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Author Topic: Why exactly do we hate the elves so much?  (Read 6105 times)

Urist mc.miner

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Why exactly do we hate the elves so much?
« on: May 12, 2010, 03:22:41 am »
I *cough* forgot.
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Quote from: Grakelin on May 12, 2010, 10:01:05 pm
In Soviet Russia, environment destroys you!

Germany learned this the hard way.

Jackrabbit

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Re: Why exactly do we hate the elves so much?
« Reply #1 on: May 12, 2010, 03:31:00 am »
They holier-than-thou, they eat their dead, they only bring good stuff if you piss them off, they're radical environmentalists, they'll declare war at the drop of a hat, the list goes on.

But really, the list is irrelevant. We hate Elves because we can hate Elves, and because we got to the magma first.
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Rhenaya

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Re: Why exactly do we hate the elves so much?
« Reply #2 on: May 12, 2010, 03:37:00 am »
its more a cat/dog relation... we just dont understand each other and missinterpret things, and then they start wars.
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From "Angroshs Kinder" Das schwarze Auge Zwergenhandbuch - (Angrosh Children, the dark eye, german pen&paper, dwarven handbook):
"Elves!? Their men dont wear beards, and their women bathe nacked to lure you into the water and drown you. Thank Angrosh they are as ugly as the day and all big and skinny."

Vester

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Re: Why exactly do we hate the elves so much?
« Reply #3 on: May 12, 2010, 03:44:17 am »
...

Suddenly I suspect you're in league with The fish cleaner and The butcher.
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"Land of song," said the warrior bard, "though all the world betray thee - one sword at least thy rights shall guard; one faithful harp shall praise thee."

Kidiri

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Re: Why exactly do we hate the elves so much?
« Reply #4 on: May 12, 2010, 03:47:17 am »
Why do the Montagues hate the Capulets and vice versa? Because a long time ago, somebody said/did/ate/whatever something wrong.
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Quote from: bluea on March 18, 2010, 11:07:03 pm
Veni, Vidi, Pompeii.
Soylent Green is kittens!
Sometimes, when my Dorfs are exceptionally stupid again, I wonder what exactly the [INTELLIGENT]-tag does.

Rhenaya

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Re: Why exactly do we hate the elves so much?
« Reply #5 on: May 12, 2010, 03:55:03 am »
well then its quite easy

"you no touch wood"
"i touch wood!"
"NOOOES"
"YEEES!"
"THIS IS MADNESS!"
"madness? THIS... IS... SPA..erm *coughs* THIS IS WAR!"

i let it free which line belongs to which side, and what the actually content means :x
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From "Angroshs Kinder" Das schwarze Auge Zwergenhandbuch - (Angrosh Children, the dark eye, german pen&paper, dwarven handbook):
"Elves!? Their men dont wear beards, and their women bathe nacked to lure you into the water and drown you. Thank Angrosh they are as ugly as the day and all big and skinny."

Urist mc.miner

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Re: Why exactly do we hate the elves so much?
« Reply #6 on: May 12, 2010, 04:13:26 am »
Vester i am not the fish dumbasscleaner or the butcher i am just trying to know why all the other players seem to dispise the elves
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Quote from: Footkerchief on Today at 02:46:06 am
Quote from: Grakelin on May 12, 2010, 10:01:05 pm
In Soviet Russia, environment destroys you!

Germany learned this the hard way.

Vester

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Re: Why exactly do we hate the elves so much?
« Reply #7 on: May 12, 2010, 04:14:12 am »
Well, they're elves. That's why.
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"Land of song," said the warrior bard, "though all the world betray thee - one sword at least thy rights shall guard; one faithful harp shall praise thee."

Rhenaya

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Re: Why exactly do we hate the elves so much?
« Reply #8 on: May 12, 2010, 04:16:54 am »
why did the hammerer kill the legendary mason after the king did not get his rose gold toy axe mandate fullfilled?

BECAUSE HE FREAKING CAN...

so now why do we hate elves and slaughter them after we got their pets?... same answer :x
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From "Angroshs Kinder" Das schwarze Auge Zwergenhandbuch - (Angrosh Children, the dark eye, german pen&paper, dwarven handbook):
"Elves!? Their men dont wear beards, and their women bathe nacked to lure you into the water and drown you. Thank Angrosh they are as ugly as the day and all big and skinny."

Jackrabbit

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Re: Why exactly do we hate the elves so much?
« Reply #9 on: May 12, 2010, 04:17:37 am »
Like I said. Because we can and because we got to the magma first.
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Xzalander

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Re: Why exactly do we hate the elves so much?
« Reply #10 on: May 12, 2010, 04:19:58 am »
Its the beards. Theyre jealous cause theyre all babyfaced.

"BABYMAN, BABYMAN..."
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Quote from: Kilika on April 03, 2010, 11:21:40 pm
If someone is going to mess with my fort, they deserve to drown in poop.

Leesin

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Re: Why exactly do we hate the elves so much?
« Reply #11 on: May 12, 2010, 04:25:57 am »
I hate elves because one of the stupid hippy spearman who must have came along with goblins or something attacked and killed 2 of my guys who were working outside. Needless to say one of my Champions slaughtered him quickly after, but still really annoyed me. Maybe he was coming to kill my dwarves because his gay friends caravan got slaughtered by goblins when they were visiting me, lawl.
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Psieye

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Re: Why exactly do we hate the elves so much?
« Reply #12 on: May 12, 2010, 04:43:48 am »
Each player will find their own set of reasons why they hate the elves, but if you think about what remains constant across all worlds, it's easy to see the possible reasons. Their hypocratic trade ethics (they'll hate you for trying to sell the exact same wood items you bought from them mere moments ago), their limited trade goods (humans at least bring stuff dwarves appreciate), the lack of a trade liaison are their characteristics all players encounter once they get forts running for over a year. More reasons to hate them come from circumstance (a correlation with goblins, undead and other hostiles) and their attitude towards tree cutting (sorry, log stockpiling, not tree cutting) when they send an environmentalist dipolmat.
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Quote from: GreatWyrmGold on June 25, 2011, 06:22:23 pm
Congrats, Psieye. This is the first time I've seen a derailed thread get put back on the rails.

zourath

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Re: Why exactly do we hate the elves so much?
« Reply #13 on: May 12, 2010, 05:07:10 am »
It's because they go crazy when you try to chop down the eldritch horror spawn of their "nature" gods. Think about it. Trees are massive, living, unmoving things. They grow constantly, and have numerous tendril-like appendages. They have no eyes, no ears, no mouth, and yet somehow the elves can supposedly communicate with them. They can outnumber every non-HFS creature in a world, and more keep spreading like a plague. When one has you in its grasp your only escape is through quick travel. These horrible entities must be destroyed on sight before they consume the whole world, or worse, wake up from their eternal slumber.
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Vester

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Re: Why exactly do we hate the elves so much?
« Reply #14 on: May 12, 2010, 05:10:43 am »
Quote from: zourath on May 12, 2010, 05:07:10 am
It's because they go crazy when you try to chop down the eldritch horror spawn of their "nature" gods. Think about it. Trees are massive, living, unmoving things. They grow constantly, and have numerous tendril-like appendages. They have no eyes, no ears, no mouth, and yet somehow the elves can supposedly communicate with them. They can outnumber every non-HFS creature in a world, and more keep spreading like a plague. When one has you in its grasp your only escape is through quick travel. These horrible entities must be destroyed on sight before they consume the whole world, or worse, wake up from their eternal slumber.

Trees are Cthulhu.
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"Land of song," said the warrior bard, "though all the world betray thee - one sword at least thy rights shall guard; one faithful harp shall praise thee."
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