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[ChairmanPoo]

Spill Cleanup Option 4 - Kill It With Fire?
Here's a sign when you're getting desperate, when the best option you have is when two Coast Guard captains look at each other, shrug shoulders, and go, "I dunno, burn it?"  I can't fault the logic, and I bet it looks pretty bitchin' to see the whole damn ocean catch on fire, but I'd still keep this option well down the list.

SMOOOOOOOOKE ON THE WAAATER, FIRE IN THE SKY *DA DA DUM, DA DA DADUM, DA DA DUM DADA*

[alway]

We could just drop a flaming lignite bin into the gulf of mexico then cap it by hand.

[Urist Imiknorris]

If they've already hit the oil reserve, the sea of magma shouldn't be too much further down. They just need to tap the magma to make an obsidian plug for the oil.

(don't refute that)

This. We're overthinking this whole situation. We dug too deep? Then DIG DEEPER.

Although the magma may heat up the oil in the pipe enough for it to combust, then we'll have FUN on our hands.

[smigenboger]

if it's three miles down, the combustion may not make it to the surface

[Strife26]

I kinda supported the fire plan, but it doesn't work now that the oil has spread out so far.

[Urist Imiknorris]

if it's three miles down, the combustion may not make it to the surface

It could spread through the pipe. Guess what happens when a giant fireball comes out our end?

[smigenboger]

A thinly veiled reference to an engineer feeling good?

[Urist Imiknorris]

I wasn't even thinking of that.

[Eagleon]

Has anyone suggested expanding foam? That's always a neat thing to use. Expanding foam. Say fill some heavy artillery shells and detonate them inside the well. There must be something around like that, right? All those bored materials scientists in the world can't be worth nothing... right?

[woose1]

Obviously the problem is not the OIL, but the lifeforms being messed up by the oil!

We should give every lifeform in the ocean super cybernetic implants to make their immune system naturally oil-resistant, or modify them to be able to consume it for energy. Barring that, we could do the usual contain/deny any accusations whatsoever?

[smigenboger]

You can't break what isn't there. Get the Alaskan crabfishers to remove all of the shrimp and fish from the Gulf of Mexico. We'll all have fish tacos for weeks!

[Urist Imiknorris]

You can't break what isn't there. Get the Alaskan crabfishers to remove all of the shrimp and fish from the Gulf of Mexico. We'll all have fish tacos for weeks!

Extra oily!

[Nivim]

 The foam idea actually sounds useful, how would one contact the people involved?

[Vester]

I'm liking option 1. Forget seabirds, use chickens. God knows there are far too many of those degenerate velociraptors around as it is.

[Duke 2.0]

 I say we drill a new pipe build for the express purpose of getting a bomb in the oil layer itself. Preferably an incendiary bomb, so that we remove the oil reserve at the core. The massive explosion will shoot out of the two pipes and blow all the surface oil to space.