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Hook up FAILCANNON to magma sea (powered by a huge dwarven reactor).

11 (28.2%)

Build a castle over the fortress entrance.

11 (28.2%)

Flush all the grime from Battlefailed with carefully arranged sewage system.

7 (17.9%)

Construct opulent quarters for every dwarf in Battlefailed.

3 (7.7%)

Get rid of every Forgotten Beast using huge cave-in traps

7 (17.9%)

Total Members Voted: 39

Voting closed: July 31, 2010, 02:35:48 pm

[Robocorn]

I'm giving him until saturday to come up with a post, If not we'll unfortunately have to skip over him. 
Battlefailed will not die, not while I'm around anyway

[SethCreiyd]

Amen to that, dude.

[Pisano]

Can I get added to the list?

Pisano

[Robocorn]

Can I get added to the list?

Pisano

Totally

[melkorp]

Multiple posts tonite!

[melkorp]

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=52116.msg1389169#msg1389169

The Diary of Turkey XIII
(no date)

"Keep it up, Turkey!"  "Great Summer, Turkey!"  I smile, keep moving, head down.  Can't let them see my eyes...
I never know when it will happen, or how long it will last.  The last time oh no you gotta be 'Mokkkkkkkkk
(illegible)

--tinued survival of our... oh no.  Where?

This must be Battlefailed: at least that certainly looks like my friend Moldath Paddleflag being gored by a skorse on the refuse pile.  The Scholars arrive too late to save him.  The first death on my watch.  How long have I been away?
 
1 Galena
After almost two months of surgery, Ingish, our only casualty from the last siege, is back on his feet in the barracks, training at his own pace.  Glad of a good outcome.  By the stone, I am happy to be back on this plane of existence, endless zombie beast wars or no.  Cavebrands is more stressful somehow, being at a much more crucial point in it's history.  Battlefailed has ever lived as if on the point of a knife, but in 508, it is as if the balance has gently, decisively tipped towards survival. 

Postscript:  Ingish, visibly pale, succumbed to infection, despite 9 courses of suturing, despite 9 separate dressings.

21 galena

The humans, slow to trade, were predictably ambushed.  Athel Crafteddragons died resetting a cage trap.  Stupid cage traps, I was a fool for erecting them, when the goal is to keep dwarves off the surface.  That's 3 dead on my watch.  Which, for a population of 88, is probably the safest 9 months in Battlefailed history. 

We'll never be free of these 'Mok-damned zombies till somebody forbids each and every item on the surface.  But who's got tttttttttttt--
(illegible) kkkkking kidding me. 
Oh the bastard's done it again
(illegible)    

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=52116.msg1390059#msg1390059

[Urist Imiknorris]

The slug?

[Andreus]

I'd like to be redorfed before my turn. Find me a scrawny and abnormally tall dwarf if you can.

[melkorp]

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=52116.msg1390059#msg1390059

Diary of Turkey XIII

Hmm.  Turkey's hands shake when I reach for the diary.  Good thing this is my last season.

22nd Timber
The Queen's caravan arrived on schedule, and was punctually attacked by skorses.  I have a point south of the entrance I've named point 19, and I send the Earthen Gloves and the Earthen Scholars there.  It suffices to get the caravan safely inside.  Our reputation as the Merchant's Graveyard is surely dire enough. 

19th Moonstone
Limul Paddledblocks went mad, I've no idea why.  Stands there weeping.  I'll set a coffin aside for her.

4th Opal
Decimated more skorse herds for practice.  Rakust the Creepy Omens of Thunder is now an Axe Lord, despite some nasty wounds that don't seem to be receiving attention.  Health care is slipping, a peasant just died of infection.

15th Obsidian
What's that rumbling?

UTU REMZU, BATTLEFAILED, 508

10 goblin swordsmen and a swordmaster.  9 goblin bowmen and a master lasher, all mounted on rutherers, jabberers, and Giant Olms.  Plus 7 trolls.  They waste their advantage killing the local skoxes, while all squads are sent to wait below the few cage and weapons traps.  The Troll shock troops are slaughtered, and the Earthen Gloves join the Earthen Scholars in a counterattack, hacking the bowmen's mounts out from under them and running them down in the field.



The carnage is indescribable.  Most of the blood in this picture belongs to Lokum Stockadesyrups, sadly.

Dwarven Casualties: Lokum Stockadesyrups, bled out from a silver arrow in the hand
Goblin casualties: 20 Goblins, 6 Trolls, Numerous Jabberers, Rutherers, and Giant Olms.
Prisoners:  1 goblin swordmaster, 1 goblin swordsman, 2 jabberers, 2 trolls 

A tired feeling. My spirit is fading.  Someone is coming to bury Lokum.

Turkey, I've had a chair built out of microcline for you to relax in, right there on the beach: you'll probably, um, want to use it.  You can sit with your back to the ashy charnel plain and watch the gentle, blue, malodorous waves roll in.  The slate chair next to it, stained blue with troll's blood?  That's for me.  Beyond the velvet lies, there lies a truth of steel, the vision never dies, life's a never ending wheel... who said that? 

[Robocorn]

I was wondering when we'd finally be legitimately seiged. I'm glad you're making progress.

[melkorp]

Battlefailed 509: http://dffd.wimbli.com/file.php?id=2653

Abjectly sorry for the long delays, I realize it saps the energy out of the game, and this is a great game.
Battlefailed is in the best shape of its life, I honestly didn't have to do a whole lot, which is good since this was my first succession game.  I feel like writing some Threetoe-esque stuff about leaping tigers and rockets and dragons, but let's just say the future is bright for BFailed.

Should brew some booze, though, cause I stopped. 
Oh, Krimson II is an Axe Lord.  The Earthen Gloves are getting tougher every day.
I think the official song of Battlefailed is now Holy Diver.  Just putting that out there.  Thanks y'all.

POSTSCRIPT
Oh, and fleeing the surface totally worked, if somebody with an infinite amount of patience can manage to forbid EVERY LAST ITEM on the surface, we can finally stop fighting the zombie beast war and instead use them as our first line of defense, a role they're well suited for (gives soldiers time for careful stationing).

[Robocorn]

Great job, I'll contact Andreus.

We still have a ways to go though.

[Andreus]

How could you?!

How... HOW COULD YOU MAKE BATTLEFAILED PLEASANT?!

[melkorp]

Yeah, I'm scared too.

[Robocorn]

How could you?!

How... HOW COULD YOU MAKE BATTLEFAILED PLEASANT?!

It's your job to make it Battlefailed again Andreus. Be irresponsible and waste materials on unimportant things involving magma and monuments that don't make sense. And if even your finest tomfoolery cannot wrong what is right, I'll have to do it myself like I did with Sparkgear 11