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Hook up FAILCANNON to magma sea (powered by a huge dwarven reactor).

11 (28.2%)

Build a castle over the fortress entrance.

11 (28.2%)

Flush all the grime from Battlefailed with carefully arranged sewage system.

7 (17.9%)

Construct opulent quarters for every dwarf in Battlefailed.

3 (7.7%)

Get rid of every Forgotten Beast using huge cave-in traps

7 (17.9%)

Total Members Voted: 39

Voting closed: July 31, 2010, 02:35:48 pm

[Robocorn]

Quotes

Let us be frank, gentlemen. Killer herds of undead grazing animals? Battle donkeys? Identical goblins? Dedicated necropoli? Artifice barrels? Slime lakes? Shit monsters? Forgotten beast incursions through artifact gem windows? Anti-gravity miners with fey moods?

Battlefailed is 2010's Boatmurdered.

Together, through combined effort and force of will, we have created something to compare to that cthonian abyss from which so many dwarven legends have sprung. We have forged a new level of hell.

And it's not even over yet.

My god... this was a terrible idea.

My adventurer scout died rather quickly. I don't want to talk about it, it was like something H.P Lovecraft would write.

EDIT: I just told my mother about this fort. She got two impressions from it:

1) "That doesn't even sound salvageable."

2) "Random Primal Horrors would be a great name for a rock band."

Flavourful Introduction

"Ber! Ber Betanlorbam!"
"yes m' queen?"
"Do you know why I have dragged you into my throne room."
"Eh...Is it cause ye' caught me in bed with yer daught-"
"Yes! Mr. Betanlorbam!"
"I can explain m' queen, with a beard like that I coulda' sworn she was a dwarf-"
"Silence! I've put up with your kind for long enough, with your drunken revelry and your unkempt facial hair!"
"yer daughter wishes 'er beard was braided lik-"
"Silence! I'm sparing your miserable little life for now Betanlorbam, perhaps you could show some gratitude.
"Yes oh glorious Led, jewel of the obsidian towers of Graspedseduce, flower of the goblin's grave etc...high strung bit--
"That is why I'm financing your little trip."
"My what?"
"That's right Ber, you're going on a trip, straight to the Blueness of Malodors in fact"
"What're ye' talkin' 'bout ya' crazy broa-?"
"I encourage you to take as many of your brethren with you to start your new dwarven paradise halfway across this Windy world"
"Jus' wait a minut' he-"
"We'll supply you of course, picks, axes, liquor, whatever will get you hairy ragamuffings out of my sigh-"
"ye say ye'll giv' me booze?!"
"ahem. yes."
"I'll do it!"

Statistical Introduction

We'll be starting here, halfway between The Blueness of Malodors and The Plain of Ooze both terrifying biomes.

The map contains little fresh water or abilities to get stone (it's not impossible) and all of the wildlife will likely be hostile undead, meaning we can only eat what we grow and only drink from wells or booze. I am predicting zombie whales in the future so be on your toes.

Fun Fact:
This world was genned remarkably hot and dry, with the maximum number of titans and an unreasonably low set parameter for attracting their attention (around population of 30 I think).

Last Living Save

Here

Final Save

Here

[Robocorn]

Playing Order

1. Robocorn 1, 2, 3, 4
2. Andreus 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7
3. Urist Imiknorris 1, 2, 3,
4. Matuin 1, 2
5.  Samthere 1, 2, 3
6. Oglokoog 1
7. Seth Creiyd 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
8.  Zathel 1, 2, 3, 4
9. Turkey XIII 1, 2, 3, 4
10. Melkorp 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6
11. Andreus 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
12. Robocorn 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
13. Seth Creiyd 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21
14. Pisano 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8
15. Zathel 1, 2, 3, 4, 5
16.Andreus 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11 Fall of Battlefailed.

A sequel has been made called FailCannon

A continuation of failcannon was made called Hellcannon

Bryan Derksen reclaimed Battlefailed here

[Robocorn]

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[Leesin]

The last one please, Dobar, either a woodcutter/wood worker guy or you can give him no points and just use him to haul/draft into the military. And obviously give him the same name as my forum name .

EDIT: Oh yeah, if you do want him to start as woodworker guy, but if you ever in the future get any woodworkers etc that can take his place, he would very much like to go into the military as an axe dwarf . No problem if you prefer not to though .

[Krimson]

Udib please, Name him Krimson,  Make him a craftsdwarf,  but when you have enough migraints he'd love to go war hammer military.

Also hit me up for a spot,  Preferably round 5, (Never played an ocean map so dont really want to be in on the ground-work here,)

[Urist Imiknorris]

I call Ezum.

Name: Urist the Blue
Profession: Berserking Metalcrafter
Skills: Proficient Axedwarf, Adequate Shield User, Adequate Armor User, Novice Metalcrafter (so I don't get "relieved from duty" thoughts)
Items: Get me a bronze battle axe. Buy it or make one yerself, all works out in tha' end. Works out ta a buncha' zombie bits everywhere, it does.

I'll take round 3.

I have ideas for names for the fort and group.

Group name: Zan Usān, "The Artifact of Murder."
Fort Name: Angdurad Angduradlibashnil Ucat, "Redbeard the Red Bearded Axe-Hammer of Beer." Or "...of Ale" instead of beer.

[CutieBard]

The fifth one please. Engraver and Chief Medical Dwarf. Max out Diagnostician and put a few points into the other medical skills?

[Robocorn]

The last one please, Dobar, either a woodcutter/wood worker guy or you can give him no points and just use him to haul/draft into the military. And obviously give him the same name as my forum name .

Got it done, made mostly carpenter and woodcutter, but also competent axedwarf (don't want to die do you?), where do you want to be placed on the play list?

[Leesin]

Oh erm I'm stupid. Misread and didn't realise it was succession xD. I won't be able to play so soon, sorry for the inconvenience!. I also don't think I should be ruining anyone elses forts just yet .

[Urist Imiknorris]

Reading the intro, I'm wondering what race our queen is?

[CutieBard]

Oh! I hadnt realized that it was succession either. Nevermind, sorry.

[Krimson]

What are play times set to?

[Andreus]

Is round 2 still available?

[Robocorn]

Reading the intro, I'm wondering what race our queen is?

Led Shakeoars. Is the human queen of a goblin civilization that we are evidently a part of. Weird ain't it.

[Robocorn]

Is round 2 still available?

Sure, community fort guys didn't ask for placement.