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Hook up FAILCANNON to magma sea (powered by a huge dwarven reactor).

11 (28.2%)

Build a castle over the fortress entrance.

11 (28.2%)

Flush all the grime from Battlefailed with carefully arranged sewage system.

7 (17.9%)

Construct opulent quarters for every dwarf in Battlefailed.

3 (7.7%)

Get rid of every Forgotten Beast using huge cave-in traps

7 (17.9%)

Total Members Voted: 39

Voting closed: July 31, 2010, 02:35:48 pm

[Urist Imiknorris]

One of the brewers is currently doing unspeakable things to a mule.

EDIT: YES! PRAISE BE TO LASSTA! THE HUMAN PIKEMAN KILLED THE BEAST OF FORGOTTENNESS! ALL IS SAFE ONCE MORE!

[Zathel]

Man those caravan guards are badass.

[Robocorn]

it's okay, you'll still have the plain titan and all the other titans. and the undead.

[heyguys]

please post a picture of what happened to the titan.

[mathlc]

Is any slot open for this game?

if yes, plz pm me

[Urist Imiknorris]

please post a picture of what happened to the titan.

Not much to see. There's just an I on the beach.

[Zathel]

please post a picture of what happened to the titan.

Not much to see. There's just an I on the beach.

I think he meant the combat report of his killing.

[Urist Imiknorris]

I should have taken a screenie when the messages still existed 

EDIT: By that I mean the titan bled to death and the last message in the combat log when I saw it was:
The bronze pike is lodged firmly in the wound!

NOTHING happened this year. Except the badass humans.

Save.

[Matuin]

Downloading the save, I'll hit it up in a hour or two.

[Zathel]

I should have taken a screenie when the messages still existed 

NOTHING happened this year. Except the badass humans.

Save.

Hey, at least you could peacefully occupy yourself with necessities.

[Matuin]

Holy Flying Fuck.

This fortress has gone to hell in a hand basket!

The outside is strewn with ashes and corpses of every race you can imagine. Blood is apparently the favored paint of Battlefailed.

We have 9 dwarves remaining. They are sealed in the fortress, hiding from the remaining skeletal hordes outside. The only upside is the ton of food/drink we have.

This'll be a fun turn.

EDIT: I had to shorten some of the names of the custom dwarves. I couldn't see what they were doing = /

[Matuin]

1st Granite, 504

I praise Otik every day that I survive in this hellish place. It is by his grace I am alive to write these words down.



Battlefailed has lived up to its name: we have failed time and time again to fend off the skeletal beasts that ravage this land. The only reason we haven't been overrun is the human caravan that rolled through recently, bringing redeath to all that stood on the surface world. The previous ruler of the fortress sealed us off from the outside world (a good move), simultaneously sealing the fate of everyone on the surface. Now only we nine survive:



I've separated the survivors into squads (They call them guilds for some reason). Each guild has its own tasks that, hopefully, will return our fortress to some of its glory.

My first order of business is to bury our dead. Those above ground will have to rot, as I dare not take on the skeletal horses myself.

20th Granite, 504

I'm getting annoyed with two dwarves, Andreus II and Urist the Blue. Neither of them want to pick up our mining picks and get to work, instead they just stand around all day. It is frustrating to no end.


(I'm not sure how long this fortress can go on. No nobles, no mining, no wood, only 9 dwarves. We can go on indefinately with our stocks, but expansion and militarization are nigh impossible.)

[rickvoid]

Just a quicky drive-by here. Forbid on death or some such may be on. Check to make sure the picks aren't forbidden or outside of a burrow or something like that. This is hillarious by the way. Keep it up!

[Zathel]

Also, are you designating the labor for them from inside the game, or by using Therapist?

If those two can't mine, draft others for the task.

[Matuin]

Journal of Matuin, Immigrant Miner

20th of Granite, 504

We've almost reached the fortress of Battlefailed. The other immigrants are excited, as our journey has been long and hard. Many perished, only we 20 remain. Finally some rest for a change...

28th of Granite, 504

As we crested the dunes that shielded Battlefailed from view, my heart sank.

The entire landscape is littered with corpses. There isn't a living thing in sight. At first we thought the fortress had been overrun. I prepared for the worst. Just as we turned to leave, however, the ground opened up and two dwarves rushed out to greet us. Ha! The fortress had been hidden this whole time, what dwarven genius!

29th of Granite, 504

This fortress is a mess.

I am the only person willing to mine in this entire place, so I have begun excavating areas for expanding the fortress' living areas. Currently everything is crammed into 3-4 rooms, which makes this place uncomfortable to live in. This brings me to my next point...

As we cannot go outside and no one wants to work, I have set the entire fortress to begin smoothing and cleaning our current living areas. It is undwarvenly to live in such filth!

(Picks are unforbidden, my Therapist doesn't work with this version so I have designated the labors in game. No idea why they wont, none of the new migrants will pick them up either.)

30th of Granite, 504

It seems we have a problem with skeletal beasts around these parts, so I have drafted 9 of my fellow immigrants into the military. This will give them something worthwhile to do while the others clean.

20th of Slate, 504

Kigok be praised! Following my example, Urist and Andreus, the lazy dwarves who refused to mine, have begun excavation with me! This is great news indeed.

We've begun to dig out a new food stockpile near the dining area, as well as expand that dining area. Two tables is not enough for 29 dwarves to eat at, I don't care how friendly we are.

I have designated a new crypt. It seems one of the previous rulers had dug out some laboratory below the fortress. As we don't need it, I have moved many of the corpses to it. One of the rooms is being filled with coffins to keep the rotting dead from smelling up the place.

28th of Felsite, 504

The elven caravan has arrived. We need cloth badly, as we have several wounded in our hospital, so I have constructed a trade depot and our militia prepares to charge the Zelks outside our door. Kigok save us.

29th of Felsite, 504

We are victorious! The Pointy Torches, though their commander has been bed ridden for as long as I have been in Battlefailed, charged through our gates and into the mass of Zelks. A hideous battle ensued, but only one wrestler was injured. The elves, who stood by and watched (presumably peeing on their skirts) are approaching the fortress now.

30th of Felsite, 504

Due to a mishap in the trade depot, the elven merchant refused to trade with us. So, our militia seized everything they had. I won't put up with any of this "Save the forest!" bullshit.

(Thus ended spring. An incredibly eventful season for me. I'm training up the militia and I will attempt to destroy the remainder of the undead during summer.)