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[Dwarven Malcolite]

I've been lurking in the shadows long enough! Does anyone other then me remember the famed and only game of Estrur Onga, "The Midnight of Chancing"? If you know of that fateful and extremely long game, then you would know of the importance of keeping track of what supplies are remaining. By my count, at this point you are all completely out of Meat, Fish, Plant, and Other, and have been for some time, and as such one out of five of your dwarves should now be searching for vermin, and the rest will join them in two to three turns! Not only that, but as a side effect of the Citiastquadbur rulings, all dwarves who currently or at any time in the past have had the cooking, brewing, hunting, fish cleaning, plant gathering, or pump operating labors active will cancel job: go insane sometime in the next season!

Oh, and you hear a deep rumbling from somewhere in the cavern. Thought you'd like to know.

[THLawrence]

I implement gravity notices on Xgamer4's units. Then have have operator 3 leap out of the way as 6 zombie whales and a speardwarf hit the catapult and the very solid ground causing them to explode in a gory bloodbath.
My cavespider has had all of its limbs mangled and both eyes poked out, and various other wounds. So it just keeps shoot webs in the same direction entangling the trolls and carp.
Miners 2&4 have now directed the currently dry river bed towards the magma and are now heading back to the river the destroy the jam.
My dwarves have all been eating dwarf meat from Vengeful Donut's dwarves. Still have a few supplies left. Corpses, they're multipurpose.

Now since there are no other remaining undead on the field to contest me and my dozens of dwarf bone bolts and dwarf bone artifact crossbow. The animated creatures are, 1 dwarf bone artifact crossbow, 8 stacks of dwarf bone bolts, 8 rotting dwarf hides, 1 burning dwarf corpse in the magma vent and 2 stacks of 5 dwarf meat.

Going to be low on supplies soon. Good turn though. Down a catapult, up an undead horde of body pieces. Good turn.

Commentary will follow soon.

[THLawrence]

Commentary:

Gravity: Wait a second, get down here.
Zombie whale 1: Ahhh! Woooh! What's happening? Who am I? Why am I here? What's my purpose in life? What do I mean by who am I?
Zombie whale 2: One question at a time I don't know what's going on either.
Zombie whale 3: Well we should start naming things to make it easier to figure out what everything is. What's that?
Zombie whale 4: Lets call it a... tail!
All whales: Yeah! Tail!
Zombie whale 5: And hey, what's this roaring sound, whooshing past what I'm suddenly gonna call my head?
Zombie whale 4: Wind! Is that a good name?
Zombie whale 3: It'll do
Zombie whale 6: Yeah, this is really exciting. I'm dizzy with anticipation! Or is it the wind? There's an awful lot of that now isn't it?
Zombie whale 1: And what's this thing coming toward us very fast?
Zombie whale 3: So big and flat and round, it needs a big wide sounding name like 'Ow', 'Ownge', 'Round'.
Zombie whale 2: 'Ground'!
Zombie whale 5: That's it! Ground!
Zombie whale 4: What do we call the fast little stubby guy that seems to be running away?
Zombie whale 1: How about short little stubby guy.
Zombie whale 6: I wonder if it'll be friends with
us?
Zombie whale 5: I don't know, he seems to be running awfully fast for a short little stubby guy. Maybe the ground will be.
Zombie whale 3: It's coming towards us really fast, it must really want to be our friend.
All whales: Hello Ground!

The only thing the speardwarf thought was: 'Oh no, not again.'

Operator 3 leaps out of the ways as a the catapult explodes in a bloody explosion behind him.

Troll: Got it, second time too. Didn't kill it but it should be able to fight with all of its legs mangled, eyes poked out, and injured internal organs.
Cavespider: Hiss
Troll: Argh, it's sticky.

Miner 2: With the river directed as such, we just need the water.
Miner 4: Lets go take out that dam.
Miner 2: Just don't dig out the ground under me again.
Miner 4: You knew I was digging there, you could of stood anywhere else.
Miner 2: But I wanted to stand there.
Arguments continue ending in Miner 2 agreeing to stay out of Miner 4's way if he got to use him as a pick.

Marksdwarf x: Hey shouldn't we of run out of food by now?
Marksdwarf 1: No, we've been saving our original rations until they're needed.
Marksdwarf x: Then...what..have...we...been......eating?
Marksdwarf 1: Dwarf meat
Marksdwarf x: When did we get dwarf meat!?
Marksdwarf 1: I butchered some of the dead dwarves to make bone bolts, got some meat out of it as well. There are also some old skins, but we don't have a tanner so they're just rotting back there.
Marksdwarf x: I think I'm going to be sick.
Animated Meat: Well don't horf on me. You ate my brother already, don't need hork on me.
Marksdwarf x: HHHHHOOOORRRRFFF.
keskal: Wow, I didn't know you could projectile vomit at that range.
Marksdwarf y: Um, why is your crossbow floating there in the air?
Marksdwarf 1: Told you there was something special about it.
Marksdwarf z: Better question why did our bone bolts suddenly start flying around?
keskal: It is Deathskull Eve, we shall live again!
Marksdwarf y: Um, so should we just use our crossbows like hammers then?
Marksdwarf w: They can be used another way?
Marksdwarf y: Hm, good point.

If you don't get the reference about the whales, YOU SUCK.

[Blargh]

Please, who doesn't get the reference? Also, I already did this with my dragon whelp, although I was more subtle.

As I have to skip my current turn due to donating my moves, I make no action this turn, apart from remarking that per the 3rd edition Pantshelm rules, I am allowed to purchase a unit this current turn, as that does not cost any move. I therefore purchase a Tamed Grue at a yet unknown dark location. Tremble.

Also, my Named Elven Ninja has by now put out -all- the spider's eyes (I don't need to mention that spiders have more than 2) with his spinning coins, as a Ninja is trained to act independently and has his own move count, and rescued a smallish Halfling from its webs. Though he appears dead, he's merely paralyzed by the spider's venom. This gains me 5 points and a *gold ring*.

Commentary:

Grue: (deadly silence)

Ninja: (also deadly silence)

Giant Cave Spider: "Eeek, ogh, ouchy, OI GEVALT!"

Gold Ring: "Equip me, equip me!"

Note that the cheese in my dam has ripened to beyond even dwarven standards, which means that any creature wishing to approach the dam must no make a Smell check and a Fortitude check at a DC of 25, or be affected as by Concentrated Miasma, taking 4d6 nose damage and becoming dazed for 2d3 rounds. Undead, Ultra-Tough Dwarves and creatures with no nose are immune to this effect.

[Xgamer4]

As per Deathskull Eve rules, I'd like to note that we are playing in a haunted location and I control the chasm and, as such, all the undead creatures in there.

Unfortunately, with the destruction of my whales I have to delay my strategy. Thankfully, though, the dwarven caravan wanders in carrying the 100 logs I ordered in secret as per Rule 76b, section z, subsection Ω, paragraph Φ. I set the woodcutter (gravity has yet to notice him) to work hauling those logs into the chasm cave (which my miners finally finished digging) and near the magma workshops the metalsmith set up near a magma vent he found. Luckily this vent provides light to my fortress as per the alternative rules for magma as found in the rulebook Magma Mystique. Interestingly enough, though, due to an (un)lucky dice roll my metalsmith has entered a mood. And now he's grabbing stuff. Gotta wait a turn or two to see what he makes, though.

COMMENTARY:
Woodcutter: Chop, chop, chop, falling whales, chop, how normal, chop, chop, chop.
Caravan: Get'cha logs here!
Woodcutter:  . Now I have to actually haul stuff. *flies over and starts hauling*
Metalsmith: Wood and magma. No worries about fuel now. Ah! Ah! I SEE THE MASTERPIECE! *has entered a mood*
Miners: Di di dig. Di di dig. Trio trio trio.
Hydra: RRROOOOOOAAAAARRR!!!

[Dwarven Malcolite]

Pantshelm rules came in several regional variants, and they all had slightly different rules. Minor, but it makes a difference. As an impartial outside observer, I feel it is my duty to inquire which regional variant is being used? After all, if it is the rules produced for the Spines of Pointing, then around now there should be a river attack from stealth frogmen, all of whom have max stats due to their status as legendary swimmers, while the rules for the Empty Dunes of Rolling would instead have an infestation of pixies.

[Grek]

Seeing as I have two head of ettin and 1 ettin egg and am allied with the chasm,, -I'm- taking command of the Deathskull Eve undead and ordering them to carve a fortress out of the cheese dam. It will be ready in 3 turns.

[Rondol]

According to rule 1a (Making Up Rules) I now declare that in the event that if at any time anything is dead (undead counts, animated/inanimate objects do not) within the Treasury the entire board is reset, the world is rerolled, and anyone who was in possession of a Toy Axe must type their next four turns entirely in-character.

Then I will begin my turn. My troll sieger will begin hurling logs at the Gate and Fortifications, attempting to breach the fortress and let out all that water.

Troll: ME, TROGDAR, SMASH!

The troll whelps will start picking up rocks and fashioning toy axes (with other rocks) out of them to use as projectile weapons.

Whelps: Ooo! Rock look like axe! Me throw at bad guys! *dodges flying tree*
Trogdar: SNARG! Tree better to throw! GRAUGH!

Finally my Armored Troll is going to do bad things to that ninja. If he can find him.

Troll: Here, elfy elfy! I no hurt you. Me just want to give you biiiiiiiig hug!

[THLawrence]

quote:Originally posted by Grek:
<STRONG>Seeing as I have two head of ettin and 1 ettin egg and am allied with the chasm,, -I'm- taking command of the Deathskull Eve undead and ordering them to carve a fortress out of the cheese dam. It will be ready in 3 turns.</STRONG>

You are only allied with the chasm and not have them effected by either the screw physics bonus or its counter, gravity notices. By that they would not be under your direct control and will not add to your undead count. In addition you have to remember the dozens of bone bolts that would count toward my score. I would remain in control of the undead pieces scattered around boards. It is not my turn yet so I can not move yet.

[CharonX]

Having skipped my last turn I use my remaining startingpoints to place 5 elite Marksdwarves next to THLawrence's artifact crossbows (excellent work there, mate).

Checking up my poor deers I sadly must report that one of them has perished due to the ultimate horror damage, the others suffering from yellow brain injuries, dropping unconscious at times. Still, as I still have control over the still (heh) I score 5 more points (though that will probably soon end when PTTG?? tantruming woodcutdirtdigger and the hedgedogs reach it, I fear. Maybe I'll get lucky and Turgid Bolk's jeweler gets there first, he'd be a good distraction for the tantruming miner)

At least my skeletal lungfish was not affected by Horror at all and still holds the stockpile, which scores me another point. Yay!

As I end my turn advancing the year to 1053 (Autumn) I check for events...

...

Gods help us all! Immigrants! Dozends of them. No, I stand corrected... Grosses of them, and they just keep coming!

[Skeeblix]

You guys play like barbarians. It obviously states the best procedure for early game in Urist Douglas' "Compendium of All Things Known".

Thusly, as someone esteemed enough to have read this all-encompassing collection of proper form, I can only say I have but one choice.

I deploy a squad of six fodd...um, I mean dwarves, armed with picks to dig up and utilize the secret cache of thermonuclear warheads that I cleverly placed using Rule 117 of Pregame Asset Placement.

Eat it, suckers!

[ November 10, 2007: Message edited by: Skeeblix ]

[Citizen of Erl]

I would like to point out that Pantshelm rules are traditionally contiguous with the Erl Variant.

My Wilted Plump Helmet is walked over by the gem setter ten times, thus invoking Unknown Bug 72, transforming it into a Beeve.

Also, I would like to play Chasm Drop on the Artifact Crossbow made from my sheriff.

Finally, I wish to place an Elven Druid (Dabbling) and a Troll near the gem setter and the Beeve.

[Kyselina]

Wtf and where can i find these pantsheim rules?

[Blargh]

quote:Originally posted by Rondol:
<STRONG>
Finally my Armored Troll is going to do bad things to that ninja. If he can find him.

Troll: Here, elfy elfy! I no hurt you. Me just want to give you biiiiiiiig hug!</STRONG>

Uhm, attacking my log/cheese dam I can understand, as it has been compromised. But why are you attacking my ninja, ally?

Unless... Are you perhaps attempting a Ploy of Penultimate Backstabbery? In that case, you should tell me. It'll work better that way, I promise. For real.

Any way, it is now next turn, and it's time for me to use my platoon of enraged hoary marmots to attack the immigrants, to spread maximum confusion. Charge!

Also, please note that the Hydra is currently in a very dark place and is likely to be eaten by a Grue. The Hydra has been eaten by a Grue. Mehehe.

My named elven ninja, however, has unfortunately equipped the *gold ring* and disappeared so thoroughly that he's not even here anymore. The ninja may or may not have left the map in search of a Caldera.

It is now only 232 turns until my olms arrive at the still.

I use my remaining points this turn to purchase 20 Groundhog Berserkers, whom I promptly order to surround the still and begin chriping terrifyingly to scare out whatever the hell is in there, while beating their little chests with their little paws in a scary diplay of toughness.

Finally, I roll a d20 to see wether or not my Doomsday Device is complete... and I get a 3. Feck. It seems my "Inflate -3" weapon won't inflate. I'll have to try again next turn.

Commentary:

Ninja: *disappear*

Grue: Grue.

Hydra: "Oh, the pain, the pain of it all! Goodbye, cruel world" * 7

Enraged Hoary Marmots: *chirp*!!!

Groundhog Berserkers: Waaaaagh!

Sparrowman: Duhr, how I mine for fish?

[Jusal]

Well played, sir. I had almost forgotten about the Erl variant.