Player: Paranatural
Name: Blue ( sorry, couldn’t think of anything else. Names are hard
)
Backstory: She was a legendary lumberjack in a human town. One day, she was spotted and captured by elves. She was brought before the Elven Queen in their capital, and found guilty of arboricide. She then made the elven Queen cry by calling her fat, before cutting through the bars of her cage with her chainsaw and slaughtering her captors. She then fled the forest, cutting down all the trees in her path and setting them on fire. Afterward, she settled down in a small city, to once more be a lumberjack. All elves fear her, but among the dwarves, especially the lumberjacks, she is worshipped as a goddess.
Item: Chainsaw
Does 2 extra damage to undead creatures.
Skill: Creaturewielding, grab living or dead creatures and get + 15 to all damage you do with them.
Player:tomas1297
Name: Urist ( that one was easy, though )
Backstory: He was born in Sabreflags, one of the great Mountainhomes of his kind. When one of his friends was beat to death by the Hammerer for failing to meet a mandate, he started the Glorious Revolution of the Motherfort. He and his comrades secretly built a system that would fill all the rooms of the nobles with magma. However, one of his comrades turned out to be a spy for the nobles, and Urist and his comrades found themselves in the arena, attacked by the war animals of the fort. They fought them bravely, but there were too many of the creatures, and soon Urist was forced to watch his comrades die one by one. He did not plan to let their deaths be unavenged, though. He climbed up on the back of the fortress’ war dragon, and used it to wreak havoc upon the spectating nobles. It was killed by a giant dwarven tank, but not before he had slaughtered all nobles of the fortress. He ripped off the tank gun and used it to beat to death the last of those who opposed him and the Revolution. He then brought communism to the Glorious Motherfort, and left to seek other civilizations, and teach them the communist ways as well. He found a small human city to start his next revolution.
Item: A huge tank gun ( and 3 guided missiles to fire with it. Guided missiles give a -3 to dodge rolls of those on the receiving end, and the explosion damages creatures around the target as well. )
Skill: Trollface, you turn into a troll for 3 turns. Trolls get a +1 to all combat rolls but a -2 to everything else. Has a cooldown of 5 turns.
Player: ExKirby
Name: Senor Penguin
Backstory: He is a penguin man of unknown parentage. He was found by elves, and they took him with them to their forest retreat. Here, he was raised to be a dwarf-hating, tree-loving elf. But one day, he was possessed by the spirit of a dwarf that was murdered by elves. He cut down the biggest tree he could find and used it’s wood to build a magic crossbow, one that would never run out of ammunition. He then used this crossbow to murder every elf in the forest retreat. When the last elf died, his possession ended, and he saw what he had done, he went insane and fled the forests, and started wandering the wilds. Eventually, he became a guard in a small city, using his magic crossbow to guard it against the dangerous creatures of this world.
Item: Crossbow with unlimited ammo
Skill: Bullettime, +2 to dodging of all projectiles
Player: Pillow_Killer
Name: Li’l Robin
Backstory: He was the king of a dwarven civilization. It was a rich and prosperous civilization, and his citizens were happy. His face was even carved out in the mountain above the entrance of the capital. But when the Revolution started, the fortress decided they would rather get rid of their nobles and be communists. He fled, leaving the other nobles behind. But he found himself surrounded on the bridge leading up to the entrance. Dwarves were coming at him from both sides. Yet the king did not surrender. He saw a bottle of booze that had been left on the bridge and, in a feat that would impress even the best dwarven drunk, quickly drank all of the booze in the barrel, before climbing into it, carefully closing it, and rolling off the edge of the bridge, deep down toward the great mountain river. He remembers little of the time he spent in that barrel, but eventually he was thrown ashore and climbed out of the barrel. He left the river to go looking for something to drink, as well as a place to sleep. He found these things in the tavern of a small human city.
Item: A keg that used to be full of booze, can hide in it and attack by rolling inside it or bash people with it
+1 to hide from enemies when in it
Skill: berserker, go berserker and attack anything in sight for 3 turns, with a +10 to all damage you cause and a -10 to all your damage rolls, but also a -2 to all your dodge rolls. Has a cooldown of 5 turns.
Player: Batista
Name: Chuck Norman
Backstory: He was born in a small desert town. Here, he heard tales of the awesomeness that is Chuck Norris. Envious of his badassness, Norman dressed up as Norris and travelled the desert pretending to be him. But then one day, he came across a saloon, where the real Chuck Norris happened to be. Chuck Norris saw the imposter and was just about to roundhouse kick Norman in the face, when Norman fell to his knees and started worshipping Norris. Chuck Norris left, satisfied that Norman would never impersonate him again. Norman stayed in the saloon and turned it into a temple dedicated to Chuck Norris. He made a device that would tell him where he could find other worshippers of Chuck Norris, to make Chuck Norris-ism a true religion. He travelled to the one that was most nearby, located in a small human town.
Item: A navigation system that marks the location of Chuck Norris worshippers, as well as show you the surrounding area.
Skill: Imaginary guns. You can give enemies the illusion you have shot them simply by pointing at them with your finger and yelling BANG!
Player: inteuniso
Name: Metalman
Backstory: He was the mascot of the world-famous Star Wars metal band, despite not actually having anything to do with Star Wars. I'm not sure how that happened and I don't really care, either. All that matters is that he left the band after the tragic death of Darth Vader due to an overdose. Oh, and he stole Darth Vader's big ass magic gun, too. He was conveniently teleported to some small human city.
Item: A big ass magic gun that can fire anything. ANYTHING AT ALL. Inteuniso, you're making all the other players jealous
Skill: Waltz dancing. This will make everybody near you attempt to give you yogurt, but I'm sure you already knew that. It was one the site where you presumably found this image. This one gets a cooldown too, 5 turns, though I'm not sure why it would matter