What do you call a movie about a hundred midgets telling a dirty joke?
"The Uristocrats."
*APPLAUSE* Nice.
Here's a long-form joke:
A batman and a troll are standing by an underground lake, having an argument about this dwarf on the other side of the cavern. He can't see them, but they know he's there, all alone, harvesting caveberries or whatever. (they sure don't care, they're carnivores fer crissake).
The troll is angry that the Batman is stopping him from revealing himself.
He shouts "UGH SMASH DWARF! UGH EAT DWARF! WINGY-RAT GO SUCK ON A SHINBONE"
The Batman is angry the troll is stupid and self centered and thinks only of immediate gratification.
"I should be the one to kill him. I can murder the bearded menace from a safe distance with my blowgun and then more dwarves might come out to investigate, whereas actually
seeing a monster would probably cause the dwarves to wall themselves in. Then No. More. Dwarves. Until they start pumping in the magma, anyways."
Since the batman's argument is something like times as long as a troll can pay attention for, the she isn't getting anywhere.
Since the troll cant reach the (flying) batman to smash her, he isn't getting anywhere either.
A third voice rings out: "Idiots! Don't kill just that one at all! I want 3!"
The Batman shouts "Shut up! What do you know? This is all we've got"
An Olmman surfaces next to them, and repeats himself: "I want 3. Don't make them paranoid by killing this one, yet."
"UGH SMASH"
"That's nice," The Olmman replied courteously, "but wait just a moment, ok?"
"OK! BUT UGH SMASH SOON..."
By now the batman was getting hungry, and thus very angry at the slimy jerk, "You're only waiting until they dig a well to swim up it into their fort. You've got an in, I have to take what I can get"
"They got smart. The well doesn't go up to surface level."
"To bad for you, welcome to our world. One Dwarf, and now you want us to split it 3 ways"
The Olmman just smiled wetly, and repeated himself again.
"No. I want 3 for myself. And furthermore, I promise lots more for each of you. How's this. I'm hungry, you're hungry"
"UGH HUNGRY! UGH WANT DWARF PATE. MAYBE ON BISCUITS"
"Ahem, yes, Ugh is hungry too. If I promise you all the dwarves you can eat, will you kill a few more for me to snack on?"
"Ugh Smash!"
The Batman was impressed by the Olmman's confidence, but knew he was promising the impossible. Her momma always taught her that trusting creatures that promise the impssible usually ends with everyone getting dragged into a "peculiar chamber at the base of the mountain". In a bucket. Still, she was oh so very hungry. "Very good, Ugh, but what's Slimy here got that we don't? If he could really order up dwarves like pizza, then why hasn't he already done it? "
The Olmman smiled an impossibly large gummy smile, and stepped out of the water to show them what he had in his hands:
"I had to wait until one of them dropped a sock down the well."
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Topic: Dwarf Joke (Read 3519 times)