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[Vercingetorix]

A lignite quern.  It was worth 48,000 so I ended up sticking it in the baron's room, but still...from a practicality standpoint, I don't think lignite is the best material for grinding food.  Unless you like your dwarven flour to be fortified with the smooth pilsner flavor of ancient peat, that is, or want your cloth dyed a lovely shade of sewage.

Of course, it just had to be a possessed mood so the peasant that made it promptly returned to hauling stone and garbage after the fact.

[slothen]

my two worst artifacts right now are a wood and a rock floodgate.  They have cool pictures on them though, and are buildable, so they aren't that useless.

I've also got an electrum pick, a dog leather backpack with a picture of the pick, a steel crown.

The best is an adamantine short sword decorated with obsidian and some kind of exotic leather, and bears an image of itself on it.  It is worth over 800k dwarf bucks.  Interesting to note, the weaponsmith grabbed some crappy rock blocks as his first item, which i promptly forbid.  He then grabbed some adamantine and later for his rock block requirement grabbed obsidian.  I wonder to what extent i influenced the creation of the artifact by forbidding the first item after he'd brought it to the forge.

[Dave Mongoose]

Interesting to note, the weaponsmith grabbed some crappy rock blocks as his first item, which i promptly forbid.  He then grabbed some adamantine and later for his rock block requirement grabbed obsidian.  I wonder to what extent i influenced the creation of the artifact by forbidding the first item after he'd brought it to the forge.

Forbidding the items means he'll search for a replacement. If you unforbid them again before he starts building then he'll use those times as well. This is how 'quantum' artifacts can be created (with hundreds of items in them), but most people consider this an exploit.

[Ilmoran]

I had a dwarf go into a fell mood, and was stoked.  I expected something like a baby-bone shield, or a pair of dwarf leather pants, or something wicked like that that would at least be ominous to have around- even if I didn't have much use for it.

What happened?  He ran to the nearest refuse stockpile, picked up the first dead vermin he saw, and cranked out a Fluffy Wambler Earing, decorated with Fluffy Wambler fluff.

How the hell does a dwarf go into a fell mood, and make something that damn cute?

That's actually hilarious.

[Rotten]

A lignite quern.  It was worth 48,000 so I ended up sticking it in the baron's room, but still...from a practicality standpoint, I don't think lignite is the best material for grinding food.  Unless you like your dwarven flour to be fortified with the smooth pilsner flavor of ancient peat, that is, or want your cloth dyed a lovely shade of sewage.

Of course, it just had to be a possessed mood so the peasant that made it promptly returned to hauling stone and garbage after the fact.

Ash Barrel
   Plump Helmet [3]
   Plump Helmet
   Plump Helmet [7]
   Flour Bag
      !!Flour!!

[SammyLiimex]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The object is worth like 876,650 =(

This one is worth over 1,100,000 Dwarfbucks, but its badass

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[Skorpion]

a stone bed covered in spikes?
sounds pretty useless and unpleasant to me

noble of your choice

Even if dwarves cared about the spikes, there's always a use for sharp objects.

It's magma-safe. Ideal for nobles!

My most useless was in 40d. A tower-cap blowgun. Which menaced with spikes of tower-cap.
On a map with NO FUCKING TREES. Not only was it totally fucking useless because nobody could use it, but it couldn't be thrown in a trap due to lack of ammo, and it USED UP A LOG. A precious log that was earmarked for a bed. In the first year, no less. I dragged that log all the way from the mountainhome, and he turned it into a blowgun.
It was a possession as well, so not even a legendary bowyer.

[Urist Imiknorris]

It's not an artifact yet, and it's not likely to ever become one, but my metalcrafter is demanding zinc bars and rough gems. In the middle of a demonic invasion.

EDIT: I walled him into the forge so that he might survive the demon purge. He went berko and attacked the mason who walled them in together...

[Fluff]

I had a dwarf go into a fell mood, and was stoked.  I expected something like a baby-bone shield, or a pair of dwarf leather pants, or something wicked like that that would at least be ominous to have around- even if I didn't have much use for it.

What happened?  He ran to the nearest refuse stockpile, picked up the first dead vermin he saw, and cranked out a Fluffy Wambler Earing, decorated with Fluffy Wambler fluff.

How the hell does a dwarf go into a fell mood, and make something that damn cute?

Fluff cancels normal life: Terrified beyond belief.

[AngleWyrm]

"Peaknights" This is a pigtail fiber left mitten. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. it is encircled with bands of pigtail fiber. It is made from pigtail fiber cloth.

Well Thannnk Youuu Michael.

[Oglokoog]

"Peaknights" This is a pigtail fiber left mitten. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. it is encircled with bands of pigtail fiber. It is made from pigtail fiber cloth.

Well Thannnk Youuu Michael.

Could be worse.

[ReverseWill]

A Diorite mug. My stonecrafter got possessed, grabbed a dozen rocks, and cranked out the best cup ever. Too bad they're useless.

Also, does it seem like possessions turn out less useful artifacts to anyone else?

[ManaUser]

a stone bed covered in spikes?
sounds pretty useless and unpleasant to me

noble of your choice

Even if dwarves cared about the spikes, there's always a use for sharp objects.

Sounds like an S&M kind of item too me. The spikes are obvious, the rings could be restraint anchors and the red color of the bauxite is quite fetching too.

[darkflagrance]

the red color of the bauxite is quite fetching too.

It hides the blood.

[king of xanth]

a stone bed covered in spikes?
sounds pretty useless and unpleasant to me

noble of your choice

Even if dwarves cared about the spikes, there's always a use for sharp objects.

Sounds like an S&M kind of item too me. The spikes are obvious, the rings could be restraint anchors and the red color of the bauxite is quite fetching too.

alas, that fort was lost. was not paying attention and somehow collapsed a large section of cavern into a water filled cave. quite a few dwarves fell and drowned. it involved alot of water and my version of a trash chute. basically was going to place unwanted items and garbage into a pit and flush them into the magma somehow. didnt really work out. after that i carved a path to one of the caves to get into and out of them safely and abandoned. im actually playing a few forts to play around with adventure mode in a pocket region anyhow.