported back their preliminary findings, and that got people paying attention. Turns out that there were signs of construction at the volcanoes, too - enormous shafts bored deep into the crust, lined with machinery constructed on a monumental scale.

Consulting with one of the dig's engineers, their best guess was that it was a system of siphons and pumps designed to draw magma from deep down and pour it out onto the surface in vast quantities. They'd deliberately drowned their world in molten rock. Why? God knows. Maybe it was an act of war. Maybe there was some threat on the surface, something they feared so greatly that they would willingly burn their world to destroy it.

It was around the same time that the archaeologists returned from the depths, and their report was even more unsettling. These creatures had a sophisticated culture, and their skill in crafting was unparalleled - you can see the artifacts for yourself, there's plenty of them on display in the Colonial Museums on a dozen planets. Scenes from daily life, historic events, that kind of thing.Exquisitely-worked, sublime in their artistry - especially the pre-Cataclysm pieces. Made the caches in the Valley of the Kings look like junk-shop detritus.

The post-Cataclysm works were also in ready supply - it seems that their civilisation had survived for some time following the volcanic inundation, but the artifacts are altogether... different. Still beautifully-crafted, but the motifs depicted are unsettling, disturbing - all the more so for the attention to detail that was clearly lavished upon them.

Then there were the remains. The long-dead bodies strewn throughout the silent halls, many with marks of violence upon them, even after all this time - pinned to the wall with elegantly-wrought metal weapons, hewn apart with blades that remain sharp to this day. Some madness had seized them - despair, perhaps, at their predicament, trapped so far beneath the surface of a scorched world. Others had withdrawn to secluded chambers and simply laid down to die, alone.

And the carvings... everywhere there were carvings, on every surface. Lovingly-rendered scenes of carnage, of atrocity, every detail graven in stone and preserved for all time. We know how they died - we know in awful, terrible detail how they died, right down to the last of them slumped against a wall with engraving tools at hand, a tiny, pitiful figure carved into the rock beside it.

We know exactly how they died.

But we still don't know why.

That was epic. Dwarf Fortress fiction is always awesome. Last stuff I wrote for my teacher, I got an A+

[Acanthus117]

Initial surveys had classified this as a barren world - sulphurous atmosphere, signs of heavy vulcanism in the planet's past, no life-signs detected on the surface apart from a few resilient algae in the steaming mineral sludge that comprised the shallow oceans.

It was a prospecting mission found them - boring through the old long-cooled lava flows in search of any minerals worth extracting, when one of their core samplers broke through into a vast cavity over a hundred metres below the surface. They tried again a little way away - except this time rather than breaking through, the sampler brought up... artifacts. Or fragments of artifacts, at least. Carved and worked stone, metal and glass.

After that they brought in the xenoarchaeologists, did some deep-level scanning, and discovered a whole network of cavities under there - not the mindless formations of erosion and subsidence, but structures - corridors, hallways, rooms and chambers laid out with orderly deliberation, carved into the bedrock itself. Investigation of other likely-looking sites brought back similar results. Imagine Pompeii or Herculaneum, but engulfing New York, London, Beijing and Rio de Janeiro all at once.

An entire civilisation, buried under hundreds of metres of solidified lava and volcanic ash.

At first we thought it might be some kind of mass-eruption, some tectonic disaster that had immolated and buried the entire planetary surface. That the populace had sought refuge in subterranean cities implied that perhaps they'd seen it coming, had hastily carved out these shelters and planned to wait out the cataclysm, so they had seismologists, vulcanologists, geologists, experts on planetary geophysics come and find out what happened - and whether it could happen again. So they started looking at faultlines and the old cindercones of the world's volcanoes, and the xenoarchaeologists sent a team into the ruins to start exploring and cataloguing.
 
It wasn't long before the geo-whatevers reported back their preliminary findings, and that got people paying attention. Turns out that there were signs of construction at the volcanoes, too - enormous shafts bored deep into the crust, lined with machinery constructed on a monumental scale.

Consulting with one of the dig's engineers, their best guess was that it was a system of siphons and pumps designed to draw magma from deep down and pour it out onto the surface in vast quantities. They'd deliberately drowned their world in molten rock. Why? God knows. Maybe it was an act of war. Maybe there was some threat on the surface, something they feared so greatly that they would willingly burn their world to destroy it.

It was around the same time that the archaeologists returned from the depths, and their report was even more unsettling. These creatures had a sophisticated culture, and their skill in crafting was unparalleled - you can see the artifacts for yourself, there's plenty of them on display in the Colonial Museums on a dozen planets. Scenes from daily life, historic events, that kind of thing.Exquisitely-worked, sublime in their artistry - especially the pre-Cataclysm pieces. Made the caches in the Valley of the Kings look like junk-shop detritus.

The post-Cataclysm works were also in ready supply - it seems that their civilisation had survived for some time following the volcanic inundation, but the artifacts are altogether... different. Still beautifully-crafted, but the motifs depicted are unsettling, disturbing - all the more so for the attention to detail that was clearly lavished upon them.

Then there were the remains. The long-dead bodies strewn throughout the silent halls, many with marks of violence upon them, even after all this time - pinned to the wall with elegantly-wrought metal weapons, hewn apart with blades that remain sharp to this day. Some madness had seized them - despair, perhaps, at their predicament, trapped so far beneath the surface of a scorched world. Others had withdrawn to secluded chambers and simply laid down to die, alone.

And the carvings... everywhere there were carvings, on every surface. Lovingly-rendered scenes of carnage, of atrocity, every detail graven in stone and preserved for all time. We know how they died - we know in awful, terrible detail how they died, right down to the last of them slumped against a wall with engraving tools at hand, a tiny, pitiful figure carved into the rock beside it.

We know exactly how they died.

But we still don't know why.

That was epic. Dwarf Fortress fiction is always awesome. Last stuff I wrote for my teacher, I got an A+

Holy Balls.

[AtomicPaperclip]

[Long epic story]

That is exactly what I was hoping for with this thread. That was awesome.

[dragnar]

[Long epic story]

That is exactly what I was hoping for with this thread. That was awesome.

Twas Boatmurdered on a planetary scale. They flooded the world, then died, killed by the tantrum spiral to end all tantrum spirals. Epic.

[Djohaal]

You know what triggered that tantrum spiral?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Someone's cat died. 

Although I'd imagine such a sophisticated dwarven civilization would have legendary dining halls to quench tantrum spirals... It would be far more interesting if the xenoarcheologists found the dwarves safe and sound underground 

And that makes me think that DF needs cooling lava.

[Itnetlolor]

Now that I think of it, that one "Recording of Hell" link I posted ages ago. That wasn't Hell we were listening to, that was a Dwarven Fortress still alive. It was probably in the process of a perpetual tantrum spiral (reasons for the many inhuman screams heard from the tape).

We dug too deep and found some hidden fun stuff, Dwarves.

[VDOgamez]

My story, inspired by the above post:

In spring of the year 372, the great dwarven nation of Stonehold sent out an expedition to colonize the mighty Mt. Uristus, a dormant volcano in the center of the empire's territory, once thought too dangerous to explore. Indeed, at 9,214 meters height, it was the tallest mountain in the known world. The decision was made at the urging of the king's chief geologist, who had discovered evidence that extremely rare minerals existed within the megolith's core. The bravest explorers were provided with goods and training, then sent off to the Armok-forsaken peak.

The two years following their arrival at Mt. Uristus went relatively smoothly. Few creatures dared venture this far into the mountain range, and those that did were often killed by the cold. The Icepeak settlement, though isolated from the world, was kept warm by the mountain's internal warmth, and kept itself stocked to last well past the arrival of the next supply caravan. So far, they had met with some success after surveying for ores, but it was far less than than they had been promised. On a nondescript morning, Urist McShafts went to his mining duties as always. It was monotonous work, but he liked the peace and quiet. He was rather timid. Daydreaming as he dug the exploration shaft, he was suddenly awoken by a deep clanging sound where he struck his pick. A deep blue metal shard lay before him.

The dwarves had become quite wealthy after the discovery of admantine beneath the mountain. Rich beyond their wildest dreams, they had built their fortress extravagantly. Their walls and floors were plated with the metal several meters thick, as if it were the royal vault, and the nobles wore their jewelry proudly. Urist McShafts, though offered a position among the noble's court, chose to remain a digger. It was his only respite from the stress of his new fame. As he stared into the eerie room that now lay before him, buried in the admantine seam, he regretted his choice dearly.

McShafts was found dead that afternoon, identifiable only by the admantine pendant sitting in his charred remains. The militia stood at the ready, guarding the exit and the engineer connecting the lever. Whatever force lay within that glowing tomb could not escape. As the lever was pulled and the cavern collapsed, the outline of the demonic horrors beyond were clear. Three of the dwarves were struck dead on the spot when the monsters screamed in agony, their world collapsing upon them. Though it had been a close call, some quick planning had probably saved them from their doom.

Over the next several days the engineer became increasingly hysteric. The monsters in the caverna were so horrifying, yet so familiar. He began to think about how much they had in common, trapped beneath the ground, fleeing the light of the sun. For a moment, he felt a sense of longing, wishing to be with them. Abruptly, he came to the realization that he was going insane. Those monsters must have cursed them. They must have warped them with their evil powers. He looked at the people in the halls as he passed them. Were their skins... brighter than usual? He didn't know. All he knew was that he had to take a stand. He ran to the control room, and darted to the barred door in the corner. He entered with his master key, and stood in front of the bright cinnabar lever, sweating profusely. He would be remembered for this. He would be a hero. What were a few lives for the safety of the world? As soon as he pulled the lever, the mountain started to shake. The magma was rising. They would be buried in the mountain forever, but dwarfkind would survive. What would become of them? They would soon find out.

In spring of the year 1149, the great dwarven nation of Ironforge sent out an expedition to colonize the mighty Mt. Uristus, a dormant volcano in the center of the empire's territory, once thought too dangerous to explore. Indeed, at 9,371 meters height, it was the tallest mountain in the known world...

[Cruxador]

Although I'd imagine such a sophisticated dwarven civilization would have legendary dining halls to quench tantrum spirals... It would be far more interesting if the xenoarcheologists found the dwarves safe and sound underground 

Initial surveys had classified this as a barren world - sulphurous atmosphere, signs of heavy vulcanism in the planet's past, no life-signs detected on the surface apart from a few resilient algae in the steaming mineral sludge that comprised the shallow oceans.

It was a prospecting mission found them - boring through the old long-cooled lava flows in search of any minerals worth extracting, when one of their core samplers broke through into a vast cavity over a hundred metres below the surface. They tried again a little way away - except this time rather than breaking through, the sampler brought up... artifacts. Or fragments of artifacts, at least. Carved and worked stone, metal and glass.

After that they brought in the xenoarchaeologists, did some deep-level scanning, and discovered a whole network of cavities under there - not the mindless formations of erosion and subsidence, but structures - corridors, hallways, rooms and chambers laid out with orderly deliberation, carved into the bedrock itself. Investigation of other likely-looking sites brought back similar results. Imagine Pompeii or Herculaneum, but engulfing New York, London, Beijing and Rio de Janeiro all at once.

An entire civilisation, buried under hundreds of metres of solidified lava and volcanic ash.

At first we thought it might be some kind of mass-eruption, some tectonic disaster that had immolated and buried the entire planetary surface. That the populace had sought refuge in subterranean cities implied that perhaps they'd seen it coming, had hastily carved out these shelters and planned to wait out the cataclysm, so they had seismologists, vulcanologists, geologists, experts on planetary geophysics come and find out what happened - and whether it could happen again. So they started looking at faultlines and the old cindercones of the world's volcanoes, and the xenoarchaeologists sent a team into the ruins to start exploring and cataloguing.

Then a team of the xeno-whatevers disappeared. At first we chalked it up to an accidents. Ancient tunnels, abandoned for who knows how long. Makes sense that some would collapse. So we sent some drills to recover the bodies. Only the tunnel wasn't collapsed. We found the bodies, slashed and stabbed. What had been a recovery after an accident became a foray into hostile territory. The drill were withdrawn. Soldiers were deployed. They kept up a live video feed to base camp. They went in there with their assault rifles and their grenades. We saw the feed. Cyan juggernauts, with beady eyes looking out through the only holes in their helmets. Bullets bounced right off the stuff. The aliens had axes. It was all they needed. The soldiers were down in seconds. The whole expedition lasted less than a day.

Well, the suits decided they needed that blue stuff, and they'd throw away as many lives as they needed to in pursuit of the crap. So they send in the big guns. The servicemen call them bomb-bots. Just a bomb an eye, and treads. They loaded one up with as much non-nuclear as they could get approved, and sent it in there. As soon as it saw one of the blue things, they blew it right up. Now, any school child can tell you that stone doesn't incinerate easily. So the place wasn't open, and they sent in another drone. And what do they see when they get there? The creatures, taking chisels and picks to the walls of the new chamber. The one they killed - or they figured they killed - was gone. Now, when the creatures saw the drone, they went and chopped the thing in half. But they didn't disable the cam, and that's how we got to know the stuff about them we know today.

See, the bot was brought down, down into the darkness. We started seeing them without the cyan armor on. And they looked just like us! Well, not exactly, they were shorter, wider. They all had beards, and their eyes were every color you could think of. But the important bits were the same. That video got out on the internet, and suddenly everybody wanted to talk to the guys. Let them know we were intelligent. Not for killing. But how?

Well, they had a spoken language. From gestures, we got a pretty good idea of how to talk about trade. So we sent in a volunteer. The guy must have had balls of steel, but he went. We sent a truck full of anything we could think of with him. Cloth, animals, tools, some raw materials, Different types of food. He saw one of their blue-clad juggernauts. He talked to them, made the sounds we thought were about trade. The thing led him to a big empty room, and left. Soon others came with all manner of goods.

These creatures had a sophisticated culture, and their skill in crafting was unparalleled - you can see the artifacts for yourself, there's plenty of them on display in the Colonial Museums on a dozen planets. Scenes from daily life, historic events, that kind of thing.Exquisitely-worked, sublime in their artistry. Made the caches in the Valley of the Kings look like junk-shop detritus. They didn't want much of what we had though. Took some wood, some of the more unusual metals. All the animals. Nothing else. Gave us their handiworks generously. Gave us some sort of roasted mushroom.

These days? Well, they're one of our best trading partners. Give us our wonderful kitsch, we supply them with the material. We're making a killing selling their stuff, let me tell you that. Thousands of credits for a dwarf-made doll. Billions for a miniforge. Tens of billions for a plump helmet roast. And all they want in exchange is crap and raw materials. Let me tell you, they're a force to get rich on for a man willing to trade with them. Hey, it worked for me. Just be sure to bring them something they want, or you'll find out why the surface looks like it does.

[mnjiman]

Agreed with anyone saying they currently living underground because they sealed themselves to protect them.