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Hook up FAILCANNON to magma sea (powered by a huge dwarven reactor).

11 (28.2%)

Build a castle over the fortress entrance.

11 (28.2%)

Flush all the grime from Battlefailed with carefully arranged sewage system.

7 (17.9%)

Construct opulent quarters for every dwarf in Battlefailed.

3 (7.7%)

Get rid of every Forgotten Beast using huge cave-in traps

7 (17.9%)

Total Members Voted: 39

Voting closed: July 31, 2010, 02:35:48 pm

[Andreus]

I hadn't read this thread in a while.

I'm now weeping tears of mirth.

I love you guys so much.

[mathlc]

Fuck yeah, my turn is near

[melkorp]

Official Minutes
Emergency Quorum, Mayor Ringfell's office
508, 1 Granite

In attendance:
Ral Athelurus, Mayor
'Samrist' Dimplechannels, Militia (Cmndr)
'Creiyd' Clearlanterns, Manager
Goden Flagthrowers, Chief Medical
'Atreku' Airtraded, Arsenal
'Zathel' Mindfulgold, Bookkeeping

Permanent Barracks designated for the following squads:
Earthen Scholars, Athel Astnonub Mostodtulon Eshtan (Cptn)
Earthen Gloves, 'Samrist' Dimplechannels (Cmndr)

Motion to reinstate Overseer 'Turkey XIII' carried (unanimous)



The Diary of Turkey XIII Pulledportal
508, 2 Granite

It's official: I'm to Oversee the fortress for the year 508 in the stead of the genial but unlucky Melkorp Goldthunder.  Wonderful.  I think a few more gem windows for the Quarters are in orddddddd----(illegible)

I live.

Thanks for the loan, Turkey: I promise to take good care of this body.

TO DO:
Dismantle all Upper Battlefailed levers
Kill Kittens
Military training: now individual discretion

The whole of the original first level is now a refuse pile.  Our overtaxed butcher's shop is finally uncluttered, and more are being built.  If Battlefailed has an inexhaustable resource, it is bones. 

The Spring is mild.  In dismantling the old levers, I only managed to inadvertantly flood two, three rooms at most before our masons could react.  Forgotten beasts roam the caverns, vainly seeking a way in.  The legendary hoard increases.  Our steel-clad soldiers grow ever stronger.  By the stone, 508 will be a bbbbbbbbb-- (illegible)

[TurkeyXIII]

It's Alive!

Thanks for the loan, Turkey: I promise to take good care of this body.

Better care than your other one I hope 

[Robocorn]

our warriors are being successful? and wearing armor?
next you'll be telling me that they're using weapons and not getting their asses handed to them by elk.

You'd better treasure that upper level. Krimson worked hard to dig that out while I sat on my ass and threw tantrums in bed.

EDIT: I really like the diagram. is it to scale?

[SethCreiyd]

Woah.  Nice layout.  Is it just me, or is this fort's name quickly becoming ironic?

[mathlc]

i'm loling a lot after re-reading that thread again.....

but, i can't play my turn.too busy with some other things

[Dante]

Great story, posting to follow.

[melkorp]

Diary of Turkey XIII Pulledportal

The spring was peaceful, productive.  Why couldn't I remember any of it?   This latest batch of whip wine must be getting the better of me, I thought: I'd suddenly find myself in odd corners of Upper Battlefailed, no idea how I got there.  Robocorn stopped me to say how much he liked the new Battlefailed maps that hang in the corridors... but who hung them?  I thought to confide in my diary, strange new entries in a hand not my own...is it possible?  If I am possessed, where is my arftifact?  Does -- oh no not aggggggggggg
(illegible)

Summer, Overseer Melkorp reporting. 

Well, everyone's getting a bed and a cabinet.  I caused, or rather Turkey and I caused a smallish wall to be erected around the original entrance, just a modest zombie-free slice of the surface to call our own.  But that's not what I want to tell you.   



A score of macemen and their captain, bow drawn, riding a fell beast.  It seems I'm to have the unique pleasure of avenging my own death.  The Earthen Scholars and Earthen Gloves are quickly sent to the entrance, with it's six new cage traps.  The plan being: let the cage traps fall on 3 to 6 of them, then the counterattack.  While the goblins clear the field of zombie horses, an unlucky kobold thief is quickly dealt with, and then all is ready. 

The goblins decisively advance.  Zefon Whippuzzles enters a martial trance, breaks ranks, and charges straight for the Goblin Chief on his Rutherer.  Sigh.  Well, when in Battlefailed, as the adage goes.  Both squads charge.  Bolts and silver maces alike bounce harmlessly off of shining dwarven steel.  Goblin limbs arc through the air.  Beautiful.  Only their mounted leader escapes alive. 

You know what they say about the optimal temperature of vengeance?  Absolutely true.   Another pair of kobold thieves are anticlimactically dispatched. 

Sigun Hamerack, Ingish Letterseared, and squad leader Athel kill a kobold each.  Krimson II gets one, and Zefon Whippuzzles decapitates two goblins and earns the name the Clear Craft of Beaks.  But the battle goes to Rakust Battlearrows, with 8 goblins slain (they're calling him the Creepy Omen of Thunder, excellent).   

Ingish Letterseared broke an elbow, leg, and a couple of ribs and had to be carried down by Zathel, but Doc Goden is with him now.  I imagine he'll wear both gauntlets into battle next time.  In celebration I have arrrrrrrrrrr
(illegible)   

http://www.bay12forums.com/smf/index.php?topic=52116.msg1371564#msg1371564

[melkorp]

So I'm going to do my Battlefailed and Cavebrands turns simultaneously, using the same character.  They're my two favorite succession forts and my turn came up for both simultaneously, so this seemed like a logical step.  My hope is that fans of Battlefailed might become fans of Cavebrands and read each other's stories from the beginning: well worth it. 

[TurkeyXIII]

When you mentioned a crossover I was wondering.  Bravo.

[Oglokoog]

"The Optimal Temperature of Vengeance" would be a great mock-death metal album title 

[Samthere]

Finally read up again and this thread is still kicking ass. GO EARTHEN GLOVES!

I probably won't be able to do my turn when it comes up, so please STRIKE MY NAME DOWN from the list for the time being. <3

[Zathel]

Anyone alive here?

[Truean]

Anyone alive here?

"No. Er, I mean.... You're imagining voices...."