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[r3d5kull]

Hell yes! Go fucking himmler. Give her a bad ass office

[Dbuhos]

Hahaha, yes yes

[CognitiveDissonance]

CognitiveDissonance cancels Dwarf Fortress: Real Life

Game will resume tomorrow, and may feature new, better writing!

[CognitiveDissonance]

Immigrants have arrived! Check the original post for new dwarves. Also, dwarfed!
C.D. is awkward and annoying to type. I shall now be Cogdi!

/////

The fortress Orbrushed, Hematite 351

"Calm Orb Dwarves would never settle in a horrid place like this. Have you seen the cliffs?"
"What cliffs?" muttered Cognate McAwesomeBridge. The immigrants were beginning to get on his nerves.
"That's what I'm talking about! NO CLIFFS!" persisted the obstinate dwarf. Soap Maker by trade, Cognate recalled. Usually, the most harmless. Still.
"Shut it, and follow. Those are Her Lowness' orders, and even a fool like C.D. cannot screw this up. Now shut it before I shut you."

What was it Her Lowness was planning for this place? She called it a sliver barb farm of course, something so innocent. But why send dwarves into haunted flatlands? She certainly had some darker plans for this place, and Cognate would be the one to discover it. It took all his skill to be designated as the settlement's sheriff, but he knew how to play the nobles. Just give them something they like, and you can mold them like claystone.

"I'm telling you, there's nothing here but dead trees, dead shrubs, and dead animals. What ARE those animals anyways?" whined the Soap Maker.
The trapper stopped, and stared at the dead animal "Oh I know this one. It is a... a.... REALLY big dead rat!"
This was too much. Cognate was about to spin around and yell at the trapper, when he spotted movement.
"Everyone, freeze. We may be in trouble."

As Cognate peered out of the thick, brittle dead grass, he saw... a dwarf! He no... she was methodically walking around, picking up some wilted shrubs from the ground.
"Pssst, is it a REALLY big rat?" it was the trapper, bright-eyed with excitement. He stared right at Cognate.
"No, no... It's a..." started Cognate. "Bah, lemme see" - The trapper lunged forward, tripping over his own legs and making a very loud *thud*

The other dwarf called out "Hello? Are you a dead groundhog? Don't kill me! It's not done yet!" and started running away.

Cursing all, Cognate called out, explaining who they were. Apparently, they have arrived.

/////////////////////////

C.D. wasn't sure what to think of this one. He was a sheriff, apparently - positioned here by Her Lowness herself to keep peace over the fort. He seemed very honest and eager to get to work... but something was off. He was like a predator, watching C.D.'s every move. But, he seemed to also keep a journal with him, scribbling notes. Surely already planning ways to secure the fortress better, keep order, and just overall improve the fort.

Now, ALL Cogdi had to do is sort out the rest. Not very useful at first glance, but SURELY he could put them to work...

/////////////////////////

LordSlowpoke was really beginning to hate this place. Just recently, three more skeletal groundhogs clawed their way out of the ground, and he barely escaped. Thank god for Himmel's constant presence, as he surely felt that Himmel's axe, well crafted by Arni, has demolished yet another group of monsters that were after him.

It was okay now, though. Himmel scowled at him for awhile, and then talked Cogdi into assigning the fortress' guard dog to him. He'll surely be fine now! If nothing else, his (Pig Tail Fiber Cloak) has kept him safe and safe so far. With those two, he'll be fine.



/////////////////////////

The Fortress Orbrushed, Limestone, 351

Snakebriggade knocked on the stone again. "I'm telling you, it's hollow on the other side."
Several other dwarves gathered nearby, amongst them Himmel with his axe - still sharp despite having felled whole fifteen skeletal groundhogs; Cognate McAwesomeBridge with his journal out; Cogdi himself, looking cautiously, and some of the newer arrivals.
Snakebriggade sniffed the rock loudly and slowly, and nodded to himself. "It's a cave."
"How can you tell?", asked Cogdi incrediously, "can you smell the open air, or what?"
Snakebriggade shook his head "nope, there's a pig tail poking out of here. They grow in caves."

They broke the wall down, and while Snakebriggade finalized the tunnel, the rest peeked inside carefully.



And it was something to behold! A tall cave ceiling almost out of view, a splendid slowly roiling cave lake, towering fungiwood and tower-caps and bushes underfoot. On left, there was an open vent with magma boiling a bit below.
"Hey, what's that?" peeped the trapper "Are those fish bones?"
Himmler shoved her aside "Are you daft? Have you not noticed what bones tend to do around here?"
"Watch this"

Himmler walked up to the bone pile, which was larger up close. It had a bony beak, and some thin tentacle-like bones. Obligingly, as Himmler hefted her axe and stomped the ground, it rapidly perked up, apparently a whole skeletal Pond Grabber, and jumped at his head. Himmler obliged, hitting it with the axe and shattering it into tiny bones.

"Okay, now it's safe. I bet you though, there are more of those in those waters. This place is cursed by Armok, and it's up to me to clean it up y'know."

Cogdi kicked a twitching bony tentacle, which was slowly creeping towards him. "Right. Well, let's secure this. Himmler and Cognate McAwesomeBridge, you know this better than me. Could you figure this out?"

As the two stared at each other, Cogni hurried out. He simply didn't have the stomach for those things. What other surprises did this place hold?

////////////////////////

The Fortress Orbrushed, Sandstone 351

This isn't happening... this isn't happening... this isn't happening....
Arni was trying very hard to convince herself in this, as she cowered in the corner. This wasn't a werewolf but it was horrifying! All she was doing is setting metal bars on the waterway, as planned out by the Sheriff and Militia Captain, when the THING came up!

It was terrifying. It towered over Arni by at least two heads, and it... slithered... with bones. It was an olm, but not the kind Arni would snack on sometimes. This one was HUGE and skeletal and had all sharp edges and it HISSED nonstop. It crawled out of the water straight into Arni. Arni, taught my many years of carefully avoiding werewolves and preparing for their inevitable attack, knew exactly what to do - she dropped the lead bars, shrieked, and ran in a random direction, into a corner. It seemed to have lost track of Arni, and was currently cornering one of the new arrivals, a Leatherworker, who was whimpering pathetically.

This would have been ugly, but Himmler once turned out of nowhere again. And she broke the olm piece by piece, until it stopped moving.




After this, Arni didn't like the caves anymore. She figured that it would be a terrible place to be caught by werewolves.

[CognitiveDissonance]

Fortress Orbrushed, Timber 351

Cogdi really liked the new well. It was designed and well-built by Fourdots, and gave the fortress a reliable source of water. Last time he went into the cave, she could have sworn she felt a granite-like croak from within the water. Ugly things live there, she knew. But now that this was complete and the cave almost secured, they could pro...

Her thought was interrupted by a strong trap on her back. Irritated to be disturbed, Cogdi spun around preparing a sharp word or two, which she swallowed when he saw that Her Lowness Ïnul Portalboards has arrived, and was staring at her from her ☼☼☼Gold Crown☼☼☼, masterfully set with garnets and fire opals and on it is a masterful image of cats. The cats are hunting.

"How is the sliver barb dye industry coming along?" said Ïnul Portalboards, and smiled. Cogdi realized that this wasn't going to be easy.

[Arni]

We've got galena, dont we? I need a silver door! It will ward off those werewolves!

Also, Himmler needs better armor! What will we do when the werewolves attack and she lies wounded by some skeletal olm in the bed?

It time to heat up the forge! Some nice goblets will also help the patience of her Lowness!

[r3d5kull]

Whats the Relationship status of Himmel?

[nuker w]

This is looking good. Keep up the good work.

[CognitiveDissonance]

Fortress Orbrushed, Timber, 351

The Queen Ïnul Portalboards straightened and drew herself up to her full height. Cogdi watched nervously.

“I am pleased by the small separate bedrooms for each of the founding workers—a wise idea and a fine way to keep up morale. I would suggest engraving them and smoothing the walls to make them more pleasant. However, your other workers need rooms, and you really must start work on a barracks so they don’t have to take up valuable beds in the hospital. It will also make integration of more immigrants much easier.”

Cogdi winced inwardly at the thought of more immigrants. How many was the queen going to send? The diplomat was fastidiously taking notes for the queen, in a small ☼☼Giant Toad leather journal☼☼, on it an image of Elephants and boats. The Elephants are making threatening gestures towards boats. The queen murmured something to the diplomat again and she continued to scribble away.

“Another thing, regarding morale—I didn’t see a kitchen or a dining hall. That’s rather undwarflike, if I may be blunt. You really must begin work on a legendary dining hall with engraved and smoothed walls, so you can eat and entertain in civil conditions. And the kitchen…” The queen trailed off and gave Cogdi a gently disapproving look.
“Yes, Your Lowness?”
“There isn’t one. You must excavate a kitchen at once, or future immigrants will have a rough time of it. Make sure the diet and farming industry are sufficient to make the kitchen worthwhile—a good variety of food will make your workers strong and happy, and space to live in will make them ecstatic. The same goes to the barracks; build those after the kitchen, as immediately as possible. When you get the chance for a proper military—soon, I hope for the sake of your fortress defense—build a larger training room as well.”

She cleared her throat and Cogdi made furious mental notes while she’d paused. On a moment’s note, she discreetly murmured something to the diplomat. Cogdi caught the words ‘bone master crafted jewellry’ and ‘figurines’, and the words ‘gold’ and ‘gemstones’ as well. Great, he thought, there goes our supply of trinkets for trading goods…at least there’s no shortage of bone, with all the undead. He made a mental note to apologize to the immigrant bone-carver in advance.

“As well, I would like a room of jet with smoothed and engraved walls for my own visits here. Please notify us as soon as you have a textile industry set up, and as soon as you’re producing dyes.” She smiled graciously at Cogdi. “For a year, you’ve made excellent progress, and I hope to see you accelerate it. Especially for my black sliver barb dye! For the moment, that is all.”

The diplomat finished taking notes and the queen turned around, her ☼silk long robes☼, sewn in with leather, skimming the ground. With her footsteps, the spikes of tigerseye and silver on her robes clinked gently against each other.

//////////////////////////

Cogdi sighed inwardly as she handed over the majority of the carved Giant Olm and Groundhog bones. There goes the trading stock, and now the immigrant bonecarver will have to work twice as hard to make up for it, before the traders decide to leave.

She glared at Queen's dimplomat, Bim Grottotool. She was quite certain that the diplomat was taking a certain kind of sadistic pleasure in this. She certainly seemed the kind.
Looking officiously, Bim Grottotool flipped her ☼☼Giant Toad leather journal☼☼ for a bit, and then looked back up at Cogdi.
"Well then, with Her Lowness' business handled, why don't we go over our trade agenda?"

This could take forever, realized Cogdi. She excused herself, and looked around with some panic - she needed a broker, and needed one now. She didn't notice the immigrant soap maker bump into her. "Oh pardon me miss expedition leader. You see, I was so busy working I didn't notice you! It's a wonderful place here, really, so much work to be had..." He actually had a bit of way with words, and some confidence to his voice. Cogdi thought fast. "That's wonderful! I've been watching your progress. For your efforts, I promote you to the fortress broker! Now if you could attend to our visitors, I must negotiate with the dear diplomat"

There, thought Cogdi. That was solved.

///////////////////////

Everyone was really frantic about the Queen's visit. This was her time. Arni quietly picked up a load of silver, and snuck her way to the forge and got forging. She would make the perfect silver door! The fortress just WAS NOT secure enough, obviously. She could at least protect herself in her bed.

///////////////////////

Cognate McAwesomeBridge stayed out of the Queen's way carefully. Who knew what she was up to, in her fancy outfits? No. She couldn't trust her.
Whom could she, though? There was one... the axedwarf that called herself Himmler. Cognate pulled our her track book, where she kept all the REAL truths about what goes on around. Himmler was the only combat-ready dwarf around, who could properly defend herself. Definitely somebody that Cognate could rely on. And her relationship list looked good too - she didn't form relationships easily, meaning she probably took great care in whom she trusted



Ahh yes, she would approach Himmler soon, and start cultivating her TRUE security force. Cogdi doesn't need to know.

[Dbuhos]

I'm a friend yay.

[nuker w]

The first page of the strange journal....

Dear journ.... Hahahaha... Almost got you there, im not into that stuff. So now i've made a joke that im only likely to read, lets get down to basics. When the queen, her "lowness" sent me here as a punishment, she thought she had got me right there. Ow no no no no... Shes quite wrong.

You see, after i played a game of dice with her and made her lose her favorite hair brush and comb, i knew something would happen. So i decided to prepare.... I had a little talk to the head of the countrys secret police and he asked me if I could... "look after" the group and mainly the bounty there here to get... silver barb. I shure dont see what the fuss is about it, i mean giant cave spider web is much beter... Bah, who cares. All i need to do is start a secret police force as asked, get the area secure, make shure the stupid queens wishs are done "at any cost" as I was told, sneak a little bit out for my self and the head of the secret police, hold out untill the fort ends up killing its self, and go back home, rich and free! How ever, while im here i do plan to make the most of this police stuff. I best not let old Cogdi know, how ever there a bit occupied with the queen them selves...

[CognitiveDissonance]

Fortress Orbrushed, Slate, 352

Himmler once more was by the wall. The cave was full of sounds, of course. Dripping water, the dull sounds of undead creatures underwater, the sizzle of air as it rose over the magma vent. The foot traffic of her fellow dwarves. The cave was being industrialized, with farms being set up for underground, water slowly being barred or blocked so nasties can't come through, and soon this area will not need her attention. And yet, she could hear it. It was beyond the wall, she knew it.

Himmler has spent many hours here over the last week, listening to it. She could almost see it, if she closed her eyes. She counter six legs, by the way the creature walked. Very slowly, confidently. Must be a monster, must have killed many things in it's life.

But now, it came to her fortress, and Himmler would be her last stop. This is one thing that the creature will not swallow.

She tried counselling Cogdy, but he was too busy overseeing the industry development. He reckoned that it's over the wall, so who cares?
But Himmler could feel the menace, and the intent. It wanted to see this fortress crumble, it's denizens crushed under it's legs. She could hear it now. Thunk. Thunk. Thunk. Almost too faint to hear. But not for Himmler.

She tried to counsel others, but they were of no use. Cognate McAwesomeBridge avoided Himmler whenever she sought her out. Arni told her nervously that it's the werewolves, trying to break into the fortress. LordSlowpoke didn't even respond, he was carving something into a chunk of bauxite. DerMonster proposed that if Himmler wore better clothes, the creature wouldn't have shown up. Ridiculous.
One thing came out of it - Arni, in her paranoia, immediately commissioned a very nice suit of wrought iron for Himmler, and well, she never felt more secure inside a suit. The new immigrant was already making a name for himself. Not only a masterful mason, but also an artist with a blacksmith's hammer.



It was almost time, though. She couldn't say why now, but it was. On the 20th of Slate, the creature will die.


When the time came, it wasn't quite how Himmel expected it. She tore the wall down with her axe, readying herself for the beast, but it never came. The unspoken question was answered when the hobbyist fisherdwarf's scream of warning and terror reached her. The beast knew it's end was near, and tried to trick Himmler. But that was not to be.

It was in the water below. Himmler could see it from the lead bars, and her and the beast pondered each other for a minute.
It was a monstrous creature. A gigantic lizard-like creature, it's scales lavender in colour, with six legs like whole grown tower caps. It had oversized ribs, sticking out of it's extended torso. The beast couldn't hold still, as it kept squirming and fidgeting.

As the beast pushed the bars aside and shook the water off it's hideous body, Himmler sized it up. She could smell it, a cloying stench of dead fish, murky water, and strange things that Himmler couldn't name. A creature of such terrible majesty deserved a name, and Himmler named it Oggez in her head. She needed a name to kill.

The cave was empty now, as all other dwarves have fled. Good, less distraction.

The beast still had a surprise to it, as it reared it's ugly head and breathed fire! The fire washed over Himmler's well crafted armor easily, making Himmler wince and cough on the accompanying smoke as the cavern grass charred and died in smoke. Himmler wiped her eyes clear - but by then the beast was charging! Himmler had only the chance to jump aside, and as the dumb beast passed, the -Steel Axe- was buried in the beast's body with a lound shwuck. Himmler twisted the blade, and tore it out, splashing thick yellow ichor everywhere. Himmler smirked. This is what she lived for.

Her smile didn't last long, as the creature miraculously turned around, and kicked Himmler straight in the back, knocking her face down. Thank Tenshed for the armor, though Himmler. She turned around just in time to block the creature's other leg, and rolled away.

Himmler got up, and slashed at the creature, opening deep gashes in it's legs. The creature, however, only got madder and rushed Himmler again!
There was nowhere to jump, and she held her ground. The collision was like a cave-in, knocking the lights out for Himmler.
She came to pain, as the beast was trumpeting and kicking Himmler who lay on the ground. The armor took most of the damage, bending and twisting badly. Still, the beast persisted and Himmler knew she couldn't last much longer. This was it.

Next time the creature raised her leg, Himmler rolled under it. She slashed at it's belly, spilling gore and guts all over herself. As the beast trumpeted in pain, Himmler slashed at the nearest leg, opening another deep gash, celebrated by a shower of blood. The beast's hurt legs could hold it no longer, and it collapsed. Himmler narrowly rolled away, escaping a swift and stinking death.

Getting up, Himmler watched the beast writhe pathetically as it's life ichor bled out. Summoning all of her remaining strength, Himmler kicked the beast, who slid off the lead bars, into the water.

It would spend the next two days lying in deep water, it's head out. It was too wrecked to move, and it would trumpet pathetically as it died. Himmler stood above, watching it until the light went out of it's eyes, and the fidgeting stopped.



As predicted, on the 20th of Slate, the horrible beast known only as Oggez died.

Then, Himmler passed out.

[LordSlowpoke]

Moar bauxite.
MOAR.
Anyway, how much of it do I have? Because I need to decide how much MOAR I need for comfort. And did we find the silvers yet?

[Dbuhos]

Himmler is one of the most badass dwarfs, w00t !
:3 Wat's SnakeBriggade doing lately ?

[r3d5kull]

Himmler is one of the most badass dwarfs, w00t !
:3 Wat's SnakeBriggade doing lately ?

this guys is right! Himmler is absolutly the best soldier in DF history.