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[Grek]

I'm moving my eetin to b42 and laying eggs in the hollow log.

[Jusal]

I am extremely sorry for intefering with the quite interesting situation you have there, much thought must've been put in tactics.

However I cannot help but notice that no one seemed to remember the rule 993-e(9-11) from the 4th edition expansion pack "Dwarven Exhibionism": If a dwarven king arrives on the board, in the event of 2½+ deers overtaking a brewery, he is forced to remove his *Diorite Thong*. This causes 1d3 Ultimate Horror Damage to everything on the gameboard without the [BLIND] tag, and 1d6+1 Horrible Mental Image Damage to anyone unlucky enough to read this post (Unless they are wearing sunglasses).

[Vengeful Donut]

I declare turggid bolk as my ally. I feed 5 dwarves to his elephant, bringing it to defcon level C. 3 of my remaining 4 dwarves enter fey moods and I activate the [SPEED:1] tag to give all dwarves (controlled by any player) two extra turns.

Dwarf 1 claims the clothier's workshop and constructs artifact cave spider silk blocks. On them is an image of a elephant in cedar. The elephant is striking a menacing pose. On them is an image of giant eagles. The eagles are withering away. (Turgid bolk's elephant is now at defcon level K; all eagles are set on fire)
Dwarf 2 claims the jewler's workshop and constructs an enormous peridot corkscrew. It is encircled with bands of carp leather and menaces with spiked of whale bone. (+2 vs aquatic creatures)
Dwarf 3 claims the mason's workshop and constructs schist pipes. It is encircled with bands of schist. It menaces with spikes of schist. It menaces with spikes of schist. On it is an image of schist in schist.

I gain one schisty artifact point.

My remaining dwarf feeds dwarves one through 3 to turgid's elephant. It has reached defcon level ampersand. He gains control of their artifacts and assembles a screw pump at the river and activates it to flood everything below Z4. This includes the mines, farms, stills, dormitory, workshops, great hall, fortifications, gate, treasury, and metalworks.

[Blargh]

Well, I roll a 16 on my fortitude saving throw, halving my damage. My olms remain unaffected, as they are blind and still stampeding.

Fine, good sir. You force me to reveal my ultimate plot.

I sell my starting anvil and clog up the river with 300 logs, 49 barrels of cheese and a leftover felsite thong. This should hopefully give the elves a collective heart attack.

I place a goblin sapper at square E34, and it uses its Illusory Correlation power to plant a !!spider silk mitten!! 2 tiles away from the Catapult, forcing all dwarves in the vicinity to go: "Ooh, shiny!" and run to pick it up, causing 1d6 fire damage to the AI. This leaves the Catapult unguarded for 1/4 of a round, giving me just enough time to launch a Groundhog in a Martial Trance at the still.

I use my remaining move to commit my Sparrowman to my secret ultimate weapon research project, dubbed "Inflate -3".

Finally, I choose Rondol as my partner, a ridiculous decision resulting in a humor-based +3 Morale bonus for my units, and I move to reinforce his carps with my Enraged Hoary Marmots.

[THLawrence]

Thank you for the bonus turns.

I forbid the !!spider silk mitten!! and designate the surrounding area restricted.
I designate ability boost on Xenomroph's goblins giving them legendary +5 throwing .
I turn the catapult at QA4 operator 3 keeps firing away. Thanks to the bonus turns this has triple his firepower.
Operator 1 switches to making dwarf bone bolts from Vengeful Donut's dwarves. Once again thanks to the bonus turns this has enabled him to use up all 8 dwarves.
My giant cavespider sprays web towards the gate to ensure the carp and any sneaking goblins.
I place marksdwarves 2-7 about the butcher shop, Operator 1 is conscripted and takes command of the marksdwarves becoming marksdwarf 1
Marksdwarves 1-7 grab their masterwork/exceptional/artifact crossbows and the dwarf bone bolts then head to defend the still.
Miners 2&4 continue diverting the now dry riverbed to the magma vent.

Operator 3:OOOOHHHH shiny
BOOMING VOICE: No, don't touch, bad, forbid, forbid, forbid. Don't go anywhere near it. Just keep shooting at those gobbos.
Operator 3: [ANGRILY] Fine [/ANGRILY]

Giant Cave spider: Hiss
Carp: Splash, splash, splash, Splash, splash, splash, Splash, splash, splash, Splash, splash, splash, Splash, splash, splash, Splash, splash, splash, Splash, splash, splash, Splash, splash, splash, Splash, splash, splash, Splash, splash, splash, Splash, splash, splash, Splash, splash, splash, Splash, splash, splash, Splash, splash, splash, Splash, splash, splash, Splash, splash, splash

Marksdwarves 1-7: For the booze.

[Xgamer4]

Grr... I can't believe I have to resort to this.

I activate "Screw Physics". It gives all my creatures [FLIER]. With this new addition I have my 6 zombie whales take to the sky and prepare to drop themselves on the catapult. As this is happening, my miners hit a chasm and unveil my secret weapon. A hydra.

AREAS CONTROLLED:
Chasm.

CREATURES:
6 zombie whales
4 Dwarven miners
1 Hydra
All the denizens of the chasm

[WillNZ]

Hey, it says right here, section 3000.4 clause XYZ, that you can substitute felsite thongs for catapults! Someone's in big trouble now.

[Blargh]

Drat and bebother, I should have seen that Forbid coming a mile away.

Well played, sir.

As to substituting felsite thongs for catapults, why would you? You'd miss out on the +25 Nasty Underwear bonus, and I for one need it badly to fuel my doomsday device.

Now, in a fair approximation of the Gügenheimer gambit, I substitute my Martial Trance Groundhog using a random quantum fluxuation rift effect for an Elven Ninja (named, Arthur Ninkompoopin). Feeling safe from pirates due to the dryness of the riverbed, he stealths over to the forest and begins throwing coins at the Giant Cave Spider at a +5 bonus.

I lick my elbow for the extra agility bonus, and donate my remaining moves this turn to Rondol, giving him an extra 3 move.

As per my assumption bonus, this turn yields 23 points, bringing my total to 45 points, which will be enough to purchase a Tamed Grue next turn. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

[PTTG??]

OK, OK, that's it! I invoke the "well, dirt is kinda like trees" semi-bylaw, and my woodcutter sets to work digging a well. Due to the [SPEED:1] tag, he becomes Legendary in 12 seconds, passes through a miasma cloud, and tantrums. God help us all. The groundhogs continue to hem him in and direct his to the still to joint the melee. Meanwhile, the Elves arrive armed with sharpies and nametags and attack all the trees. Throbbinghorns the extradimentional gear, and oak tree, is the first victim. according to rule 1337 subsection h4-x0r, all non-elves who look at a named tree, the number of which double each turn, they spend one turn going saying "WHAT?!?"

and finally, in the distance, a quiet, distant sound can be heard, from a far darkness on the southern horizon, and that sound is that mysterious call, almost musical, and yet terrible in the majestic hugeness of the throng. That muted, chittering sound can only mean one thing:

...

the gibbons are coming

[Grek]

quote:
CREATURES:
6 zombie whales
4 Dwarven miners
1 Hydra
All the denizens of the chasm

I'll request an alliance with Xgamer4, noting that if he refuses, all of his undead and/or many headed monsters get -4 morale for refusing to help a multi-headed undead.

[Turgid Bolk]

quote:Originally posted by Rondol:
<STRONG>Under rule 4042.5, subsection 3c, I'll apply "Raw Editing Powers" to give all Fish the ability to walk on land. Since the forest is right next to the river I now control it, and I'll begin an assault on the Gate.</STRONG>

I can't believe I forgot to forbid this rule at the start, it only leads to ridiculous creatures like vomit-elementals. And I seriously doubt the professionalism of certain players invoking the more obscure rules, I had hoped to stick mostly to 3rd edition Pantshelm rules, which I feel was the more "pure" game...that's what I get for not specifying a rulebook, I suppose.

Anyway, since I had to skip 4 turns after playing the demon, I'm grateful to VengefulDonut for allying with me and promoting my elephant to highest defcon. The elephant (at G19) moves to E13, past the river. He passes and kills (by my count) 12 carp and mangles 1 in the kidney. He passes the river via the "brook" tiles, and oh dear, it seems his Bloodlust ability has been activated...and he's only one turn away from the goblins...

(Those wondering how he moved so far in one turn, refer to Chapter 1, section 57, subsection 2, header II.iv, in the "exceptions" sidebar, under Elephant defcon movement effects. Note that this has been in since 2nd edition - really, these are the basics, people. Grow a beard.)

Finally, I will spend my last turn points to bring...(rolls a pair of finely crafted +<<8801>>+)...14 immigrants into play from the northwest including (rolls) 2 cheesemakers, 1 soapmaker, 1 jeweler, 1 swordsdwarf, and 2 miners. The rest I'll take as peasants. The miners get to work digging to the bottom level in order to release my demon, the jeweler gets thirsty and makes a rush for the still, and the rest I give to VengefulDonut in compensation.

[Rondol]

You know, looking back, I think you may be right. Raw Editing Powers does tend to add exceptional complexity to games, reducing the skill required to play and leading to bizarre, unrealistic strategies.

Therefore: Based on the "Past Rule Revocation" decision from the 744 World Cup of Tacticus game, all Raw Editing is hereby removed, and further editing is forbidden.

Now then. Since the spider has assaulted my carps again, as has the Giant Elephant, I get to ativate my Secret Alliance. My chosen race was Troll, so I will choose a Troll Sieger (CR4), an Armored Troll (CR4), and two Troll Whelps (CR1), who all appear in the forest quite angry.

I will order my Sieger to start hurling trees at the Giant Spider. Thrown trees behave as if they were wooden ballista bolts. My armored Troll and one Troll Whelp will descend into the river, making for the Gate, while the other Whelp goes about collecting Carps-in-buckets.

Over the course of my next turns, which were generously donated by my ally, 18 trees will be thrown at the cave spider, of which only the last two actually hit. Unfortunately, the last thrown tree was named, so the elves are somewhat upset with me now. My troll whelp has gathered up all the wayward carp while my other two trolls have been battering at the gates, trying to get through, and my carp-carrying troll is now moving towards the gate as well.

[Xgamer4]

Well chosen, Grek. I accept the alliance.

Going farther, my Miners descend into the chasm and begin digging safety rooms off to the side. After numerous unpauses (sorry guys, didn't realize that rule was still in effect >_< ) and the discovery of native platinum, gold, silver, tin, hematite, and marble they finally get around to starting the digging.

I then activate the "incremental additions" rule, which, as you remember, will give me an increasing number of immigrants each turn starting this turn. The amount increases by once each turn from the roll of a six-sided dice. *rolls* 3.

As per rule 36z, section 8c, subsection 78, paragraph 5, "all new units (immigrants, creatures, races, etc) who join the battle on the side of one who has added tags (flier, amphibious, etc) are also affected by the tag."

I set the woodcutter to work cutting down trees, the metalsmith to work down in the chasm, and I tell the Speardwarf to join the zombie whales over the catapult.

[RPB]

Since you guys haven't been keeping track of moon phases, I feel compelled to point out that the new harvest moon is now ascendant over the constellation Deaftours the Unkind Purpleness of Fortifying. Accordingly, starting next turn it is Deathskull Eve and all dwarf corpses and fractions of dwarf corpses should enter play as self-animated undead under the control of the player with the most undead on the board. This includes THLawrence's artifact dwarf bone crossbow.

[Kyselina]

Does this have rules? Can I join?