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Author Topic: TACTICUS  (Read 47726 times)

DuncanFrost

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Re: TACTICUS
« Reply #240 on: February 20, 2008, 05:26:00 am »

Under the Pantshelm rules, if the previous turn was Lacklusture, Failing, Tiny or Effortless, that player automatically loses all but 1d6 victory points and units. Taking advantage of this, my Legendary Comedian (who survived the ballista bolt by Move 'Zig'), instantly causes the ratman spy to split his sides with laughter. Entrails shoot out of the wound!
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Kagus

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Re: TACTICUS
« Reply #241 on: February 20, 2008, 05:40:00 am »

I trip over a pile of clutter on the floor and careen into the table, knocking the game board and all the pieces on it to the floor, thus defeating all the currently fielded units of every army.


Much confusion is caused by the scramble to get the pieces back onto the table, and all players have to roll a score of 4 or higher on a 1d8 chance for each of their units to keep them, otherwise that unit joins the independent faction and becomes hostile to all players.

I am otherwise not involved, and continue passing by.

Armok

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Re: TACTICUS
« Reply #242 on: February 20, 2008, 08:47:00 am »

quote:
Originally posted by Kagus:
<STRONG>I trip over a pile of clutter on the floor and careen into the table, knocking the game board and all the pieces on it to the floor, thus defeating all the currently fielded units of every army.


Much confusion is caused by the scramble to get the pieces back onto the table, and all players have to roll a score of 4 or higher on a 1d8 chance for each of their units to keep them, otherwise that unit joins the independent faction and becomes hostile to all players.

I am otherwise not involved, and continue passing by.</STRONG>



Yells at Kagus and then reverse time restoring the board to its former state, however this duplicates everything so EVERY piece ever played on that board is returned.
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Dwarven Malcolite

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Re: TACTICUS
« Reply #243 on: February 20, 2008, 11:58:00 pm »

I roll anyway... a 62!
If you are interested, my d8 contains the numbers 4, 78, 92.439782 and 1/2, pi, e, eleventy-billion, 63, and sideways infinity. this is legal, as established by the first rulebook's third supplement's fifteenth round of errata.

This means that not only do I get to keep my original units, but I also get to apply this to all of my d8 rolls in the future, should I choose to do so. I also get to spawn a (cave spider silk left sock) covered in *mermaid blood* in the still. This, as we should all know from our copies of Mythological Menaces, permanently causes all alcohol on the map to be transmuted into distilled mermaid blood. Delicious! This also applies to all alcoholic items that in the future enter the map.

Further, it seems that I now have my philosopher, my woodcutter, and my kitten, who returns to me as per the Original Ownership Agreements, and with the kitten a *Live Carpsilk Yarndwarf* that menaces with spikes of beard.

Given that, I get the Legendary Ballista Bolt to find the parents of that annoying Comedian of DuncanFrost and kill them before they reproduce. As a result of this, the Comedian disappears from existence. (remember that the meme sent us back to AD 2101, and games of Tactitus traditionally start in the year AD 2501. Also, note that by the Mandatory Time Travel Tropes, this plan will succeed) Unfortunately, it seems my woodcutter was a halfbrother of the comedian of DuncanFrost, so he too vanishes. With him vanishes the walls and fortifications he built, which happens to be all of them. Oops.

Finally, I once again have .4 points, so I once again cast Mass !!ignite!! on all blood on the field.

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DuncanFrost

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Re: TACTICUS
« Reply #244 on: February 21, 2008, 02:52:00 pm »

quote:
I invoke rule 9001.1/0.*, paragraph -4, which allows me to join the game with a starting bonus of 2500 points. Unfortunately, I am also forced to only start with nobles. Therefore, I will take one Adamantite King, allowing me to summon four gremlins per turn, as per rule 90124.56.3.7, which also gives my king to power to go up or down one z-level per turn.
My king levitates, summons four gremlins on triangle 45a, and ends his turn.

As all previous units have returned to the board, I gain four gremlins and an Adamantite King. Unfortunately, as the meme sent us back in time AND Armok reversed time, this has created a singularity vortex, sucking in all my units and creating a King Quadgremlin, which has a damblock of 7500 and a speed of 1. As this counts as Transmogrification, he also becomes a Legendary Comedian.
I unleash fourteen golden bolts of goo at the Elves, preventing them from entering the board.

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Armok

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Re: TACTICUS
« Reply #245 on: February 21, 2008, 06:21:00 pm »

quote:
Originally posted by DuncanFrost:
<STRONG>

As all previous units have returned to the board, I gain four gremlins and an Adamantite King. Unfortunately, as the meme sent us back in time AND Armok reversed time, this has created a singularity vortex, sucking in all my units and creating a King Quadgremlin, which has a damblock of 7500 and a speed of 1. As this counts as Transmogrification, he also becomes a Legendary Comedian.
I unleash fourteen golden bolts of goo at the Elves, preventing them from entering the board.</STRONG>



Now THAT is skillful playing! You have captured the essence of TACTICUS and have you points multiplied by 42 -3. Amazing!  :)

(OOC: really, you have actually managed to make a very skillful move in a game whit arbitrary rules, that ought to be impossible per definition!)

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Bovinepro

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Re: TACTICUS
« Reply #246 on: February 21, 2008, 06:46:00 pm »

I shiftly join the game by akwardly trying to impress everyone with a backflip so that they feel sorry for me, and attempt to place three dwarven mechanics in the northeasternly corner of the board and field 10 ballistas on the far far north-easternly corner of the board, and order my dwarves to begin building traps around my ballista ( 5 facing south, 5 facing west ) and place one trap card face down. Additionally, due to my dwarves being outfitted with anti-anti-talismans, anything beggening with the phrase "anti" has absolutely no effect on them whatsoever.

... that is, of course, If I get the standard 5 points granted to players entering the game late, as set by the Obscure Panthelom's Plump rule of the 3rd rulebook, unrated edition...

[ February 21, 2008: Message edited by: Bovinepro ]

[ February 21, 2008: Message edited by: Bovinepro ]

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penguinofhonor

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Re: TACTICUS
« Reply #247 on: February 21, 2008, 07:21:00 pm »

.
« Last Edit: October 20, 2015, 09:42:23 pm by penguinofhonor »
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Bovinepro

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Re: TACTICUS
« Reply #248 on: February 21, 2008, 08:14:00 pm »

Because you gained a cat, I activate my "every dwarf has his day" trap card which summons three "fluffys" ( or , more commonly known as cerberui). These three headed dogs enter at X-50-Y-104 ( the middle - top of the board ) thus scaring the elves they are so close behind into speeding their travel into the bolts of glob hurled by the moster that previously attempted to slow them down.
This is a theoretical fielding, but because they never were on the board, theoretically I can field the cerbui from behind the elves... off the board! In addition to this, my ballistas and mechanics are reinforced with 10 wardogs trained to use picks who precede to build a fortress in the corner that the said ballistas and mechanics now occupy.

The dogs ( the cerbui, not the wardogs ) have a speed of 666, can attack three times a turn, occupy all z- levels but the top one, and are 10 spaces wide. They are completely immune to any and all spells or effects that one might call "denomic" or "evil" since they are evil themselves ; thus invoking the "no homo effecto" rule, making all fire creatures immune to fire, etc.

Lastly I would like to field a legion of flesh eating cows behind by cerubi, thus using my remaining point and ending my turn.

[ February 21, 2008: Message edited by: Bovinepro ]

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Dwarven Malcolite

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Re: TACTICUS
« Reply #249 on: February 22, 2008, 12:01:00 am »

Recall rule 3: Rules, once invoked for a game, are not revoked unless stated otherwise, and persist through any and all changes in board, game, round, turn, game-state, location, either physical or metaphorical, et cetera, unless otherwise stated.
What this means is that all rules, rulings, laws, and similar that have been used during the life of this thread are still in effect unless they have been explicitly undone, and so I have listed most of the rules, laws, gambits, and similar for ease of reference. I've also added the point value of a few objects and actions. The purpose of this is so that we all know what has happened, and so we can ensure that no contradiction occurs. The fact that, by the rules laid out in the very first game of Tacticus during the Time before the Time before Time, in the event that no clerk has made themselves known and done such a log, the first player to compile such a log of invoked rules gains 666 victory points and instantly discovers and fully researches one of the five Antaran Xs had nothing to do with my motivation.
As a side effect of this, I've quoted pretty much every participant in this thread in this post.
Also, as this is a Near-Legendary Undertaking, I am excused all typos and grammatical errors that may infest this log.

Oh, and I move my kitten swarm of 86 kittens to coordinates d3, F15, αe.

Without further ado, Most of the rulings used so far:

Pantshelm rules clearly state that we make up rules as we go along, and no rule can contradict any other rule.
Rule 1a (Making Up Rules) should have obvious ramifications

Rule two: "The objective of the game of Tacticus is to win."
The game is to be won with awesomeness, as it clearly states in the opening chapter of rule 1 (a-z).

Recall that all commands from the game of DF can be utilized in Tacticus.

Invoke the "rule of sudden combat ajoinment" to place 300 [[baby domesticated animal]] tokens on the [[direction]] edge of the field.

Under pantsheim new players are immune to alcohol poisoning for four turns, under pantshelm they recieve it at double rate.

Use "Sudden Breeding" to multiply the number of [[creature]] in the [[location]] by sixteen.

If in a cage made out of moldy toenails, one must make a saving throw agaisnt mold or suffer 3 nose damage.

The double blind rule, which makes suicides invoke two bad thoughts, is active.

Mines, Farms, Stills, Dormitory, Workshops, Great Hall, Fortifications, Gate, River, Forest, Treasury, Metalworks -somehow related.

Mild earthquake: Anything standing on the ground is fine. Anything swimming in water didn't notice, anything in a tree has fallen out. If there is a magma shaft (and there always is) anything alive in the magma is feeling motion sick, and the chance of an eruption before the game is over has doubled.

the rule of consecutive alignment: Whenever a kitten or cat adopts, they switch to the team of the adoptee. However, this allows the original controllers to gain control of an equal or lesser value of points/objects/creatures, should they desire.

rule 23a sect. 4-8: all actions are worth -0.8 pts. less than normal when more than 87 kittens are involved.

The elves arrive in two to four turns from the start of a game or round, and they're serious about naming each tree.
If the players are fast enough to fell all the trees before the elves arrive they will be extremely disappointed and start naming plump helmets instead

The blood resulting from attacks on the mascot animal of a site spreads at a steadily increasing rate for the next four years OR 8 dwarves simultaneous get the cleaning job.

the Bronzefaith Gambit: Place a squad of goblin invaders (a mix of swords-, bow- and macegoblins - let's say 10, 4 and 12 respectively) right in the middle of square QA6, Z-level 0. I'm sure you can see where this leads.

A crown, a scepter, a ring and a idol, all of bone: 6 points if constructed on site by one creature.

rule 4042.5, subsection 3c: "Raw Editing Powers" This ability should be self-obvious.
However,according to  the "Past Rule Revocation" decision from the 744 World Cup of Tacticus game, all Raw Editing is hereby removed, and further editing is forbidden.

the undermine gambit: suiciding a miner to collapse the [[building]]

The mandatory-partner Crystal Spines rules: Choose an available partner on your next turn for combined score
Anyone who has not made an ally before the elves arrive automatically loses (players joining the game after the elves arrive have a three turn amnestry during which they may form an alliances or they lose the game).
the mandatory partner Crystal Spindes rules, 5th edition version, allow  players controlling no units other than dwarves to move dwarf units belonging to an ally once every third turn.

The "free-for-all" option, for 10 players or more, allows attacking on the first turn.

seizing the still nonviolently scores 3 points under most circumstances

the Granite Table maneuver: Whenever a unit flees, all "animals" must cluster around him, so long as there are less than 27 felsite thongs in play, causing the unit in question to bounce around like a pinball. This is triggered by, among other things, woodcutters fleeing from groundhogs near fortifications.

the rumredrumred rumredrumed rumred variation: all units upon appearence on the field become possessed. (not active)

Operation Impossible Anthill allows one to place objects in locations that they normally are not allowed.

the Secret Alliance maneuver allows one to chose a non-Dwarven race, write it somewhere, and not reveal it. In four turns that race will send in 10 CR worth of reinforcements, of the players choosing, unless anyone assaults land they control ) or attempts to attack any of thier in-play units.

Rule 42 of less-than-infinate-unlikelyness allows one to invoke the Michael-Baxter precedence and place a [[color]]-nosed ridge-back scalyfin Dragon whelp carrying [[number less than 50]] felsite thongs at +[[2,5,13,27,83, or 999]] levels above, or in near vicinity to, the [[siege engine of choice]].
Having a carrying capacity of only 25 felsite thongs, the Dragon whelp plummets to the ground if carrying more than 25 felsite thongs, on impact killing a small [[mammal currently on the board]] named [[name]], which yields 1,3 points per felsite thong over the carry limit. Enraged, the remaining [[same mammals]] equip small sharpened sticks and rush to the trees, startling a small pack of amphibious olms, causing a very slow stampede towards the [[occupied location]]. Said stampede will arrive in aproximately 236 turns.

the rule of assumption: Players are assumed to have made a very clever move, multiplying all points for this round by a factor of [[characters involved in the comments plus one]].

catapulting a felsite rock is grounds for the Hoary Marmot Defense...

the Random Noble Arrival rule: a [[random noble]] dwarf arrives at the cages and in 0-3 turns he will make up a demand. This is only available to players who have constructed and thus control a cage.

rule 993-e(9-11) from the 4th edition expansion pack "Dwarven Exhibionism": If a dwarven king arrives on the board, in the event of 2½+ deers overtaking a brewery, he is forced to remove his *Diorite Thong*. This causes 1d3 Ultimate Horror Damage to everything on the gameboard without the [BLIND] tag, and 1d6+1 Horrible Mental Image Damage to anyone unlucky enough to read this post (Unless they are wearing sunglasses).

feed 5 dwarves to his elephant to bring it to defcon level C. Six, defcon level ampersand.

Spikes of while bone? +2 vs aquatics.

Construct "an image of a elephant in cedar. The elephant is striking a menacing pose. On them is an image of giant eagles. The eagles are withering away." to raise an elephant eight defcon levels and set all eagles on fire.

Fey mood a [[rock]] artifact that includes at least four decorations, on of the [[rock]] in [[rock]]? Gain one [[rock]]y artifact point.

A goblin sapper at square [[letter]][[number]], can use  Illusory Correlation power to plant a !!spider silk mitten!! 2 tiles away from the [[Building not more than 16 tiles away from placed tile]], forcing all dwarves in the vicinity to go: "Ooh, shiny!" and run to pick it up, causing 1d6 fire damage to the AI.

ridiculous decisions result in a humor-based +3 Morale bonus for the controllers units

Designate ability boost on [[another player's creatures]] to give them legendary +5 [[skill]] .

"Screw Physics" gives all creatures the activator of "Screw Physics controls [FLIER].

section 3000.4 clause XYZ: you can substitute felsite thongs for catapults, but you'd miss out on the +25 Nasty Underwear bonus.

Lick your elbow for an extra agility bonus (one time only, per player, per thread)

Tamed Grues are 45 points
there is a one move window in which one can leave a dark place before the grue gets them.

"well, dirt is kinda like trees" semi-bylaw: Woodcutters can do everything miners can do.

rule 1337 subsection h4-x0r: all non-elves who look at a named tree, the number of which double each turn, spend one turn going saying "WHAT?!?"

undead and/or many headed monsters get -4 morale for refusing to help a multi-headed undead.

Chapter 1, section 57, subsection 2, header II.iv, in the "exceptions" sidebar, under Elephant defcon movement effects, controls elephant movement under defcon levels.

Thrown trees behave as if they were wooden ballista bolts.

invoking the "incremental additions" rule gives the player an increasing number of immigrants each turn starting this turn. The amount increases by once each turn from the roll of a six-sided dice. This rule resets between rounds.

rule 36z, section 8c, subsection 78, paragraph 5 states "all new units (immigrants, creatures, races, etc) who join the battle on the side of one who has added tags (flier, amphibious, etc) are also affected by the tag."

When the new harvest moon is ascendant over the constellation Deaftours the Unkind Purpleness of Fortifying, starting the next turn it is Deathskull Eve and all dwarf corpses and fractions of dwarf corpses should enter play as self-animated undead under the control of the player with the most undead on the board.
Due to the deathskull eve substandard skill allocation rule (revised), animal tamers are also grand master mechanics.
Only undead with skulls count toward total number of undead.
Deathskull eve only effects dwarven pieces.

gravity notices: All creatures under control of [[player]] lose the tag [[FLIER]]. This causes them to fall. If over a chasm, this is fatal. Over other things, maybe, maybe not.
Gravity notices is instantaneous, not ongoing

As per the 3rd edition Pantshelm rules, purchasing a unit on the current turn does not cost any moves.

Ninjas are trained to act independently and have thier own move count.

Renacting a scene from a book, story or movie that another recognizes without having it pointed out to them is worth 5 points.

Any creature wishing to approach extremely ripe cheese must no make a Smell check and a Fortitude check at a DC of 25, or be affected as by Concentrated Miasma, taking 4d6 nose damage and becoming dazed for 2d3 rounds. Undead, Ultra-Tough [[creatures]] and creatures with no nose are immune to this effect.

Rule 76b, section z, subsection Ω, paragraph Φ allows one to secretly place trade requests.

Magma vents provides light to fortresses as per the alternative rules for magma as found in the rulebook Magma Mystique

By 1a, in the event that if at any time anything is dead (undead counts, animated/inanimate objects do not) within the Treasury the entire board is reset, the world is rerolled, and anyone who was in possession of a Toy Axe must type their next four turns entirely in-character.

Rule 117 of Pregame Asset Placement allows for the burial of anything up to and including thermonuclear warheads on the field prior to officially joining a game.

Unknown Bug 72: When a Wilted Plump Helmet is walked over by the gem setter ten times, it transforms into a Beeve.
Unknown Bug 73, Beeves spawn more beeves in every unoccupied square around themselves.

5th edition's relaboring rule (subsection c.5.4) allow one to apply the legendary stat boosts from two out of every three dead fey dwarves one used to control to an equal amount of living ones.
the relaboring rule (subsection f.7.q5) one to allocate the stats to a skill different from the one they gained legendary status in if the products of the original are lost

Insults to the game of Tacticus can send players into a blind fury, canceling initial plans of opening but invoking Pantshelm rule C-1 subsection 12 line two, which allows a player to summon a dimensional rift. Such a rift may only be summoned once every 27 turns.

the Observer Initiation Clause, found in appendix 768-04, allows a person who has been watching but not actively playing to move the philosopher into the treasury, taking control of it for 4.234512 points and putting out the lights. If no such unit exits, it is created.

a massive, disgusting orgy of awfulness gives creatures such as trolls a +30% boost to their morale. Please do not narrate said action(s).

Rule 74c(i)(a)(iv) can be invoked to throw all [[invaders]] of a type to a randomly determined position and z-level.

super noble fun variation allows one to declare themselves Baron if they control a crown and a secpter and a ring, for 6 noble points times the number of heads. Nobles can commandeer locations where no other nobles are. We are using this variation.

thanks to the Gica Sareve dispute, it is not technically required for one to display whether or not an object has been decorated.

rule b2 406.1092allows players to join under the title "person who got lost but has all right to join seeing as he found his destination and it is engulfed in a game of taxticus"

rule 325, section two "Instant Ettin Grenades" allows one to use ettin eggs for an obvious purpose.

A negation negation zone negates the negation of any unit entering it. For example, if a an undead entered the zone, it would become un-un-dead. Since there is only one possible negation collapse for this situation, it would be dead. On the other hand, if an antisocial counterintelligence agent were to enter the zone, it would become an anti-antisocial counter-counterintelligence agent. Counter-counterintelligence does not collapse at all: this is now an agent that works against counterintelligence. On the other hand, anti-antisocial has two options (the choice would be up to the controller): it could either collapse into the opposite of antisocial; namely social. Or it could be someone who doesnt like antisocials.

A sharpening reallocation zone treats all piercing damage dealt inside the zone as blunt damage and all blunt damage as piercing damage. Any %chance of stuckin is unaffected.

Philosophers have a reality warping effect and can rationalize units out of existance.

torches  were introduced in the handbook "The Amazingness of Wood"

Init. Alteration allows one to change the init options from NO to YES or YES to NO, but only for up to three units at a time. This can allow, for instance, certain units to ignore temp. or rent.

we are playing without Undead Body Parts.

when the board has been reset multiple in flaggrante blueshift fluxuations are caused, and so players are allowed to bring either a) A total of one (1) unit from the previous board, OR b) The sum of your remaining points from the last round of the previous board.

general Rule of Assumption (3rd edition, section 34z "Rules about ruling about rules", subsection "Make an ass out of you and you", second paragraph, third line) states that players are assumed to have made a very clever move each of thier previous rounds,

as per Pantshelm rules for specializations, both Ninjas ang Grues are [SPECIAL].
Losing a [SPECIAL] causes a loss of 50% of ones total points, based on the maximum point value at the start of calculations.

rulebook n: VERY special events and pie-creation, allows the engaging of rule n6-007b: seed selection.

"crono-update-sequential-advancement" allows adventurers to use Dwarf Mode Skills. It has been activated.

wall 386 of Pantshelm's Hall of Rules, specifically the engraving titled "Itchnuts the Ancient Pain of Balls" allows one to  change the settings on the main food stockpile to accept only bags of sand.

if one makes a play, and then exploded thier head, they probably could go for the Disability bonus. Subsection B-1, 3rd edition: "Players who are deemed "kinda slow" by a collective panel of Batmen get an extra turn at the start of the game, as long as not more than 3 rounds have already been played. This rule is only valid as long as said player does NOT start with the Adamantine Scepter of Unruliness, in which case he is DEDUCTED one turn due to the general rule of "unfair play"." "unfair play" is only applicable as long as you're on the Fairway

the class inventory tables for retaining followers, found in appendix 15d spleen 33E-m, state that rangers are retained with a complete set of *<<Fox>>*, all of which menace with spikes of Obsidian, a -Lead Flask- with 3 water, a (Steel Crossbow) and 42 Steel Bolts. Said ranger is a grand high master marksman.

the precedent of the 842 Oncol Gengar games allowed that Ballista were giant crossbows and as such, the marksdwarf skill applies to them as well.

in accordance with Appendix E of the Emergency Rulebook of Anti-Confusion, if you pretend that you understand the rules and that you know what's going on, it is assumed that your moves are legal by default.

By the dictates of Default Core Rule X-22/5 (remember to slide the decimal to the right), one can invoke the Assumed Rule of Assumption (this particular instance is covered on the third page of the aforementioned rule section), by which any Crystal Spines rules currently in effect cannot be carried between board states. We have invoked this.

by the Unexplained Severing of Ties rule, all players are assumed to have broken all alliances due to exploding tempers over nonexistent squabbles whenever a new board is created.

One gains the advantage of the Broken Billy Goat Effect if they never read the last page of the version three rulebook. This, combined with the compensation for entering the game late, allows one who fulfills the above qualification to enter play with 3 bronze billy goat colossi at a point of thier choosing.

"Assumption of Secretive Possession By Animated Statues" causes players to control any territory possessed by thier collossi.

the wealthiest player in this game has the ability to bring an Extreme Banker noble into play within 5 turns unless thier current state is drastically altered. How drastic an alteration is will be determined by the council of batmen that determine disabilities. If they do not survive until then, they are assumed to have ruled in the player's favor.

If objects are in a nonexistant location, they to do not exist.

If the banker is angered, roll a die. If it lands heads up he/she/it stays.

the UltraBanker has the exact same effects as the Extreme Banker but requires one less coffer. This is according to the Guidelines for Wealth-Based Advantages

the Illusory Area Rules state that any location that existed previously but does not at the current state exists until a unit is moved to that area or the area is interacted with, at which point the area dissapears. The rules do say that one keeps any bonuses they get due to controlling the area, even if the area then dissapears, until the board state is reevaluated.
Of course, this does not apply for new areas or areas that still exist.

According to the Critical Locations Control table  conquest over the trade depot earns an extra 1000 points.

based on the Enemy Engagement Proclamation, units can be ordered to attack any opposition in an 8 tile radius of them.

5th edition, chapter 3, section 4-B, subsection alfalfa clearly states that unit control loss is less or not equal to/than losing a unit by Death and/or extreme loss of bowel function pointwise.
subsection asparagus covers the event of undeath.

appendix C (Magical Items) of the first edition of the Pantshelm rulebook, under the heading Greater Rings of Power, shows that many of the Greater Rings bestowed invisibility on the bearer. the SECOND edition rulebook in the same section says that prolonged exposure to and/or use of such items will transform any non-celestial living being into an incorporeal undead bound to the ring.

as per the Rosenborg feint presedence, one can not be penalized in any way for omitting to mention any rule that is not a main rule, wether intentional or not.

Emergency Action 98c subsection Omega to can be used to call the Ghostbusters and/or Chuck Norris if it all goes to pot, but only by unanimous decree. Emergency Action 98c is only useable in situations directly involving either terrorists, giant robots, the 80's, or living Jell-o. If needed the Multitude may be substituted for the Jell-o, though the situation must in that case also include cultists serving members thereof. This may cause a copyright problem, to be resolved as noted below.

Emergency Action § may be applied should the situation require Bruce Willis, Darth Vader, or the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers. In addition subsection 4é of that Action allows for the summoning (via 5.3-man summoning circle; see the additional rulebook "Summoning Circles for Dummies") of Kratos or James Bond if gratuitous violence is required.
Thi smay also result in a copyright problem.

in accordance with the papersmith judgement, rock salt buildings prevent ghost attacks. Also, fey moods prevent other forms of possession.

Kings have a special demand ability you can read about in the Second Edition of the Nobles And Certain Death book, page 173. According to the table, the controller of a king or queen gets to flip 3 coins and throw 3 dice, then choose the demand from the charts. If the demand is meet the player who gave him the [[demanded item]] gets to pick a reward from page 143. Those who fail to meet the demand before another player does gets a random punishment from the table on page 176.

rule 10.122451½ from The Great Book of Tacticus And Herding of Goats (Players joining right after a demand for snailbone rings has been made) allows new players to place ninety-nine [[Kobold or any of the plants included in the TACTICUS 45th expansion "Fucknuts and Other Strange Vegetation" ]] tokens, each with an amputated left hand, on the gameboard if a player joins after a demand for snailbone rings ahs been made.

As in The Book of Failures Concerning Dice, dicerolls are handled as a 0 if the die is lost.

the "Peculiar Language Translation" booklet came with the 3rd edition expansion pack, "Weird goats and other rules"

The Area Bonuses List, part of Tacticus since the Time before Time, states that the controller of the Trade Depot controls the Import Agreements.

Sacrifice is instantaneous.

Time is Money

mules ignore further orders and set about getting themselves stuffed into hollow trees by passing greater molochs upon entering small groves (rule book 7331 "random creatures and other copie right law infringments")

rule #1973 edition 22: "all players who are a jello cube count as there own unit"

rule EA1 (Emergency Action 1), "when a player is left with no units or left with less than 3 hoary marmots, he may immediately buy items and units spending not more than 50 points, immedately upon ending his turn. Any units purchased in this manner are allowed one move, as long as it is not an attack, nor squatting on the potty."

the "Presence of Absence" rule can be used when one is locked out of the game-state for reasons beyond thier control.
to fill in as substitute Random Events Referee "...until the primary Random Events Referee returns, dead, undead or alive, or a new primary Random Events Referee is chosen by a 84/149th majority of all players in Utah"

rule 55.xv5, revision sixty two, version 5, second sentence on the fourth page, regarding Unlimited Player Space and Infinite Expansion of The Playing Field: "No rule may be invoked that might possibly prevent a new player from joining the game. If all current playing space is unavailable, the board may be expanded infinitely in all directions until there is room for the new player's opening move. If even this space is not enough, nonexistent areas will be added into legally available playspaces as referenced in Nonexistent PlaySpaces and Dealings Thereof (Appendix Z.A, page 345.5, written in invisible microprint on the outer edge of the page)."

In the event that a player lacks complete knowledge of the board, thier units have both a Field of Protective Ignorance, and 5 Quanta-Positional Uncertainty counters each, granting them complete invisibility until they are directly observed, and granting them pseudo-invulnerability until more is known about the board.
Units in such a state provide thier controller an immunity from losing the game, due to thier quantum natures.

"Shrodinger's Book of Tacticus" has a 50/50 chance of existing in any given game. (In our game, it does)

The rule "Ignorance is Strength", found in rulebook Nonsense, allows the placing of up to 10 units of the players choosing wherever they choose if they forget the type and number of thier units.

"Dig! Dig! Dig to the depths!" allows non-dwarf animals to mine downwards. It must be activated per creature type, per player.

"Accidently" killing your own noble nets 10 killing Noble points.

a  + 10 arboreal bonus to is awarded to a players Charisma score for 1d4 rounds, as per section 12b of the "Arbitrary rules that rule" expansion ruleset for 3rd edition Pantshelm, if they have a Wizard or equivalent unit in the woods.

the small wild strawberry field next to the river contains a total of [[Random number between 64 and 107]] wild strawberries in the field. Any creature venturing too close to the field will be bitten for (The amount of strawberries in the field)d2 damage. The controller of the creature in question will also have to roll dice to see if the bite was especially dangerous according to the "Argh, It Bit Me!" table, included in the original 4th edition book of Tacticus

rule b2 406.1092,  allows anyone to join in.

If Fale Siegerdriven is summoned to the field, in accordance with rule K.1464896, or "What happens when Fale Siegedriven is summoned," Fale will give a 10+ Morale bonus to all of her kobolds. However, it will unfortunately have the side-effect of taking her and her army three (3) turns to get to the playing field. This is negated if the elves arrive before her, in accordance with rule J.3127 as she will follow them into the field because they are more tolerant of "lesser" species and allowed her to follow. (Elves will, however, always arrive in two turns from the start when this rule is invoked on turns one through two...)

Per rule 995.2A, "Purely Optional Fluff for Incoming Players", new players can roll on the Random Incoming Entity Table twice.
27 --> Human Merchant Representative, 2 Human Bodyguards (Swordsmen)
pi squared --> an irrational number of rhesus macaques

The Human Trade Representative immediately attempts to locate the dwarven Broker. If there is no broker, the Human Merchant Representative wanders randomly, but is required to stay in areas judged to cause the greatest number of pathing issues possible. If no broker can be found after 4 turns, the Human Trade Representative goes insane and is killed by his own bodyguards, who then return to the capital, collect their pay, and tell the human king that the dwarves killed the trade representative. Humans may invade starting 4 turns later.

The irrational number of rhesus macaques are required to steal an irrational number of =granite flutes= and then run off the map.

ule 7992.1A from the Expandable Expendable Errata, "...vermin of a good nature (i.e. fairies) are immune to bites from surprisingly aggressive fruits, considering that they are already quite fruity themselves," but in such events 2 points are awarded to the owner of the fruit patch due to the fairy dust bonus.

rule 6 § 56745686487 allows one to join the game and start as a nation of extra-fluffy 6 armed deers(yes, 6 arms and 4 legs).

rule 5542d0 under "Things To Make The Gamesystem Even Easier To Exploit" states that, prior to play, an individual may be appointed to be clerk. The clerk's sole responsibility is to keep records of the game in play. The clerk does not participate, unless Exception 2368a5 is enacted.

ule 2691 subsection B of the 3rd edition allows the invoking of the observer right of weather adjustment, whereby any observer who has not yet made a move may adjust the weather to his/her liking.

Blood multiplies at a rate of 5B^4 per turn where B=amount of blood at the beginning of the turn.

100 points can get you a flying elf elephant dragon carp

An entering Lurker can Arbitrarily administer the articles concerning alliterative titles and their ensuing consequences - All players must now take an alliterative title, and accept the consequences of said title. This has been arbitrarilly administered.

"Illuminated Illuvitar, the ispiringly insipid imp" is the title of MindSnap, who as a result of said title accepts the consequence of owning everything in any way related to top, middle or bottom earth, including 49% of a certain undead ghost-ninjah that happens to be an elf. With ninja stars.  Also, in Mindsnap's own text, "However, as it's location is still unknown, the ninja gains the intrinsic ability to exist anywhere, at any time, and because of the heisenburg uncertainty principle, as his location is unknown his speed may be ascertained, which is equal to warp e. Warp has it's own problems... Specifically, as the star trek universe cannot co-exist with the dwarf fortress one, and the DF universe is rather more applicable in this situation, warp does not exist. Because warp speeds are greater than the speed of light, the ninja has it's speed parsed down to light's and because of special relativity, time is at a standstill for the ninja and it cannot decide where to go with ti's infinite speed. However, if time EVER starts again it is sure to flip out and kill EVERYTHING, effectively murdering all non-undead in play."

the Law of Unconfirmed Locations allows one to confirm where the location of thier controlled territory is if it is not known.

at the 659 Games of The Ironbay Abbey-Trials of Garters, it was decided that if part of the option could be obstructed to form a new option, the new option could be built. For instance, anything that can make "Weapon racks" can make "weapons."

.4 points can be used to cast mass !!ignite!! on all [[non-water liquid]] on the map. This move is based off the notorious Golden Tablesalted The Crystal Councils of Toga defense, which was instrumental in the victory of Urist Cableclaws the Shining Tigerforge over all comers at Leanforged, a cave, in 1023.

Crazy Cultist Calling Crafty Cats; Caves can count canny camels. This allows DwarvenMalcolite to influence the minds of any cultist on the field, The title also causes all camel cheese to rot the moment it gets on the map unless within a natural cavern. It may also render DwarvenMalcolite and said players units immune to felines but cause them to suffer allergic reactions of various intensities to other objects.

Rule 11-B/11-C subsection alpha "The rule of Ultimate Assumption". By this rule the invoker is assumed to have achieved no less than second place, possibly first at the conclusion of this game of Tacticus. Sadly, games of Tacticus never Conclude, and many players can share second.

Rule A.9319 or "Summoning of various creatures. Where from, we don't care." allows the summoning of a single [[intellegent creature]]

the Banhammer automatically inflicts a mangle on any flaming objects it hits, at the cost of removing the fire from that object. It also has the effect of making all Trolls now ignite objects when either raging or throwing things.
According to the Oversilk Decision in the Third Masterwork Tournament of Oventurnip Round 83: Day 207, this also means that anything hit by an object thrown by a Troll ignites to such a degree that it will take an amount of board resets equal to the absolute value of the difference of ninja and non-ninja units at the time of ignition before the flames go out. However, if the number of undead are greater than the total number of ninja and non-undead non-ninja units, then all ninja are instead ignited.
If the use of the "!!My Board is on Fire!!" rule found on page 287.93 in the "Lava, Magma, and You" supplement is applied, then setting the ninja on fire in this manner means that the ninja lose their sneaking abilities but instead ignite anything within 2 spaces of them or even targeted by one of their ranged attacks. However, if we choose to ignore it, then that means that Magma Men can gain sneaking abilities of Ninja if the Magma Man kills the Ninja without either touching the other.

Units not possesing wooden objects are immune to Elven Snideness.

The "Injuries and Ammunition" rule in "How to Benefit From an Idiot Military" comes into play if an ammunition hits a target, and the target's controller then controls the ammunition.

using the "I like dragons version 2.17 revised turbo edition" rules new players may summon a dragon and a cake.

The "Greiger hasn't had his Dr Pepper" rule gives Grieger (2/1¼-3)*0 points per typo or grammatical error.

Kyselina has activated her special ability, "Invisible AFKER," which grants all that she controls total invisibility as log as "PLAYERNAME has not posted in three or more hours" is TRUE.

due to rule 18793 of "things and such no one reads"  any player in possession of a named mule who has not killed a adventurer imports thier items directly from the giants. This means all items they import are Giant-sized.

Rule 3 Section 5, first paragraph: "If an arguement can't be concluded safely, the person with the first letter of their name closest to A wins the arguement by default."
Note that the alpabet goes cabdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz in the universe this rule was created in, and that the alphabet wraps. IE, use cabdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzcabdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyz.

Pantshelm legacy rules, Page 462, Section 3a "All nobles generate ludicus mandates and demands upon arrival"

...summoning causes a loss of 0.12 realities per summoned creature, double the amount for outlanders, elder gods and dragons...  If summoning wears reality too thin, Bad Things Happen, as decided by the Random Event Referee

Appendix F5: Temperature and Combustion explicitly states that fire has Legendary +5 ambush, which explains why so many dwarves fail to notice it

Emergency Rule 526, Code Alpha Five Sixty-Six. "Should the game be abandoned suddenly, with no obvious cause, the first player to make a turn before the game is officially terminated gains the right claim the title of TactiMaster. This person gains the temporary right to make changes at will, until he/she is removed from his/her position. The TactiMaster can be removed by a vote of six people. One person's vote will be nullified before counting, as determined by a roll of 1d6. Also, until the TactiMaster's reign has been terminated, all of his/her units and other in-game property are considered NPC." Currently, the position of TactiMaster is held by Sylverone.

rule 29437593 subsection 1923: large named floodgates start with a impossible artifact lever.

rule 9001.1/0.*, paragraph -4, allows new players to join the game with a starting bonus of 2500 points. But, they only get Nobles.

Adamantite Kings can summon four gremlins per turn, as per rule 90124.56.3.7, which also gives the king to power to go up or down one z-level per turn.

rule 1876 of the IIIrd rulebook (Halburg edition), "natural radiation resistance" can be invoked on units a player controls. This is instantaneous, and does not apply to units brought into existance after the rule is invoked. This has obvious effects.

Players can, at will, invoke rule 1547 ("Clothmadness") of the IIIrd rulebook (Halburg) making all other military dwarves on any, existing or non-existing, maps to enter either a berserk rage or tear off their clothes and run about, babbling, if one of thier milatary dwarfs has no equipped objects at all.

Triggering a siege is worth 500 points.

150 points can be used to create a point bank. Any player may store points in a point bank, but all points in a bank are lost if a stock market collapse occurs.

rule 28.3 ("Harold's playschool") from rulebook 1.46 (third edition, Blixtkrieg ruleset) is used to summon the ingrediants for a massacre.

Godly Anger (rulebook 1.46 (third edition, Blixtkrieg ruleset), rule 16.2) results in a player having all of thier numbers halved.

"Vocal discord" causes... changes. Just... changes.

Rule 13.7 from rulebook 1.95 (first edition, Ironblood ruleset) marks units in the process of preforming a job involving picking up things unchasamable, unigniteable, and unsmitable.

the "Bites dust" rule (2.47, Buildings and Critters ruleset, version 1987) is activated per player upon a unit they control biting the dust, figuratively or metaphorically. This renders the player immune to certain game-warping effects for a number of turns equal to the CR of the creature that bit the dust, halved.

Startled charactes may be attacked by snailmen or elk, as decided by the batman council. If the council is dead, they are instead attacked by skeletal zombie carpflingers.

Pi, from rule 3.14159265, allows one to summon a glowing pit and a number of !!LOGICAL PARADOXES!!, but renders them unable to utilize SECRET FUN STUFF

according to the Box, Container or Other Objects (Chuck Norris Edition), whenever a plump helmet comes into play inside a box, a random player, who shall know who they are, can permanantly borrow one non-legendary unit from another, non-allied player.

When glowing pits are disturbed, a number of [[demons]] are spawned. But you knew that already. It is, after all, a game rule from DF.

the Freshly Arrived Latemin Handbook, page 132, paragraph 2 allows for invoking the Multiplicity Anvil Principle when there are 10 or more spirits of fire present within any of the following pit types: smoking, dark, glowing, or vegetarian. This allows the invoker to multiply the number of anvils they possess by the number of Spirits of Fire present in the pits.

rule JB.007, Pantshelm rulset, allows, in certain circumstances, for players to place a [[chasm or river creature]] spy into play where they desire.

When the demon pits are directly assaulted, one can invoke the  Counter Daemon Strike Gambit, which allows the demons to wipe out any elves that come to trade.

Technicolor makes [[color]] objects into ranbow objects, letting them learn both color blast when in attack mode (attack with color that blasts things to sparkly bits, but linear attack) and color shield when in defence mode(deflect colored attacks, not reflect. ).
Rainbow sheep are immune to normal lasers.

the Fair Play Rule, states, among other things, that if Captain Ironblood is in play at any time the game is unwinnable and he is removed.
Also, Captain Ironblood is banned from this game.

according to the "Copyrighted Material Summoning Tacticus Rulebook" copyrighted characters have the right to sue anyone who summons them without thier consent. Therefore a demon lawyer appears.
The player who summonned said character must now decide whether to attend the trial (skip two turns + random event (referto the Random Events Refereee)) or settle out of court (pay 2^x victory points to the offended parties , where x is the number of carps in play. If you don't have enough VP you must sell your assets to other players). If you win the case, the character is summoned, but suffers a -38.259 moral "bonus," and has a 30% chance of defecting to a more respectful player. If you lose, they leave, and the Random Event Referee determines yet another Random Event affecting you personally.

The Rule Addendum of Armok, added by regional Pantselm council meeting 38a, dictates that Armok, God of Blood, is significantly less pleased with death that doesn't involve blood, and invokes an inverse penalty on all violent, non-bladed non-melee weapons, as well as magic above the realm level 2. This has been invoked.

During the Meadhall Phase,  a dwarven baron will appear, and judge the cooking of all opposing sides. As always, commanders at the feast will be expected to publicly distribute mini-toy-forges and other treasures to their followers, or face an immediate 25% drop in morale, with corresponding risk of defection to more generous patrons. Excelling gifts made of [[Random material gift table, a material from within]] will grant a labor and jogging bonus, as well as 2 points and a Brass Sceptre.
Also, the food must include the secret ingrediant, chosen from the Table of Ingrediants with Footnotes for any and all possible variations.

the Principle of Long-Term Plans allows dormant members to be assumed to have been conducting a number of long term plans not exeeding the months that they have been dormant for, which can be unvieled at any time to trigger them.

Bolts are bladed weapons that deal damage at close range. The Crossbow may be ranged, but the bolts are melee, as established in the official Council of Currantspines errata to the The Rule Addendum of Armok.

If there are one or more ballista bolts on the board at once, any transformed, shapeshifted, polymorphed, transmogrified or discombomulated units in play automatically become Legendary Comedians (as stated under the Transformed, Shapeshifted, Polymorphed, Transmogrified or Discombomulated Units, Sector vii, paragraph 2, letter 7, accent 2).

When two legendary comedians meet, they enter into a laughoff, which lasts for thirty turns. during said event, all voluntary movement on the parts of the comedians is negated, and any who overhear or see the event must succeed on a wisdom check of DC 45.3 or be paralyzed with laughter until the council of Batmen decides to free them.

super[[ammunition]]ly touch, Ultra-Mighty, and perfectly agile ammuntion can make sudden course corrections and adjust thier aim up to three-hundred sixty degrees in any direction.

the Akam Codex, Section Three has rules covering loose trinkets.

the Favor of the Blood God renders affected units invulnerable to bass instruments and enables thier controller to summon two different metals and/or minerals and combine them with elf meat to create 1-7 custom objects.

Every player either on or off the board has righteous hatred towards Dwarfaholic.

Under the Pantshelm rules, if the previous turn was Lacklusture, Failing, Tiny or Effortless, that player automatically loses all but 1d6 victory points and units.

All alcohol is instead distilled mermaid's blood, due to the Mythological Menaces expansion book and the presence of an imported sock covered in *mermaid blood* in the still at one point in time.

the Obscure Panthelom's Plump rule of the 3rd rulebook, unrated edition, grant new players entering late five points that may be used for any purpose they desire, as long as said purpose is not causing a fell mood.

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he Jade Blizzard of Fury, an Enormous Cave Bone Corkscrew. Beware the Fury.

Bovinepro

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Re: TACTICUS
« Reply #250 on: February 22, 2008, 02:41:00 am »

Rule Deleted - It was 12:30 midnight when I made the rule, extremely stupid, sorry.

[ February 24, 2008: Message edited by: Bovinepro ]

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Armok

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Re: TACTICUS
« Reply #251 on: February 22, 2008, 05:29:00 am »

I designate the entire playing field A negation negation zone.

I invoke rule 9483h in the "exponential awesomenesses" subsection of the Pantshelm ruleset, declaring that "at any time a player can summon a unit of Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot type as long as it is completely believable, realistic and awesome", I use this to summon Kazo in being a magical admantine dinosaur ninja robot mad-scientist.

I want to inform that the next turn a infinite^2 hoard of skelk hostile to everyone, as per "baning of demigodlikes and the effects on their nemeseseses".

I also disable the Shenanigans rule, as per "rules contradictory to the spirit of TACTICUS".

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So says Armok, God of blood.
Sszsszssoo...
Sszsszssaaayysss...
III...

DuncanFrost

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Re: TACTICUS
« Reply #252 on: February 22, 2008, 07:25:00 am »

quote:
 Kings have a special demand ability you can read about in the Second Edition of the Nobles And Certain Death book, page 173. According to the table, the controller of a king or queen gets to flip 3 coins and throw 3 dice, then choose the demand from the charts. If the demand is meet the player who gave him the [[demanded item]] gets to pick a reward from page 143. Those who fail to meet the demand before another player does gets a random punishment from the table on page 176.

As I control a king, I flip three coins and roll three dice.. Heads. Heads. Heads. Six. Six. Six! This requires... an Artifact Adamantite Giant Corkscrew decorated with dragon skulls and titan bones, and menacing with spikes of Captain Ironblood bone. I point this demand towards Bovine and laugh, triggering rage in the Cerberus' currently off the board.

[ February 22, 2008: Message edited by: DuncanFrost ]

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DuncanFrost

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Re: TACTICUS
« Reply #253 on: February 24, 2008, 09:31:00 am »

The thread has hit the second page! This automatically adds the Boozetacular Rule and a copy of Haunting Whispers of Forgotten Dead for everyone. Boozetaclar rule state that all artifacts generatate unlimited booze, attracting a thousand immigrants to this thread and bumping it to the top.
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Bovinepro

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Re: TACTICUS
« Reply #254 on: February 24, 2008, 11:22:00 am »

As the cerbus are now all enraged, they charge through the elves, causing 666d6 +4, massacreing many elves in the process ; they then jump over the forest in a single bound and into the singularity vortex, combining to form a ginormous nine headed ultra cerebus, and I turn them into defense mode, facing the King Quadgremlin. The Flesh eating cows stalk forward and feed on the elves remains, gaining a +5 attack bonus on all future rounds due to the Flesh Eating Cows Get Things for Eating Flesh rule, and I lastly place another trap card face down on the board.
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