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[Blargh]

To my shame, I have to admit that you are correct, sir. In deed, there is a distinct possibility that the ring may be a Greater Ring, in which case my elven ninja, not posessing the purity of spirit normally associated with elvenkind (let's face it, he's not using wooden shuriken), may in deed already be one of the living dead, in which case he is truly lost. Very well. The ninja remains a wild card, and I release my claim to the remaining percentage of my score. HOWEVER, as per the Rosenborg feint presedence, I can not be penalized in any way for omitting to mention any rule that is not a main rule, wether intentional or not.

Also, the prospect of an incorporeal undead named elven ninja, with an invisibilty ring and the ability to use Kage Bunshen no Jutsu, terrifies the heck out of me. Can we use Emergency Action 98c subsection Omega to call the Ghostbusters and/or Chuck Norris if it all goes to pot?

And while I'm on terrifying, it appears Stan has been sacrificed. I'm going to need a minute to figure out if I even have any units left at this point. Also, there is more rumbling.

EDIT: Edited in accordance with Rulebook "Enigma, Gamma, Sigma, correct spelling in Tacticus, a guide. By Arthur Tommyknocker, MD"

[ November 12, 2007: Message edited by: Blargh ]

[Rondol]

Unfortunately Emergency Action 98c is only useable in situations directly involving either terrorists, giant robots, the 80's, or living Jell-o. If needed the Multitude may be substituted for the Jell-o, though the situation must in that case also include cultists serving members thereof.

However, Emergency Action § may be applied should the situation require Bruce Willis, Darth Vader, or the Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers. In addition subsection 4é of that Action allows for the summoning (via 5.3-man summoning circle; see the additional rulebook "Summoning Circles for Dummies") of Kratos or James Bond if gratuitous violence is required.

[Grek]

The ghost ninja is a rather scary idea. I will built a farmer's workshop made out of of rock salt next to my maggot, which, in accordance with the papersmith judgement, prevents ghost attacks. I then send it into a fey mood to prevent pocession by ghosts. He claims the workshop and starts working.

[Keilden]

My King now uses his special demand ability you can read about int the Second Edition of the Nobles And Certain Death book page 173. According to the table I got to flip 3 coins and throw 3 dices. After doing so the table shows me that the King now has demanded 5 Rings made out of snailbone.

If the demand is meet the player who gave him the rings will get to pick a reward from page 143. Also those who fail to meet demand befor 1 player has it will get a random punishment form the table on page 176.

[Jusal]

Consulting to the rule 10.122451½ from The Great Book of Tacticus And Herding of Goats (Players joining right after a demand for snailbone rings has been made) I place ninety-nine kobold tokens, each with an amputated left hand, on the gameboard. However, as I rolled for the exact positions of my troops (With the recommended amount of 798 dice) I lost a die. As in The Book of Failures Concerning Dice, the diceroll will be handled as a 0.

Unfortunately this means my kobolds will start 43 Z-levels beneath the ground level, in solid granite.

[Edit]

Curses! I just realized I could've used any of the plants included in the TACTICUS 45th expansion "Fucknuts and Other Strange Vegetation" instead of kobold tokens!

[ November 12, 2007: Message edited by: Jusal ]

[Dwarven Malcolite]

quote:Originally posted by Keilden:
<STRONG>My King now uses his special demand ability you can read about int the Second Edition of the Nobles And Certain Death book page 173. According to the table I got to flip 3 coins and throw 3 dices. After doing so the table shows me that the King now has demanded 5 Rings made out of snailbone.

If the demand is meet the player who gave him the rings will get to pick a reward from page 143. Also those who fail to meet demand befor 1 player has it will get a random punishment form the table on page 176.</STRONG>

Snailbone, the king says? As snails have no bones, and only shells, that would normally be quite difficult. However, my ally controls the trade depot, and through that the import agreements as per the Area Bonuses List, which has been part of Tacticus since the time before time. As we are all aware, the trade depot can be used to bring materials and goods, such as red sand blocks, that normally cannot be made. As such, under the combined power of the Item Substitution Codes, the ruling that time is, in fact, money,  and the instantaneous nature of sacrifice, I'm going to trade 12 of my Ranger's bolts for 6 coins, a tame cat, and five snailbone rings, then transmute those coins into turns. My cat, who adopts Skeeblix's western axedwarf, picks up all five rings and runs to the king, thus satisfying his demand.

At the same time, I engage the rule of consecutive alignments, which you may remember from page one of this thread, causing Skeeblix to be the player who turned in the rings as the cat now belongs to Skeeblix, netting me .8 points and a woodcutter, who is located in the carpenter's workshop. As Skeeblix and I are allies, choice of bonus will affect me as well.

 

quote:Originally posted by Blargh:
<STRONG>
anyone have the "Peculiar Language Translation" booklet that came with the 3rd edition expansion pack, "Weird goats and other rules"?

It says "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn". And there seems to be a really deep rumbling coming from OH gosh darnit, my miner has just gone insane. Drat and bebother it! He's starting some kind of ritual.

</STRONG>

Well, I don't have that exact expansion, but I do have Extradimensional Monstrosities and You, which indicates that we have exactly 3.14159265 turns before the ritual is complete.

Also, as this is a new board, we must remember that we have two turns until the elves arrive anew. Just becasue we reset the board doesn't mean we reset the basic Pantshelm Rules.

Ranger: Hey, I can trade these bolt for other things! Hello kitty!
Cat: Meow. Meow meow meow mew. Hssssssss.
Woodcutter: I have an axe!

[ November 12, 2007: Message edited by: Dwarven Malcolite ]

[ November 12, 2007: Message edited by: Dwarven Malcolite ]

[Fenrir]

quote:Originally posted by Sylverone:
<STRONG>Fenrir: Tacticus can be a challenging game. Just pretend you know the rules and in accordance with Appendix E of the Emergency Rulebook of Anti-Confusion, if you pretend that you understand the rules and that you know what's going on, it is assumed that your moves are legal by default.</STRONG>

*Fenrir has somehow restored his head* Ahh, I see. I'll join the next game, as this one has progress too far for me to keep track of what's happening.

[ November 12, 2007: Message edited by: Fenrir ]

[chub chubs]

i bring over my mule and place him in the small grove (see rule book 1337 "on small groves and other scarce locations") were being a mule he ignores his further orders and sets about geting stufed into a holow tree by a passing greater moloch (see rule book 7331 "random creatures and other copie right law infringments")

{edit}
in light of recent developments includeing the change in my name and description there is now a living jello in play (rule #1973 edition 22 "all players who are a jello cube count as there own unit")

[ November 12, 2007: Message edited by: Gulfd'An ]

[Blargh]

quote: If the demand is meet the player who gave him the rings will get to pick a reward from page 143. Also those who fail to meet demand befor 1 player has it will get a random punishment form the table on page 176.

Damnit, beaten to the punch. Oh well. I fail to procure 5 snailbone rings in time, and must get a random punishment from table 2-4 on page 176. HOWEVER, as I currently have no units in play, I am affected by the exception in Rule 34, which I interpret to mean that I can get off for free on this one.

I admit, things are looking kind of dim for me at the moment, but I still have an ace up my sleeve. I play this card and collect my winnings, as well as licking my elbow for the special agility bonus, netting me a total of 46 points. As per rule EA1 (Emergency Action 1), "when a player is left with no units or left with less than 3 hoary marmots, he may immediately buy items and units spending not more than 50 points, immedately upon ending his turn. Any units purchased in this manner are allowed one move, as long as it is not an attack, nor squatting on the potty."

Therefore, I spend 20 points and purchase 100 felsite thongs which I promptly stuff in my insane miner's face, causing him to choke and die from blodloss. Naturally.

With my remaining points I purchase a Wizard mounted on a Giant Cave Spider and position him in the forest, where I order him to begin carving the image of porkrinds menacing with spikes of saturated fat into the trunk of each and every tree while exclaiming "The goggles, they do nothing!"

Insane Miner: "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cth* GAAAH the HORROR, NO NO Numhfgh... *wetly gurgling exhalation*

Giant Cave Spider Mount: "I'm awesome! Err, I mean, *hiss*"

Wizard: "The goggles, they do nothing!" *carving noises*

That should teach those elves. Also, I'm hoping the miner didn't have time to finish that ritual. Guess we'll have to wait... But that would be under the purview of the Random Events Referee, and I don't know where he's at.

[CharonX]

Since I'm still in the "Score Points" stage of the old game I've effectively become locked out from the game for now (See Appendix M, Subsection 3, "Multiplayer and Multigamer").

Instead I'll invoke the "Presence of Absence" rule and fill in as substitute Random Events Referee for now ("...until the primary Random Events Referee returns, dead, undead or alive, or a new primary Random Events Referee is chosen by a 84/149th majority of all players in Utah").

I will now resolve outstanding Random Events:
*rolls dice*

Blargh: You Miner has managed to complete the ritual but fumbled his pronunciation roll due to the er... objects... lodged in his throat. Strange mist starts pouring out of the mineshaft.

Dwarven Malcolite: I have consulted the appropriate reward table for non-dwarven characters on page 143 and your cat has the choice of the following rewards:  A *carpbone thong*, a *spidersilk yarnball*, an =obsidian toydwarf= or a live !!lungfish!!.

Weather events: It starts raining.

Finally a Philosopher will arrive next turn and join the player who has the least amount of dwarven ale.

[ November 12, 2007: Message edited by: CharonX ]

[Grek]

I cannot make 5 rings. *Rolls* i am sentenced to debearding.

[Bingbing]

Is there room to join? If so, I sell the starting anvil to purchase 25 ninjas of random races. I also order the dwarves to begin construction of a self-substaining tower to protect themselves from the crazy ritual that may result in the world ending. Lastly, I order the ninjas to scour the world for very powerful weapon and armor artifacts.

[Grek]

There is always room for more people.

[Sylverone]

Indeed, as per rule 55.xv5, revision sixty two, version 5, second sentence on the fourth page, regarding Unlimited Player Space and Infinite Expansion of The Playing Field, I quote; "No rule may be invoked that might possibly prevent a new player from joining the game. If all current playing space is unavailable, the board may be expanded infinitely in all directions until there is room for the new player's opening move. If even this space is not enough, nonexistent areas will be added into legally available playspaces as referenced in Nonexistent PlaySpaces and Dealings Thereof (Appendix Z.A, page 345.5, written in invisible microprint on the outer edge of the page)."

I bring my UltraBanker into play (thanks for clearing that up, Dwarven Malcolite) in an unknown location. I am allowed to do this because of my situation, which I will explain:

As obvious by my last blunder, I did not realize that the physical playing field itself had changed. As per such, my units (my UltraBanker and three nonexistent billy goat colossi) gain the advantage of both a Field of Protective Ignorance, and 5 Quanta-Positional Uncertainty counters each, granting them complete invisibility until they are directly observed, and granting them pseudo-invulnerability until I know enough about the current map to continue active play. Naturally the result of this is that I can not carry out any further actions that would have any certain result, as explained in "Shrodinger's Book of Tacticus", which... *rolls a die with 50-50 chance* DOES exist in this game.

Since rule 2 is now active, I must point out that although my move does not bring me any closer to winning, it is impossible for me to lose because of the quantum state of my current units, added with my permanent ownership of the adamantine artifact spoon, which I'll now refer to as the Limbo Spoon.

Commentary:

[quantum] UltraBanker: I may or may not understand what's going on. I wish someone would look at me so I cold figure out which...

[ November 13, 2007: Message edited by: Sylverone ]

[Xgamer4]

Funny, I seem to have forgotten the position and type of my units. Well, as per the rule "Ignorance is Strength", found in rulebook Nonsense, as I'm sure you all remember, I can place up to 10 units of my choosing wherever I choose.

I place two miners riding a dragon in the chasm. I place 3 (totaling 6) Unicorns in the forest. I then place 2 Elephants next to the lake and 2 carp in the river. I then use the rule "Dig! Dig! Dig to the depths!" to give my carp the ability to dig and I set them to work on an underwater fortress.

Commentary:
All 10 units: Wha? Where'd we come from? Where are we?
Dragon: RRROOOOAAARRR!!!
Carp: Glub, glub, *I wish I was eating Dwarf right now*
*carps can dig now*
Carp: Glubbble glub glub *Let's make an underwater Fortress!*

I then end my turn.