Bay 12 Games Forum

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  
Pages: 1 2 [3] 4

Author Topic: Why exactly do we hate the elves so much?  (Read 6096 times)

Lord Darkstar

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Why exactly do we hate the elves so much?
« Reply #30 on: May 12, 2010, 04:02:56 pm »

Elves suck because they get upset over wood, they dictate to you how much wood you can use, and their trader is often moody and refuses to trade with you, after you'd taken out the time to set up/arrange for all the trade goods to be brought to the trade deport. Plus, they don't bring very much useful to a well-running fortress.

When I first start a fortress, I'm happy to see them, because I can trade off mugs and other things for some wood, barrels, and food. Later, when I'm just starting up my textile industry, they are useful for extra dyes. After that--- well, so long as they keep chopping down their trees and bringing me logs and barrels, I'll take the time out to give them a few rock mugs and maybe some stone blocks. But if they start dictating to me what I can do with my own trees, or whining too many times in a row about dead trees, then its slaughter time for the elves. Death by drowning works well--- as you can then trade off all their gazillions of cloth to the humans for USEFUL things.
Logged
learn to give consolations to frustrated people
What is this, a therapy session? We don't need to console someone because they're upset about a fucking video game. Grow a beard, son, and take off those elf ears!

zecro

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Why exactly do we hate the elves so much?
« Reply #31 on: May 12, 2010, 04:21:29 pm »

Why do we hate elves?

Racism.



(For a serious answer, see the TVTropes link.)

Because we can. http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ElvesVsDwarves
Logged

haywire

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Why exactly do we hate the elves so much?
« Reply #32 on: May 12, 2010, 04:22:09 pm »

For me it is a few things, a lot mentioned by previous posters.  Some of it is DF specific, others just fantasy in general.

In game the biggest for me is the FPS they steal when they bring their useless caravans.  In general it is the way they're usually portrayed in fantasy.  They're perfectly beautiful, aloof, good, magic, immortal, and living peacefully in nature.  The problem is they're too "perfect", they don't have any serious flaws, and so they're bland and boring.  Even the flaw of them being aloof isn't usually expressed as a flaw.

Now dwarves have several flaws.  And it is as much, if not more so, the flaws that make a great and interesting subject rather than just some perfect creature.  Dwarves are stubborn, but out of this comes the focus to create great works.  On the one hand they're rowdy drunks, but on the other they can focus this wild energy in battle to destroy their enemies with rage.  At times they can be crude, but they are also unwaveringly loyal.

So the cat vs dog comparison is apt in this situation. Dwarves being the dogs and elves being cats.  Dogs are obedient, loyal, can do jobs and tricks.  Cats lay around being smug yet ultimately useless and their owners have to clean up their shit (who is the pet here?).

Now, if elves were tweaked a little, they could be more interesting.  One way to go would be the drow or dark elf route.  A deeply hierarchical society thick with social maneuvering, intrigue, betrayal and assassination.  A highly structured surface that is evil at the core.

Or the wild elf way, where elves are savage xenophobic creatures who stalk the forests looking to kill any intruders and living decadent lives full of hedonistic parties around the night fires while consuming massive amounts of feywine.  Feral on the surface and completely alien underneath.  Not evil, just utterly foreign to the ways of dwarf and man.
Logged

Blackburn

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Why exactly do we hate the elves so much?
« Reply #33 on: May 12, 2010, 04:25:11 pm »

If we didn't kill elves, they'd never stop cracking their terrible jokes. Yes, yes, dwarves are short, we know. The jokes were old by Year 2.
Logged

Vester

  • Bay Watcher
  • [T_WORD:AWE-INSPIRING:bloonk]
    • View Profile
Re: Why exactly do we hate the elves so much?
« Reply #34 on: May 12, 2010, 04:27:21 pm »

If we didn't kill elves, they'd never stop cracking their terrible jokes. Yes, yes, dwarves are short, we know. The jokes were old by Year 2.

If they just brought fresher material, we wouldn't be in a murderous rage, now would we?
Logged
Quote
"Land of song," said the warrior bard, "though all the world betray thee - one sword at least thy rights shall guard; one faithful harp shall praise thee."

Lord Darkstar

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Why exactly do we hate the elves so much?
« Reply #35 on: May 12, 2010, 04:30:15 pm »

If we didn't kill elves, they'd never stop cracking their terrible jokes. Yes, yes, dwarves are short, we know. The jokes were old by Year 2.

If they just brought fresher material, we wouldn't be in a murderous rage, now would we?

That would require the elves to have an original thought. That only happens once in a millenia. They probably used their last new thought on a new kind of mulled strawberry wine.
Logged
learn to give consolations to frustrated people
What is this, a therapy session? We don't need to console someone because they're upset about a fucking video game. Grow a beard, son, and take off those elf ears!

Vester

  • Bay Watcher
  • [T_WORD:AWE-INSPIRING:bloonk]
    • View Profile
Re: Why exactly do we hate the elves so much?
« Reply #36 on: May 12, 2010, 04:32:40 pm »

If we didn't kill elves, they'd never stop cracking their terrible jokes. Yes, yes, dwarves are short, we know. The jokes were old by Year 2.

If they just brought fresher material, we wouldn't be in a murderous rage, now would we?

That would require the elves to have an original thought. That only happens once in a millenia. They probably used their last new thought on a new kind of mulled strawberry wine.

It makes you wonder why sunshine is so highly valued. I think it's less the fact that it's good alcohol and more the fact that elves put gold in it just to spite the dwarves.
Logged
Quote
"Land of song," said the warrior bard, "though all the world betray thee - one sword at least thy rights shall guard; one faithful harp shall praise thee."

runiq

  • Bay Watcher
  • Jabber: runiq at draugr dot de
    • View Profile
    • Deviant Art account.
Re: Why exactly do we hate the elves so much?
« Reply #37 on: May 12, 2010, 04:36:22 pm »

It's because they go crazy when you try to chop down the eldritch horror spawn of their "nature" gods. Think about it. Trees are massive, living, unmoving things. They grow constantly, and have numerous tendril-like appendages. They have no eyes, no ears, no mouth, and yet somehow the elves can supposedly communicate with them. They can outnumber every non-HFS creature in a world, and more keep spreading like a plague. When one has you in its grasp your only escape is through quick travel. These horrible entities must be destroyed on sight before they consume the whole world, or worse, wake up from their eternal slumber.

Trees are Cthulhu.

…good god. Why didn't I see this before?!
Logged

Dave Mongoose

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Why exactly do we hate the elves so much?
« Reply #38 on: May 12, 2010, 04:40:34 pm »

Actually, I think it is a mixture of trying to be in the in-crowd by mimicking what others say and some myths/misconceptions.

I would agree with this, as far as the community goes (much like the 'nobles must die' concept). Elf/Dwarf rivalry is a common theme in fantasy, however.

I think in general it stems back to Norse mythology where 'light elves' were spirits of sunlight and sky, while 'dark/black elves' (AKA dwarves) were spirits of darkness and the earth.
Logged

Megaman

  • Bay Watcher
  • What is love?
    • View Profile
Re: Why exactly do we hate the elves so much?
« Reply #39 on: May 12, 2010, 05:05:07 pm »

Why do I hate them?
They're Hippies.
HIPPIES MUST DIE
Logged
Hello Hunam

darkrider2

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Why exactly do we hate the elves so much?
« Reply #40 on: May 12, 2010, 08:41:05 pm »

We start wars with elves to show them that they really aren't better than us dwarves.
Logged

Eagle_eye

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Why exactly do we hate the elves so much?
« Reply #41 on: May 12, 2010, 10:21:54 pm »

We hate them because they won't give up the tame giant eagles for a rough rock crystal...  :P
Logged

Blackburn

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Why exactly do we hate the elves so much?
« Reply #42 on: May 12, 2010, 10:52:15 pm »

If we didn't kill elves, they'd never stop cracking their terrible jokes. Yes, yes, dwarves are short, we know. The jokes were old by Year 2.

If they just brought fresher material, we wouldn't be in a murderous rage, now would we?

That would require the elves to have an original thought. That only happens once in a millenia. They probably used their last new thought on a new kind of mulled strawberry wine.

It makes you wonder why sunshine is so highly valued. I think it's less the fact that it's good alcohol and more the fact that elves put gold in it just to spite the dwarves.
Impossible. The greatness of gold causes elves to explode into flame upon touching its beauty.

Much like how silver kills werewolves, gold makes elves explode.
Logged

liadis

  • Bay Watcher
    • View Profile
Re: Why exactly do we hate the elves so much?
« Reply #43 on: May 12, 2010, 11:32:23 pm »

I love elves because they make for good Elf Bone Bolts, which in term makes more elves into Elf Bone Bolts.

Eventually they'll come riding on unicorns and die by dozens, making more Elf Bone Bolts and rare unicorn leather, meat, and bones.

Seriously, those tree-huggers are welcomed part of my economy anyday.
Logged

ungulateman

  • Bay Watcher
  • [PREFSTRING: haunting moos]
    • View Profile
Re: Why exactly do we hate the elves so much?
« Reply #44 on: May 13, 2010, 02:31:49 am »

They lack beards.

Simple as that.
Logged
That's the great thing about this forum. We can derail any discussion into any other topic.
It's not an embark so much as seven dwarves having a simultaneous strange mood and going off to build an artifact fortress that menaces with spikes of awesome and hanging rings of death.
Pages: 1 2 [3] 4