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[Kagus]

KAGUS

Gender: Masculine
Usage: Goblin
Pronounced: KAH-gus (Goblin) [key]
From the Goblin word for insanity and manic behavior.  Kagus Nolsmuarspun was a Goblin born in 568.  He was the only child of Goxa Tokxeudast and Ngosla Usmdaskabu.

In 578, Kagus took up residence in a hovel in Lostwages.
In 586, Kagus began construction of "Indiafortress", a Curry leaf Blog.
In 586, Kagus finished construction of "Indiafortress", a Curry leaf Blog.
In 586, Kagus began construction of "the Sandy Fjord", a Trouser snake bone Blog.
In 588, Kagus finished construction of "the Sandy Fjord", a Trouser snake bone Blog.
In 589, Kagus began wandering the wilds.

[Cheeetar]

JONATHAN
Gender: Masculine
Usage: English, German, Scandinavian, Dutch, Biblical
Pronounced: JAHN-ə-thən (English), YO-nah-tahn (German)  [key]
From the Hebrew name יְהוֹנָתָן (Yehonatan) (contracted to יוֹנָתָן (Yonatan)) meaning "YAHWEH has given". In the Old Testament Jonathan was the eldest son of Saul and a friend of David. He was killed in battle with the Philistines. As an English name, Jonathan did not become common until after the Protestant Reformation. A famous bearer was the Anglo-Irish satirist Jonathan Swift (1667-1745), who wrote 'Gulliver's Travels' and other works.

[ein]

your name is Israel Josef?

that's badass, you sound like a secret agent or something

Those are just my first names.
Funny you should mention that though.
One of my last names is Whitman, and an inside joke amongst friends is that the w is silent instead of the h.
Whitman itself meaning quick (as in alive) man.
Or white man.
But the former is way more badass.

[Itnetlolor]

DAMIAN
Gender: Masculine 
Usage: English,   Polish 
Pronounced: DAY-mee-ən   (English), DAHM-yahn (Polish)  [key]    From the Greek name Δαμιανος (Damianos) which was derived from Greek δαμαω (damao) "to tame". Saint   Damian was martyred with his twin brother Cosmo in Syria early in the   4th century. They are the patron saints of physicians. Due his renown,   the name came into general use in Christian Europe. Another saint by   this name was Peter Damian, an 11th-century cardinal and theologian from   Italy.


Take that "The Omen" and those that reference my name as such. ..|..

However, make an enemy of me, and I'll make the movie true if you want.

EDIT:
Funny, the popularity of my name has skyrocketed lately, but in the 80s, paranoia struck and nobody wanted my name. Hell, people thought my parents were crazy naming me during that time. Of course, they weren't so easily swayed by the media, and actually read the meanings of names first.

[Fault]

how many names do you have, Ein?

are you like one of those old gods who are all "I HAVE MANY NAMES... SOME THAT ARE KNOWN ONLY BY THE WINDS AND THE TREES..."

[ein]

Two first names, one middle name, two last names and more aliases than I care to recount.

[Fault]

I just got one of each.

My middle name is Alexander (Defender Warrior) and my last name is Garland (Garland).

My sister got two middle names though 

[PTTG??]

PTTG?? Gender:Masculine for all you know
Usage: Internetese
Pronounced: Not often, and never successfully

From the Pituitary Tumor Transforming Gene, with the suffix ?? indicating that he has forgotten his password and has had to create a new account. Twice.
Actually, it's not from Pituitary Tumor Transforming Gene (Pituitary Tumors, transform, and roll out). It's from my lesser, official name. Peter, The Great. I've used that, in one form or annother, for my entire computing life.

[ein]

Only my brother has the traditional three names thing.
Even then, though, both his first and middle are epic.
Gabriel Elijah.

[Muz]

Mine means master. Actually, Wikipedia is very misleading there, the meaning is closer to "Sir", as in how you'd address a lord. Which is says in the 6th paragraph but contradicts in the first 

According to proper etiquette, people aren't allowed to address me as "Mister" either, only as "Sir" at the minimum, though translated, it ends up meaning "Mr Sir".

Heh, I bothered to do a basic google search for my family origins, and turns out that I come from sort of a noble "ironmonger" family. Which gives me the dwarfiest name, except that "noble" and "metalworking" don't go together for dwarves.


ein still wins, though. Can't beat Israel Josef (w)hitman.

[Fault]

Gabriel Elijah.

might as well just call him Jesus McAngelChrist   

"Mr Sir".

awesome.

[ein]

Gabriel Elijah.

might as well just call him Jesus McAngelChrist   

So I would be God Wrestling Mathematician Assassin?

[Jack_Bread]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

ALBERT

Gender: Masculine

Usage: English, French, German, Slovene, Polish, Russian, Dutch, Scandinavian, Ancient Germanic

Other Scripts: Альберт (Russian)

Pronounced: AL-bərt (English), al-BER (French), AHL-bert (German, Polish), AHL-bərt (Dutch)  [key]
From the Germanic name Adalbert, which was composed of the elements adal "noble" and beraht "bright". This name was common among medieval German royalty. It was introduced by the Normans to England, where it replaced the Old English cognate Æðelbeorht. Though it became rare in England by the 17th century, it was repopularized in the 19th century by the German-born Prince Albert, the husband of Queen Victoria.

This name was borne by two 20th-century kings of Belgium. Other famous bearers include the German physicist Albert Einstein (1879-1955), creator of the theory of relativity, and Albert Camus (1913-1960), a French-Algerian writer and philosopher.

My middle name means "fortification."
My surname means "Son of Gonzalo."

I could've swore my entire name was Spanish.

[piecewise]

Bradley:Broad Wood or Large Open Meadow
 
Newby (pronounced Newbie):Old Norse for "new farmstead"

Piecewise:a function whose definition changes depending on the value of the independent variable.

My names are very peaceful it seems. Which makes it even more hilarious considering the sheer amount of rape,murder and random violence in my family tree.

[Sir Pseudonymous]

I'm American honey, our names don't mean shit.

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

Really? No one said that yet?