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Author Topic: Worst Artifacts ever!  (Read 75560 times)

jaxy15

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Re: Worst Artifacts ever!
« Reply #405 on: March 25, 2011, 01:37:05 pm »

My Siege Operator just made a rhesus macaque bone right gauntlet.
It menaces with bone spikes and is decorated with alder.
He was possessed, too.
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krenshala

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Re: Worst Artifacts ever!
« Reply #406 on: March 25, 2011, 06:25:15 pm »

My Siege Operator just made a rhesus macaque bone right gauntlet.
It menaces with bone spikes and is decorated with alder.
He was possessed, too.
Was it in .22, and did it have a value greater than 1200 urists?  :P
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Quote from: Haspen
Quote from: phoenixuk
Zepave Dawnhogs the Butterfly of Vales the Marsh Titan ... was taken out by a single novice axedwarf and his pet war kitten. Long Live Domas Etasastesh Adilloram, slayer of the snow butterfly!
Doesn't quite have the ring of heroics to it...
Mother: "...and after the evil snow butterfly was defeated, Domas and his kitten lived happily ever after!"
Kids: "Yaaaay!"

BurnCruise

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Re: Worst Artifacts ever!
« Reply #407 on: March 25, 2011, 06:32:53 pm »

A bone helmet made out of dwarf bone from a fell or macabre mood. It was made out of my legendary miner and it had nothing on it.

I can't help but to think that the fell dwarf just decapitated the miner and used his skull as a helmet.
At least it wasn't your legendary armor/weaponsmith. ;)   .22 is supposed to have fixed the bone artifacts not showing their decorations, as well.

Oh? Thank god! My last fortress had about 5 bone artifacts and not ONE showed anything other than the bone it was made out of. I think one was only like 5k DB too.
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rynait

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Re: Worst Artifacts ever!
« Reply #408 on: March 25, 2011, 07:45:11 pm »

reading the forum gave me occasional laughs.

the artifact weapons that was mentioned being bad' lucked or cursed.  maybe because the weapon weilder is rapture'd to pay attention in the battle. 

I wonder assigning that weapon to ones that don't like the material reduces the rapture effect???

Rynait
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Element

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Re: Worst Artifacts ever!
« Reply #409 on: March 25, 2011, 10:18:10 pm »

http://img204.imageshack.us/i/goldluresthefriendlyfla.jpg/

Yeah, it's a cedar amulet with larch and cedar... with some hanging cedar rings... not sure how much it's worth but i can guess easily. Not much.

That was my first artefact made from a dwarven kid. i'll see if i can trade it to some elves, they may like it!
« Last Edit: March 25, 2011, 10:21:05 pm by Element »
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krenshala

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Re: Worst Artifacts ever!
« Reply #410 on: March 25, 2011, 11:34:33 pm »

http://img204.imageshack.us/i/goldluresthefriendlyfla.jpg/

Yeah, it's a cedar amulet with larch and cedar... with some hanging cedar rings... not sure how much it's worth but i can guess easily. Not much.

That was my first artefact made from a dwarven kid. i'll see if i can trade it to some elves, they may like it!
It will smell nice ... I wonder if DF large roaches dislike the smell of cedar the way meat-space roaches do?

Oh, and I don't believe you can trade away artifacts.  However, since it is made of a flammable material, if you can manage to get it lit on fire, you can use it to kill off every thief that tries to take possession of it.  ;D
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Quote from: Haspen
Quote from: phoenixuk
Zepave Dawnhogs the Butterfly of Vales the Marsh Titan ... was taken out by a single novice axedwarf and his pet war kitten. Long Live Domas Etasastesh Adilloram, slayer of the snow butterfly!
Doesn't quite have the ring of heroics to it...
Mother: "...and after the evil snow butterfly was defeated, Domas and his kitten lived happily ever after!"
Kids: "Yaaaay!"

jaxy15

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Re: Worst Artifacts ever!
« Reply #411 on: March 26, 2011, 01:55:01 am »

My Siege Operator just made a rhesus macaque bone right gauntlet.
It menaces with bone spikes and is decorated with alder.
He was possessed, too.
Was it in .22, and did it have a value greater than 1200 urists?  :P
Yup.
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JelloSnark

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Re: Worst Artifacts ever!
« Reply #412 on: March 26, 2011, 03:08:44 am »

My lamest (and most... ironic, I think) artifact was a Lead Mug. With a picture of said mug on the mug... in lead. Along with hanging rings of lead. Now, I don't mind all the lead, as that's the only metal I have found right now, but who would want to drink out of a lead mug? You put your lips to that thing and you are condemmed to a horrible death.
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gumball135

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Re: Worst Artifacts ever!
« Reply #413 on: March 26, 2011, 06:51:14 am »

My most disappointing artifact was certainly ''The Awe-Inspiring Inferno''. Couldn't think of a more awesome name for a weapon...
But turns out that it was a black-bronze barrel.
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JelloSnark

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Re: Worst Artifacts ever!
« Reply #414 on: March 27, 2011, 05:02:52 am »

Ooooh, a awesome, great, useful..........

Schist statue of Uzung something gobliny. All craftsdwarfship is of the highest quality. It is encircled with bands of schist.

You traitorist bastard!
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NobodyPro

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Re: Worst Artifacts ever!
« Reply #415 on: March 27, 2011, 06:41:11 am »

Piece of schist.

Worst... It would probably have to be the potash maker's dog bone coffin possession. Needless to say it was quickly filled and dropped into the nearby volcano as part of the traditional Armokite Prayer of Artifact Quality.
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Naryar

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Re: Worst Artifacts ever!
« Reply #416 on: March 27, 2011, 07:03:40 am »

Did you threw the potash maker in as well ?

krenshala

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Re: Worst Artifacts ever!
« Reply #417 on: March 27, 2011, 09:40:10 pm »

Well, its only sort of useful, so I'm gonna post it here ...

I just got my first artifact in my new fortress, Urvadlor.  It seems that Olon Rigothegem, a relatively useless immigrant that arrived in the spring of my second year, had two useful skills ... level 1 metal crafter and level 1.8 bone carver.  You can easily deduce which skill was selected when he retreated from society in order to make his masterwork.  /sigh

On the bright side, I can post conclusive evidence that the bone artifact bug has been squished!


Value: 4080 Urists
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Quote from: Haspen
Quote from: phoenixuk
Zepave Dawnhogs the Butterfly of Vales the Marsh Titan ... was taken out by a single novice axedwarf and his pet war kitten. Long Live Domas Etasastesh Adilloram, slayer of the snow butterfly!
Doesn't quite have the ring of heroics to it...
Mother: "...and after the evil snow butterfly was defeated, Domas and his kitten lived happily ever after!"
Kids: "Yaaaay!"

psychologicalshock

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Re: Worst Artifacts ever!
« Reply #418 on: March 28, 2011, 09:15:34 am »

Yeah, its useful. Very. It already has a kill, a swordgoblin I think... Just the name.

BTW, same fort also has "The True Drinker", an iron battleaxe. No kills yet, its owner rather bashes with shield or kicks/bites/punches.
Well, that is a true drinker... or rather drunkard.

As for me - if I recorded all the rubbish I got id probably have 10 pages all to myself, the only useful artifacts so far have been a copper flask (sort of useful, the military commander seems to carry it and sip from it) and a pig iron door (it's all I had at the time) which I use to keep the goblins out since artifacts cant be bashed down.
« Last Edit: March 28, 2011, 09:17:07 am by psychologicalshock »
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NobodyPro

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Re: Worst Artifacts ever!
« Reply #419 on: March 31, 2011, 05:13:56 am »

Did you threw the potash maker in as well ?
I filled it with the potash maker's corpse, gotta love the tomb feature.
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