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Author Topic: Why did the dwarves go extinct?  (Read 3260 times)

AtomicPaperclip

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Why did the dwarves go extinct?
« on: May 14, 2010, 05:58:19 pm »

We all know that the Great Dwarven Empire disappeared around the year 1400 A.D. Even though it is recent compared to ancient civilizations such as the Maya, it is very difficult to pinpoint an exact date due to the hidden locations of their dwellings, and almost all of them have suffered from numerous cave-ins or are submerged in magma.

Theoretically after eradicating their elven rivals and the surrender of the Goblin Empire to the Humans around 1150 A.D., they should have been free to develop new technologies in peace with little interference.

Some scholars suggest that earthquakes and movement of tectonic plates caused massive cave-ins and magma flow, which resulted in what we find today.

Others reject this theory and claim that civil war broke out between the Great Dwarven Empire, and a new schism. These two groups sent ambush parties to destroy vital components of each fort. Each party was successful, and there were too few dwarves remaining to recover.

However, some more radical historians suggest that it was simply the dwarven nature that led to their demise. Egyptian hieroglyphs show dwarves creating an above-ground megafortress made entirely of cesium, before redirecting the Nile river into its center. Events such as these had created catastrophic losses of population. Roman traders documented that after the untimely death of a domestic animal, dwarves would often burst into a violent rage. These mood swings were said to be infectious, and the Romans were forced out of the mountains dodging large furniture.

One new theory is that the Dwarves had dug into the sea-floor and created a large flood.

Any other theories?
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Capntastic

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Re: Why did the dwarves go extinct?
« Reply #1 on: May 14, 2010, 06:02:22 pm »

Yeah I've got a theory, about magic and miracles.   If magic is all we've ever know, then it's easy to miss what really goes on.
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b1gb0y2013

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Re: Why did the dwarves go extinct?
« Reply #2 on: May 14, 2010, 06:29:24 pm »

They decided to make a giant brewery, using pumps to bring booze to a giant underground lake, which there was a leak and they accidentally pulled a lever to close the hatch to the outside world, and they all drowned in booze and wine.
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Kidiri

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Re: Why did the dwarves go extinct?
« Reply #3 on: May 14, 2010, 07:00:12 pm »

A tantrumming dwarf pulled a lever.
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Re: Why did the dwarves go extinct?
« Reply #4 on: May 14, 2010, 07:07:03 pm »

Maybe Another Good Mining Accident. We may never know.
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IronyOwl

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Re: Why did the dwarves go extinct?
« Reply #5 on: May 14, 2010, 08:36:43 pm »

As with all good "accidents," things went almost according to plan.
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Cruxador

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Re: Why did the dwarves go extinct?
« Reply #6 on: May 14, 2010, 11:03:19 pm »

They didn't go extinct, they just sealed their forts up.
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AtomicPaperclip

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Re: Why did the dwarves go extinct?
« Reply #7 on: May 14, 2010, 11:23:24 pm »

They didn't go extinct, they just sealed their forts up.

That is a scary thought.

Haiti anyone?
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Re: Why did the dwarves go extinct?
« Reply #8 on: May 15, 2010, 10:30:58 pm »

After a long slow decline brought on by the rise of the humans, all remaining dwarves migrated to a great mountainhome in Kyrgyzstan. The intention was to create a settlement in which dwarven children weren't stolen to goblin slavery or killed by stray elf arrows. The nuclear buildup of the last half century has caused a great stir in the sleeping dwarven masses, and they anticipate re-emerging should a nuclear apocalypse occur. For this reason some dwarven scientists are assisting terrorists with tunnel networks and Kim Jong Il in his nuclear program, hoping to trigger the 'nuke the world' mechanism we humans have built.
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Greiger

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Re: Why did the dwarves go extinct?
« Reply #9 on: May 15, 2010, 10:44:59 pm »

I always thought it was because a groundhog left the map with a masterwork bolt, before the fix, causing the metalsmith to go berserk and trigger a civilization wide tantrum spiral that left only the rare deep dwarves that occasionally blow up an oil derrick, or trap miners out of spite against the humans having stopped bringing caravans, and the dwarves from the dwarven space program that built Cydonia on mars, and occasionally send down a metal wagon to collect livestock while leaving odd little symbols in longland grass fields and watch the humans try to puzzle meaning out of them.
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Itnetlolor

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Re: Why did the dwarves go extinct?
« Reply #10 on: May 15, 2010, 10:56:05 pm »

They're not extinct, they're waiting for 2012 to dig deeper and unleash fun unto the surface.

Djohaal

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Re: Why did the dwarves go extinct?
« Reply #11 on: May 15, 2010, 10:59:06 pm »

They didn't go extinct, they just sealed their forts up.

That is a scary thought.

Haiti anyone?

Exactally. They just sealed themselves up and are creating a vast underground network of fortresses that spans the oceans and continents. Earthquakes happen when a particullary old or badly-mantained portion of the grand undercity crumbles or gets flooded with magma. However the dwarven civilization is mighty and still thrives, they control the eruption of volcanoes and are amassing an army of billions that, once the wealth of the underground is over, shall surface and destroy humanity, so they may have enough wheat to fuel their great beership and leave to a new world to dig and prosper.
And earth is just a link in the chain that not even the elders or the inscriptions on their most ancient artifact know when or where it all began.
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I really want that one as a "when". I want "grubs", and "virgin woman" to turn into a dragon. and monkey children to suddenly sprout wings. And I want the Dwarven Mutant Academy to only gain their powers upon reaching puberty. I also have a whole host of odd creatures that only make sense if I divide them into children and adults.

Also, tadpoles.

b1gb0y2013

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Re: Why did the dwarves go extinct?
« Reply #12 on: May 15, 2010, 11:39:01 pm »

They are waiting underground for 2012... The year we humans finally create the "Perfect Booze", and they will come up, kill us all and claim it all as their own creation.
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Foxbyte

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Re: Why did the dwarves go extinct?
« Reply #13 on: May 15, 2010, 11:40:25 pm »

They blasted off to the moon in a booze-powered rocket made of microcline, of course.
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There is an engraving of three dwarves in a dining room. The third dwarf is a soaper.

b1gb0y2013

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Re: Why did the dwarves go extinct?
« Reply #14 on: May 15, 2010, 11:41:33 pm »

They blasted off to the moon in a booze-powered rocket made of microcline, of course.
BLASPHEMY! They would never use beloved beer as *Gasp* Rocket fuel! The burning of their lovely beer!
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