First of all, please don't allow yourself to feel that you're "damaged goods", or inferior to supposedly "normal" people (hint: "normal" doesn't exist, and if it does, they're generally the ones to run away from at top speed), when it comes to potential relationships, just because you have mental problems.
For one thing, mental illness is an illness, not a lifestyle choice. Not that you necessarily need to be told that, but when getting into "uncharted" relationship "waters", I find that insecurities can really start cropping up in unexpected places, and insecurity/lack of confidence is a great way to kill a relationship before it ever starts, without involving any other factors.
And there's no good reason for you to not have, or develope, confidence.
There are so many people out there, without the least handicap, that are jerks by choice. That might mean that you have to try a little harder, work on developing yourself into a more interesting person than the highschool quarterback, vapid supermodel, or walking trustfund, but can you really call that a bad thing?
There are over 6 billion people on the planet, and it's a very large aspect of human nature to want to share your life with someone else. There is absolutely someone out there for everyone who wants to share their life. No exceptions.
After all, you've got access to the internet. I'm not ashamed to admit that's how I met my wife, and we've been married almost 5 years now (and yes, I've got more than one mental illness of my own, so you're not alone. Infact, madness runs in my family on both sides--one of the disadvantages of being related to heavily interbred European royalty. I've got a host of physical problems, too, for that matter.).
The illness is however, obviously a part of your life (or you wouldn't have mentioned it here), and because of that, I'm of the opinion that it's important to be upfront about it, and clear about what the symptoms are, and everything (or atleast everything you're comfortable sharing, particularly things that may, directly or indirectly, affect the other person) the illness entails.
Mental illness may not be a condition that is sought out, or desireable, but honesty is. Trustworthiness-as well as the ability to trust your partner-especially in a long-term relationship, can overcome a lot of faults, even ones that are your fault.
Depending on your age, and the ages of the person you're trying to form a relationship with, you may find that there are social hurdles to overcome, that are purely there because our respective societies inflict them upon you. A lot of people, I find, grow out of the idea that they should only be dating a perfect "prince/princess charming", but that can be difficult for some to overcome their ingrained responses.
Society conditions us, as do our more primitive instincts, which often are what our social mores are based upon. We're genetically directed towards finding the genetically "perfect" partner, for sexual relationships, in order to produce the healthiest children possible, and that instinct tends to be stronger, at a younger age, because the person in question simply hasn't had enough experience to balance what their brain chemistry is trying to force them to be and do, against what will make them happy, emotionally.
If you do get rejected by someone you have feelings for, try to understand that it's really not the end of the world. No matter how wonderful you may think they are, they're not the only one out there for you (you've got 6 billion+ options, afterall), and it really is preferrable to realize early in a relationship that things aren't going to work out with that specific person, and accept it, even if it's painful, than it is to spend/waste 10 years of your life being miserable, with someone you don't--and probably can't ever--really connect with on a deep level.
And, if it makes you feel any better, it's not fair to the other person to be with them, if they're not a good fit for you. That said, someone (probably quite a few "someones") will be.
If you are honest and straightforward, and if the person accepts you for who you are, that's a great sign of their character. Ofcourse, that's not the only thing you ought to consider, in a relationship. In other words, there's no reason to "settle" for the first person who can stand to be in the same room as you, especially if they're not all that happy to be there. There's a lot more to consider in a healthy relationship.
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Topic: At what point in a relationship do I say "I have serious mental problems" (Read 4585 times)