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[Gulfd'An]

My giant artifact floodgate named stan and greater moloch swarms are on strike so useing the rules of Tacticus for dummies number 1397452 "If you read this many of the rule books for dummys you are probably not dum" page 172.5 margin 7 sub note 3 I can fire them and abolish the union of minions then higher some underpayed temp workers.

I now have 7 underpayed hoary marmot temp workers and interns in the lava vent.

[Dwarfaholic]

I proclaim the marmots "Enemies of the Nation".
I can now have weekly "Hate minutes", boosting the loyalty of my people, all thanks to the "Orwell much?" rule of the "Nations and crap" rulebook, Australian version.

I recruit all my "Restless folk" and send them to battle the underpayed marmots.
As my valiant soldiers fall into the magma vent, I blame it on everybody else, and promptly declare war.

[Dwarfaholic]

Bump.

[Dwarfaholic]

I continue to wage war against all other players, who don't really exist, and keep my people happy.

(bump)

[DuncanFrost]

As my King Quadgremlin was slain by an Effortless, Tiny, Thoughtless or Just Plain Dumb move, he automatically resurrects. He also creates five copies of himself, which are all Legendary Comedians due to the previous rules that were previous, as previously stated previously. They go on a Godzilla-esque rampage throughout Dwarfaholic's city, scoring umpteen points of damage and reducing it to the level of Tiny Hovel In The Middle Of Nowhere, At The Back Of Beyond. Let's see how orwellian you can get with only one shack!  

[Dwarfaholic]

Luckily, all my people stay alive.
I declare a "Time of crisis and need!".
All my civilians become either soldiers of builders.
I rebuild by glorious city-empire and my soldiers are stationed in it.
I send my skeletal elephant-riding crossbowgoblins against your quadrgremlins.

[Dwarfaholic]

Needless to say, as you have not refuted my last post, according to rule 2, book 1, Pansthelm, you quadrgremlins are wiped out.

Or you throw four natural twenties and all my goblins are hit by meteorites. As if.

[Jualin]

Due to the Panic Attack: We'reallgonnadie rule set discussed in Hidden Fun Stuff, hidden fun stuff has been discovered in the mines deep below the fortress, in the metalworks of the place, where a small band of miners and hammerdwarves were trying to escape the madness all around them by walling themselves off with stone mined from their surroundings. Also, as I cannot directly discuss what came out of it, due to the Your Soul and Your Secrecy subset, I can safely post a short log of related events.

A miner has located some eerie glowing pits.
Smelter destroyed.
Magma Forge toppled.
Magma Smelter destroyed.
Door destroyed.
Mason's Workshop toppled.
Kitchen toppled.
Door destroyed.
Clothes Maker's Shop toppled.
Urist Zirilokbod, Miner has bled to death.
Urist Geshudid, Hammerlord has been struck down.

[Akhier the Dragon hearted]

I use the rule from book gamma alpha comma subsection C part 234 revised parragraph 66 line 5 sentance 3 about clueless people join and start with in quadrant 4:
3 skelks
1 legendary +5 soapmaker with the additional curse of immortality yet inability to hurt anyone or thing nor make anything
and 1 philospher noble with the powers of quantum confusion where any living mortal withing 100 yards must make a cover ears check or believe the philosphers philosophy for 5 turns

the philosphers starting philosphy is set at "the spice must flow" though what the hell spice is is up to the listener.

[sonerohi]

I'll invoke subsection 2a.) Late starters, under subsection "Sucks You Weren't Here Sooner" of the handbook, which states anyone starting on page 19 is given two Rhesus Macaques, and a two-humped camel. I'll start as near to the chasm as possible, rolling for a 3 to have the chasm make my units skeletal. Rolled a 6, units stay normal, but are loitering near the chasm.

[Vengeful Donut]

Due to the rule of assumption, I am assumed to have made a very clever move on turn five. I'm am going to invoke Thormguld's Gambit to retroactively invest my schisty artifact point on that turn.
It has had enough time to mature so by the Chapter 36, "Ways to get rid of various rocks" of the Geologist's Handbook, Final Revised Edition, I spend all 700 of my schisty artifact points to de-schist the board.
Since Armok's negation negation field is in effect on the entire field, all squared are de-de-schisted instead so all active units except the philisopher are encased in schist. (what a schisty way to go)

[TheDJ17]

Using shady rule expansion pack The Tortise and the Haircut I'll start with 3 Legendary Gem Cutters and roll for a Google search.

I roll a 7.
Google redirects to Cat.net.gov
The gem cutters are all killed by a skeletal Platapus.

[PTTG??]

You are both fined 12,000 points due to the Necromancy Penalty and must sit out half of a turn. However, you are granted two zombie thread tokens each.

I accuse the hammerer, in most rooms and the corridors, with the hammer.

[TheNewerMartianEmperor]

Congratulations! According to your basic dwarven whodunit rules, you get a hammering!

According to the well-known rulebook Oldbeard's book of ancient mutterings as soon as I enter play, I can roll a die to see if I am able to summon the man himself to the table.

It is a 6! Thus, I place him.

[PTTG??]

You neglected to check for _{Greblus' subterfuge Gambit}, according to which I can both accuse a target and be that target at the same time.
As I am in actuality the hammerer, I can't hammer myself. Thus, I have to go to the nearest semantic counterpart to that, which is to go get hammered. I collect 1200 alcohol tokens.