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[Duuvian]

Drawing paint picture

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Time for Operation Penis-Vagina?

Seriously though, they should modify a sub into the receiver part for whatever juts out or modify the part that juts out to fit the sub. Have the upper hatch of the sub connect to a pipe to the surface. It might be a mid term solution. It would be pumping the oil through the sub on it's own, no need to pump it once it's in place. Just sinking one wouldn't work unless they sawed off the pipe, and then I'd have to hear university or military scientists tell me that simply sawing it off would work. To do that BP will have to let them near the problem.

Obama needs to do something other than the jack shit that it seems he's been doing about it. Sucks that Korea is balancing on a knife point too right now. Makes me wonder if China's pondering a move. It's their style. If China reads my post, DON"T DO IT DUDE

[Zangi]

Well, they'd still have to guide that ship down, but seems a simple thing for them...  I might be wrong though, guiding a sinking ship full of sand could be entirely different from guiding a giant bucket.

But, I think the sinking ship needs a little force to it...  the oil is pushing up, so the ship may be pushed out of the way as it comes down or if excessively guided, pushed up.

Underwater rocket propellants should be attached or shoot something at it to force it down onto that hole.

[Duuvian]

It felt weird looking that up. I was sort of hoping there were step by step instructions so I could prove my point, but at the same time I was like "I'm going to lose my faith in humanity and the internet if they tell you how to cook crack on wikipedia." I even looked for five minutes on TV tropes to see if there was a trope for that feeling. Any suggestions?

Nope, in all my adventures with addicts, I've never learned the mystic alchemy of cocaine.  Just reminds me of Office Space.  "I can't believe what a bunch of nerds we are. We're looking up "money laundering" in a dictionary."

Oh, I was asking for suggestions for whatever trope that was I feeling emotionally. That's funny that you thought I asked you to teach me to cook crack though.

[Aqizzar]

Nah, no idea what that would be called, expect plain old cynicism over your expectations of the Internet.  Or maybe not even the Internet specifically.  Besides, if you can't find a recipe for crack cocaine on the Internet, you're not looking hard enough.  Not that you should, of course.

Regarding your illustration, I get the idea better now yeah.  It's basically the same thing as the Containment Dome (or "Top Hat" or "Sombrero") plan, just with a much larger funnel.  The winch seems unnecessary - they were able to guide the much smaller Dome thing onto the pipe, it just floated off when ice formed in the extreme cold, which could effect the sub idea too.  Related: if you're going to post pictures, especially giant ones, put them in a spoiler tag.  Like this-

Spoiler: The BP Disaster Braintrust (click to show/hide)

I just threw that together for an example.  Yeah, I'll admit, Adult Swim already made the joke days ago.  But seriously, how many more tries are they going to need at this, and who do they have at the wheel?

[Duuvian]

Sort of, except BP wouldn't be in charge of it I guess. The winch was so they couldn't say "But it's a submarine!"

Hmm. I'm reading up on military submarines and it looks like most of them won't go deep enough if it's 5000 feet under the sea. Modern military subs apparently aren't tested below depths of 800 or so feet, which makes sense because there's not much down there that would require a sub. Ah well. At least I caught my mistake before someone humiliated me with my lack of knowledge of submarine specs. No wonder Obama can't do much. I guess I would barbeque also. Now it's kind of funny instead of enraging now that I think about it. His role in it I mean.

[Sean Mirrsen]

I'm wondering about another crazy idea. What if instead of drilling into the ground for oil, they just use a ship with a massive pump and a precision-guided weighted pipe? No giant bucket, no drilling, just a pipe that will be in the way of the spurting oil. Sure, it'll suck up seawater as well, but it's not like separating water and oil is that much of a problem, considering that the two aren't supposed to mix well, and one is lighter.

If it's stupid, don't mind me, just thought the idea was interesting.

[fenrif]

I'm wondering about another crazy idea. What if instead of drilling into the ground for oil, they just use a ship with a massive pump and a precision-guided weighted pipe? No giant bucket, no drilling, just a pipe that will be in the way of the spurting oil. Sure, it'll suck up seawater as well, but it's not like separating water and oil is that much of a problem, considering that the two aren't supposed to mix well, and one is lighter.

If it's stupid, don't mind me, just thought the idea was interesting.

I read somewhere that they've solved this sort of problem in the middle east that way, suck up the spill into a supertanker and sort it out later.

[HAMMERMILL]

I guess they need to worry about stopping the leak before they worry about the oil already on the surface.

News says they are just going to let it leak untill august, when two relief wells will be completed.

They also mentioned something BP is calling "Lower Marine Rise Package", where they are going to try to lower a funnel in the path of the plume of oil rising to the surface where they will siphon it off. "Southern Slaughter" would have been a cooler name, imo.

[Grakelin]

No guys, if we just continuously clean up the South Carolina-sized oil slick, we can do this shit.

[Ultimuh]

If we just continuously clean up the South Carolina-sized oil slick, we can do this shit.

Send those PETA people to do that. They love that kind of thing, and it keeps them busy.

[PTTG??]

Oil eating bactieria do not consume just oil; they also consume oxygen from respiration, light as they grow, and they may eat other things in the process of eating the oil. So, instead of having a giant oily slick destroying the gulf ecology, we'd have a giant moldy slick destroying the gulf ecology.

I was under the impression that simply putting something over the surface of the well would just force the oil around the obstruction, cutting through the sand and such, and possibly even blasting a new escape route.

I'm wondering about another crazy idea. What if instead of drilling into the ground for oil, they just use a ship with a massive pump and a precision-guided weighted pipe? No giant bucket, no drilling, just a pipe that will be in the way of the spurting oil. Sure, it'll suck up seawater as well, but it's not like separating water and oil is that much of a problem, considering that the two aren't supposed to mix well, and one is lighter.

If it's stupid, don't mind me, just thought the idea was interesting.

They're already doing this; they get 5000 barrels a day out of the 50,000 or so it seems to be spewing.

[Sean Mirrsen]

I'm wondering about another crazy idea. What if instead of drilling into the ground for oil, they just use a ship with a massive pump and a precision-guided weighted pipe? No giant bucket, no drilling, just a pipe that will be in the way of the spurting oil. Sure, it'll suck up seawater as well, but it's not like separating water and oil is that much of a problem, considering that the two aren't supposed to mix well, and one is lighter.

If it's stupid, don't mind me, just thought the idea was interesting.

They're already doing this; they get 5000 barrels a day out of the 50,000 or so it seems to be spewing.

I thought they were doing this with a side pipe drilled into the well? Must've misread something. What I meant was basically "Lower Marine Rise Package", as mentioned above - put a large-ish pipe in the way of the oil and pump it up. Except they probably forego the "pump" thing and just let the oil rise by itself (which the name sorta implies) to save the trouble of filtering seawater. I think pumping is very much needed, to get a flow that will get most of the expelled oil into the pipe, not just that oil which happens to rise into it.

[RAM]

So... basically just wall off the oil pipe from the rest of the ocean and pump out of the top?

[Duuvian]

Weird, my post went into the wrong thread I think

[Josephus]

So... basically just wall off the oil pipe from the rest of the ocean and pump out of the top?

In all my years I've never seen such a disaster. Don't think that's gonna work, bro.

Now, a giant SPONGE. THAT'S your ideal oil spill solution!