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Hook up FAILCANNON to magma sea (powered by a huge dwarven reactor).

11 (28.2%)

Build a castle over the fortress entrance.

11 (28.2%)

Flush all the grime from Battlefailed with carefully arranged sewage system.

7 (17.9%)

Construct opulent quarters for every dwarf in Battlefailed.

3 (7.7%)

Get rid of every Forgotten Beast using huge cave-in traps

7 (17.9%)

Total Members Voted: 39

Voting closed: July 31, 2010, 02:35:48 pm

[Eric Blank]

Wow... That's one hell of a siege.

In 40d16, my barely trained militia, using all available weapons, defeated several goblin sieges of this size with barely any casualties. The new versions' difficulties in combating the goblins is somewhat of a mixed blessing. On one hand, it's more realistic and less rediculous, on the other, it's almost impossible for any size militia of any average skill level to properly defend even a well-designed fortress, assuming you don't pull the lever and lock everything out.

[SethCreiyd]

Timber

I turn eighty today, but I feel over two-hundred.

I didn't expect anyone to notice, but children can be so kind when they're happy and well-fed.  It may only be the festivities but I'm starting to feel a shade of joy once again.  The doctor gave me a fine mechanism for the occasion.

Our foul-smelling friends are still outside, and they were heartily greeted in the traditional manner by the local fauna.

Troll blood is oddly pretty.  Otherwise, there's been no interruption from them.

4th Timber

The awful statues in the hospital have been replaced with something more uplifting and inspirational to the dwarven soul, with the bonus of being far less depressing in general.

8th Timber

Yesterday I tried once again to emancipate Leesin and Dante.

The Babysaver was killed when she was caught in an updraft of dust from the cave-in and plummeted into the arena, smacking hard into the stone floor.  I'll miss her.  Or him.  I don't know anymore.

The miners, of course, are exactly the same.  I give up.  There's no point in trying to save lives by endangering those of others.  I feel terrible.

14th Timber

Meng and I went to the surface together to trigger the supports holding our massive leak-stoppers.

You can guess how that turned out.

The walls just crumbled to dust as soon as they broke through the ground.  I wonder what would happen if we tried using metal instead.  Unfortunately we haven't the time, because the holes left in the shore by our experiment have given me an idea, which was immediately put in production.  I'm going to take a nice bath in the filthy ocean while I ponder it.

21st Timber

This month has been three long weeks of disappointment, but we hope to turn things around by fully moving ahead with our work to make Battlefailed beautiful.  If anyone ever comes here again I want their first thoughts of the fortress to be as pleasant as possible and not, well...

...sad.  That's why we've started really spiffing the place up.  When we're finished here we shall rival the Mountainhomes in splendor and GraspedSeduce will look like the dunghole it is in comparison.  Yes, I am probably kidding myself, but that's not ever stopped me before. 

28th Timber

Work continues on renovation.  We must maximize our usable space

and refashion a few paths here and there.  I am pleased with our progress so far.

Winter has come.  The caravan never arrived.  We are forsaken.

*   *   *

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Meanwhile, the goblins discover something northeast of Battlefailed.

[SethCreiyd]

Moonstone

When I took control of Battlefailed I was enticed by the prospect of power and fame, and the prestige of having picked up the pieces of Battlefailed's fall.  Some time between the flood and the dozens of deaths that occurred on my watch, it became less of a concern.  Now that, for all our troubles, we are at last emerging from the dark that's engulfed us all year, I find I don't want this position at all.  I remain at my station only because I have sworn to.  There will be no prestige, no recognition, because the caravan has not come and I fear that it's never going to.  That said, such things have long ceased to be my motivation.

At first I had figured on maintaining my position well into the coming years, but when Winter is over I will bow to tradition with masked relief, because one year of this work is enough for any dwarf's lifetime.

Let's see, what happened today?  I met with the mayor, who agreed that adamantine extraction was an unwise idea at this time.

I checked out the new dining room furnishings that were completed late last night.

That's about it, except that the doctor died during a suspicious roof collapse I believe was intended to kill me.

I only narrowly escaped the doctor's fate, the worst of the rubble glancing off my armor.  The Bronze Ages are investigating.

14th Moonstone

While renovations and new building projects are underway, I took a trip up to look at the goblins from afar.  They're still having daily skirmishes with the undead.

Yet unless my eyes are too sun-struck to see, they appear to be herding and tending some livestock that isn't decayed. I'm thrilled that they're feeling at home.  My hopes that the goblins would leave have dissolved like a pillar of salt in the sea.

21st Moonstone

Because we are all tired of wondering each night if a goblin will escape from its cage and cut our throats while we sleep, we've started executing our prisoners in the Accursed Arena.

The first was a Goblin Hammerlord that Zon dispatched with ease.

We let our captives keep their equipment as they were thrown into battle.  We wanted them to have a fighting chance, after all -- we're not barbarians.

I was there, only to lend Zon a hand if the need should arise.  I'm no stranger to fighting but I'm also no cold-blooded killer.

We were sure to clean up after the messy work was over.

[Andreus]

I've got a request.

I'd like the last turn.

When we finally decide to end Battlefailed, seeing as I've been set up as some sort of cosmic supervillain, I want to be the one that does it. I'd like to be the one that brings it all crashing down for good.

[SethCreiyd]

7th Opal

More stinkers arrived on the field.  Let them come.  Their doom is already at hand.

Yes, their doom.  In fact, they've gathered by our front gate - the perfect spot for them to gather.

The bridge and the lever are only a diversion for that we've really been after.

I call it FAILCANNON.  When it's completed we'll make the goblins rue the day they came to Battlefailed.

For it's completion I've drafted every able bodied dwarf, and Meng.  His job is to draw the goblin's attention so our workers can build without being shot at.

He's doing great, bless his soul.  He still lives so I tried to convince Ilmoran to make a tribute of the shooting to put in my room.  He said he'd think about it.

28th Opal

It's been a slow but busy month. 

If you enjoy skeletons, then we have a terrific, outrageous palace of a home, and no one to share it with.  I didn't realize the vast halls would feel so empty with just the twenty-three of us.  I've been feeling anxious lately so I've taken it out on the prisoners for my continued good health.  Remember lads, it's not murder if they're armed.

The Bronze Ages have started calling me "the Granite Strikes of Foot."  I rather like that.

It may be lonely, but we at least have tranquility, food, drink, decent company, and the lack of any real need to do work.  Once all the clean-up was finished, we realized how many supplies Battlefailed actually had, and being so few dwarves in a fortress meant for so many means we don't have to produce anything of our own for a very, very long time.

From here on out it's the good life.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Really, everything's peachy.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

I mean it.  Everyone's ecstatic.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

You knew this was coming

[Robocorn]

The slimeshooter overstructure is actually going to get used?
Oh, happy day!

I don't know how you do it Creiyd, You've taken an unspeakably long turn and managed to keep it up to our usual standards of epic throughout the whole thing. This is the kind of thing legends are made of.

I've got a request.

I'd like the last turn.

When we finally decide to end Battlefailed, seeing as I've been set up as some sort of cosmic supervillain, I want to be the one that does it. I'd like to be the one that brings it all crashing down for good.

I can't really imagine ending Battlefailed on our own volition. We've survived two tantrum spirals, multiple massive floods, and three simultaneous invasions with no help from the mountainhomes. The central theme of the fort has been persevering over ridiculously stacked odds.

However, if we ever reach a state of gamespeed that borders on stagnation and prevents the story from continuing (I'm not talking 15 or even 8, I'm talking 2) Then I'll hand over the save to you so you can coup de grāce Battlefailed in the most spectacular way you can manage at the gamespeed.

[Andreus]

I'm still kind of amused that my character's invocation of wizardry has been spun into the potential to be a universe-shattering cosmic mistake. Of course, that could all have been a hallucination, right? Right? 

[SethCreiyd]

Journal of Overseer Creiydrek Yearrings, Excerpts

Obsidian

A cat was thankfully the only one to die this month.

Sigun was the first to show signs of the transformation.

Daetrin was the next to fall, presenting a far worse case.

It's finally happening.  We're all going to die.  And we won't even stay dead, if I'm right about it.

Slowly but surely we are turning to walking rags of necrotic flesh like those animals outside.  The afflicted cannot rest, they cannot eat or drink or sleep; all they do from day to end is stare listlessly into space as their bodies drip away to the floor.  There is nothing I can do for them.

I put a safeguard above the hospital in case our patients lose their selves and move against us.  I pray to Okit we don't have to use it.

I'm certain that some dark force is behind this curse, but it doesn't matter now.  All we can do now is wait by ourselves for the terrible death that will certainly come.

What could we have done to deserve such a fate?

'Tis midnight on the morrow of Spring.  Tomorrow I retire as overseer.  Elections'll be held at some point.  I'm going to bed now.

At the least, I hope my presence here has made a difference.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

*   *   *

1st Granite, 512

To the next Overseer, bless your stout heart.

I don't envy your task, but a duty's a duty and your duty's sealed.  The levers (the ones I'm aware of, anyway) have been marked and labeled if their function isn't obvious from their placement.  Failcannon is neither complete or operational, but it's very nearly so.  Either way you'll want to use it or something else to stop the ocean from running into our fort, whenever that feels right for you.

Please fill out the proper paperwork to ensure the bedrooms beneath my office are appropriated for my and Edzul's habitation.  The Overseer's Mansion has been vacated for your use.  I trust you'll enjoy the view from the office.  Don't pull the levers in the west end of the hoard room.  Any of them.

Sincerely yours,

Creiydrek Yearrings the Granite Stomps of Foot, Former Overseer


That's it, and thanks for putting up with me taking so long.   I wanted to narrate the story as it played out.  It's easy to notice every little detail when the game chugs along at 10 fps.  I was just barely able to save the 25 from insanity (23 after Oglokoog and the doctor died) and it took a lot of statues and bodies buried in the staircase.  Once the horrible sweeping misery had left everyone I drafted them into mining and masonry and had fun.  You can do a lot with two dozen dwarves who don't have anything else to do.

Sorry about the flood, I didn't mean to do that.  Or the cave-ins.   

Right now the weapon is connected to the water-filled gaps in the fort wall, so it can be used to pump out that level (I hope) to get someone in there and put up a couple floodgates or something.  To get it to work you need to deconstruct a couple floors and build two more pumps, it should be pretty intuitive.  It also needs dwarf power, since those windmills and gears are useless in their current state.  We've got to stop that flood, the FPS hit was negligible at first but it added up over the course of the turn.  On the bright side, we have a bigger Ocean of Slime than ever before.

I agree we should let the fort live a natural life as much as we can.  And, sorry Andreus.  Judging by the state of the world it was in fact a cosmos-sundering error.  Definitely not a hallucination or anything like that.  At least I'm sure you can manifest inside another couple of dwarves before reality has a BSOD.

This was awesome, thanks for letting me take part in it.  I used 31.11 starting shortly after Winter and imported the raws into the save folder.  Save is here.

_{edits: corrections}

[Dante]

I love this fortress so hard.

Please fill out the proper paperwork to ensure the bedrooms beneath my office are appropriated for my and Edzul's habitation.  The Overseer's Mansion have been vacated for your use.  I trust you'll enjoy the view from the office.  Don't pull the levers in the west end of the horde room.  Any of them.

Hahahahahaha.

[SethCreiyd]

Dangit, another error!  *edit*

I'm pretty sure one of those levers lets in Osman.

[Oglokoog]

Horde room? Didn't you mean hoard?
Or is there a horde of some horrible creatures that you've not made us aware of?

[Zathel]

You didn't mess with the spiral staircase, did you? That could have dire consequences, up to inhibiting movement along the stairwell. Ramps have to have support in the form of a solid wall dwarves can climb on or they won't work.

Code: [Select]

OOO^xXX
OOO^xXX
ooo^xXX
^^^ ^^^
+++
+++
+++
+ - z-level 0 floor
O - z-level +1 floor, o - wall underneath
X - z-level +2 floor x - wall underneath
^ - ramp

First line of floors has to have a solid wall underneath. It has to be that way otherwise we have ourselves a pile of stones, not a stairway.

Edit: realised that schematic didn't convey what I meant. Duh.

[Oglokoog]

Toady needs to implement atheism.

[SethCreiyd]

I did mean hoard.  Sorry, it's very late where I am.

I always thought of 'dubious worship' as being the dwarven equivalent of atheism.  Like, they don't believe in gods or the belief is irrelevant to them, but their listed god is the one they were brought up with or affiliated with in some way, even if it's just for swearing.

The stairs are okay, all the ramps should have proper backing and I only messed with a few of them.

[Oglokoog]

In that case, you've chosen me the right dwarf