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[Pandatacular]

So, I've been playing DF for two weeks now, finally got a fortress to the point where it attracted a baron.

"Cool", I think, "Everyone hate nobles, but still, a milestone for my fortress!"

I mean, they can't be that bad, right? Useless, but not actively bad!

...the very first construction mandate was for two slade items. He had an unfortunate magma-based accident not five minutes later. I understand the hate so much better now. The hate burns, as does magma.

[derekiv]

Welcome to the forums 

[Dave Mongoose]

To be honest I don't mind nobles that much... if it's a mandate I can't complete then I just ignore it, since it doesn't upset the noble that much and until the hammerer comes there's no real risk from failing to complete it.

Noble's room demands and *reasonable* mandates (i.e. ones that you could actually fulfill - Slade requests are (hopefully?) a bug) add something else to work for other than just making the fort successful.

[Hyndis]

With the new materials system nobles are no longer a threat. Sure, sure, they can order your legendary armorsmith beaten...but so what?

Its not like fists do any damage any more. 

[Naz]

So you've incinerated your first whiney baron? Welcome friend.
One caveat though, yes its fun to burn them alive but if you can figure out a way to have them killed without ruining their possesions you have an effectively unlimited source of free trade goods.
I recommend some form of giant smashy room Nobles Only Lever Social Club. The constant reloading the doom maintenance on the room will have your masons and engineers so skilled you wont believe it.

[Stargrasper]

So you've incinerated your first whiney baron? Welcome friend.
One caveat though, yes its fun to burn them alive but if you can figure out a way to have them killed without ruining their possesions you have an effectively unlimited source of free trade goods.
I recommend some form of giant smashy room Nobles Only Lever Social Club. The constant reloading the doom maintenance on the room will have your masons and engineers so skilled you wont believe it.

As enjoyable as that is, I tend to recommend that you place the noble's quarters directly beneath the fortress' main reservoir.  Water is reasonably easy to cleanup and doesn't destroy much of anything.  The mud is annoying, but these are nobles.  They don't deserve anything better.  Just remember to lock the door and control the drainage pumps/floodgates with a lever.

[shadowform]

Having your first unfortunate accident with the nobility is like hitting Dwarven puberty.