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[Lord Shonus]

Wish you could build display cases for artifact jewelry and crafts.

There's a mod adding just that.

[Dante]

"This is a wolf bone coffin. All craftsdwarfship of the highest quality"

Whats to complain about that? Thats one badass coffin. Its gonna make one fine resting place for a warrior or hunter or something. I want a bone coffin.

I imagine the dwarf took an entire wolf corpse, hollowed out the soft bits, splayed out the ribs and put it in a menacing pose. When someone gets interred in there, they're just going to be stuffed into a wolf skeleton and left on display.

[godisdead132]

There's a mod adding just cream for that.

lol

[Zyrjello]

A hunter claimed a craftsdwarf's workshop and gathered all sorts of nice materials, like pig iron bars and cut tsavorites. A short time later, he comes out and presents this to the world:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Oh joy.

[lanceleoghauni]

yeah! that happened to me too! all the decorations just disappeared, it happened TWICE actually.

[Poot]

I have tons of useless artifacts, almost all of them craftdwarf crap.

[Thadius]

Pffft, I got all y'all beat.  Here's how it happened.

Year one of the fort.  Still getting things set up, but at least the dwarves are in the ground, right?  Got a farm set up, got the workshops working, got the stockpile that would last me until my current crisis dug out.  And then one of my farmers gets all secretive.

'Sweet,' thought I, 'He'll be a legendary something-or-other!'

He goes and claims a craftdwarf workshop.  At this point, my ONLY craftdwarf workshop.  And it was already busily churning out stone crafts to trade to the fall caravan for booze, meat, and wood.

Urist McCrafter: Uh, can I have this shop back?  We kinda need these crafts...
Urist McFarmer: *Draw draw scribble scribble*
Me: Let me take a peek over his shoulder...bones?  And gems.  Well we have the gems...
Urist McButcher: Here kitty kitty, we have some lovely table scraps for you in the kitchen...
Kitten: *Mew*
*CHOP*
Me: Not enough, he's still scribbling.  Try another one!
Urist McButcher: Here kitty kitty, your friend didn't finish his cream...
Kitten: *Mew?*
*CHOP*
Me: Okay, so kittens won't cut it.  Chop up the cat!
Urist McButcher: Here kitty kitty, I know what happened to your sons...
Cat: *Mrow?*
*CHOP*
Urist McFarmer: BONES!  I WILL HAVE THE BONES!  *Dashes out, grabs the cat bones, and sits in the shop scribbling still.*
Me: Okay, he wants more bones.  Chop up...THE DONKEY!
Urist McButcher: Here Frank, I have a plump helmet for you.  Just lay your neck down on the board to get it...
*CHOP*
Urist McFarmer: BONES!  *Dashes out, grabs the bones and a raw gem, then dashes back to the shop*
Me: Well this should be suitably macabre and he'll be a legendary bonecrafter.

Days pass...



Me: What made you think that I wanted a measly floodgate?  We haven't even begun running the river through the fort yet!
Urist McBonecrafter: *Scratches his head*  I dunno, boss.  Want me to get to work on the stuff your new hunter's been bringing in?
Me: Not until you explain the 1200 dorfbux pricetag!  What happened to the donkey bones or the gems?
Urist McBonecrafter: *Makes masterwork bone bolts at the rate of ten a minute*
Me: Okay I can see you being useful, but you're on the list.

[Twobeard]

Thats not bad. It isnt worth much, but you can always use a floodgate. Woodcrafts. Damnit i hate woodcrafts.

[otze3000]

Abrasrimtar "Seercastle" a cave spider silk thong. Encircled with bands of spider silk. Menaces with spikes of cave spider silk and giant cave spider silk.

If I knew how I would make the creator wear it and nothing else and then draft him as a wrestler.

[Tsarwash]

Tizen Ilud. The Trickeries of Admiration. A cave spider silk head veil.

This is a cave spider silk head veil. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encircled with bands of bloodstone and mussel shell. It is made from cave spider silk cloth. The thread is midnight blue with dimple dye. This object manaces with spikes of cave spider silk and limestone.


A damn Emo wedding veil. I have no Emo dwarves !!

[mikefictiti0us]

The inhabitants of my current fort have churned out two useless artifact hatch covers thus far. The second cover has an image of the first one on it. It's like they're mocking me.

[tabaris]

A lignite quern.  It was worth 48,000 so I ended up sticking it in the baron's room, but still...from a practicality standpoint, I don't think lignite is the best material for grinding food.  Unless you like your dwarven flour to be fortified with the smooth pilsner flavor of ancient peat, that is, or want your cloth dyed a lovely shade of sewage.

Of course, it just had to be a possessed mood so the peasant that made it promptly returned to hauling stone and garbage after the fact.

Don't knock the lignite quern mine mengthulner the inconsiderate lakes has an image image of a dwarf in a the fetal position in lignite and some longland grass in shale my other artifacts are a yellow jasper ring and a perfect onyx which are useless although my pair legendary jewelers has kept me afloat through some rough seasons

[Urist Imiknorris]

I can beat ALL of you. Genesis mod. Ready:

This is a horse bone dagger. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality.

Pretty? Yes. Value? 960 db. Going in a display case? Yes. For all eternity? Fuck yes.

(For those not familiar with genesis mod, daggers have a base value of eight dorfbucks)

[Andur]

Zimesh Storlut, "The Phantom of Dimpling", a cow bone armor stand. This is a cow bone armor stand. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality.

Where did all of the gems, cloth and other bones go that were used in its construction? Worthless!

[Inspiration]

One time I had a gneiss mechanism with spikes of oak. It was pretty much worthless, but I got a few laughs from thinking about how dwarves would describe it. "It's a nice mechanism with spikes of oak."