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[malvado]

Dude, you ditched an ARTIFACT BED. as in, SOMETHING THAT MAKES NOBLES SHUT UP AND ALLOW MANDATES TO BE IGNORED.

Beds = best artifacts.

He he, I just got an Articaft Cabinet , My Noble instantly went into Super duper happy thought and havent left his room in days, I'm seriously considering removing the cabinet as it's clear he is Admiring it constantly.

[Stone Wera]

That was a typo, I dropped it off into the caverns.

Dude, you ditched an ARTIFACT BED. as in, SOMETHING THAT MAKES NOBLES SHUT UP AND ALLOW MANDATES TO BE IGNORED.

Beds = best artifacts.

Metal spikes jutting out at all angles doesn't exactly make it the best option. Besides, nobles are killed on sight at my fort.

[Dave1004]

An adamantine coffer. I don't quite remember the details, don't want to launch Dwarf Fortress. It was very very very expensive though. I don't know what to do with it...

He used several pieces of raw adamantine and "faint yellow diamond" along with sapphires.

[FurryYunSeong]

I generally ignore them artifacts, so I couldn't say... But has anyone gotten a soap artifact?

[Flying Dice]

I challenge all of you to come up with a list of artifacts as useless as these!

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

[Serrational]

A mussel shell trumpet? NEWSTEAM! ASSEMBLE!

[brucemo]

Man, it's weird to read about all these people complaining about artifact furniture.  You can put that stuff someplace and dwarves will look at it and be happy.  That's a *good* thing.

Anything you can make a well out of is also good, because those get quality modifiers twice, once for designing the well and once for building it.  An artifact bucket can be the focal point of an entire fortress, from a dwarfy perspective.

Bad artifacts are things like jewelry, which can't be put on display or used.  But an artifact bed, door, or floor grate, my god.

[Trickysticks]

This is a cat bone scepter. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It it encircled with bands of mango wood. On it there is an image of an elephant(WTF). The elephant is cowering.

[choobakka]

"Clearednoiseless the Blowing Pears", a perfect black zircon.

This is a perfect black zircon. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It menaces with spikes of black zircon.

Well. At least he cuts gems good now. Which would be great if he hadn't used the last of my rough gems to make this.
Edit: Oh, great. Now there are engravings of it EVERYWHERE. A whole wall (5 Urists long) of little black zircons. My dorfs are OBSESSED with this thing.

[Necro910]

This is a cat bone scepter. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It it encircled with bands of mango wood. On it there is an image of an elephant(WTF). The elephant is cowering.

Boatmurdered. The part where magma is involved.

[Dante]

This is a cat bone scepter. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It it encircled with bands of mango wood. On it there is an image of an elephant(WTF). The elephant is cowering.

Boatmurdered. The part where magma is involved.

To paraphrase, basically every single part of Boatmurdered.

[Serrational]

This is a cat bone scepter. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It it encircled with bands of mango wood. On it there is an image of an elephant(WTF). The elephant is cowering.

Boatmurdered. The part where magma is involved.

To paraphrase, basically every single part of Boatmurdered.

To exaggerate, the essence, or "soul" of every memory of Boatmurdered.

[doublestrafe]

This one just raises so many questions.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Oburokil, "Herotest", a cougar leather piccolo.

This is a cougar leather piccolo. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is decorated with turkey leather and encircled with bands of cougar leather. This object menaces with spikes of cougar leather. On the item is an image of a catapult parts in green glass.
On the item is an image of The Raptor of Spoiling the silver crossbow in alexandrite.

"Encircled with bands of cougar leather" is literally the only thing on this artifact that makes sense.

It's such a disappointment after The Raptor of Spoiling, which kicks at least nine kinds of ass and has the deity of hunting depicted as a female dwarf striking a triumphant pose on it.

[Andal]

This one... disturbed me slightly.

Breacheddreams (!), a elk bird leather leggings.

It is decorated with elk bird leather and encircled with bands of naked mole dog leather. On the item is an image of Engo Dungssmuts the Raunch of Guts the forgotten beast in elk bird leather.

Leather pants? With leather straps? And a name like that? Look Urist, keep it in your bedroom okay? None of us need that mental image.

[Serrational]

Leather pants? With leather straps? And a name like that? Look Urist, keep it in your bedroom okay? None of us need that mental image.

Assign it to an unhappy dwarf via squads, watch him rock back and forth clutching himself and smiling.