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[Nivim]

> Type "I see then. Well, you're mildly amusing too." Go get yourself an extremely modded watch.

[smigenboger]

>"So who was the closest? I'm betting it really was the Mormons all along"

>"Can you see into the past, present, and future?"

[piecewise]

You type "So who was the closest? I'm betting it really was the Mormons all along"

NO ONE GUESSED ME, SO THEY'RE ALL WRONG. I DID LIKE THE MORMONS THOUGH GIVING THEM THAT GOLD PLATED FAN FICTION WAS THE MOST FUN I HAD IN THE 1800S

You type "Can you see into the past, present, and future?"

I AM BOTH OMNISCIENT AND OMNIPOTENT

NOT ONLY THAT BUT MY DICK IS HUUUUUGE

[eerr]

How do we kill you quickly shrink down that dick size?

[Soadreqm]

>"Hey, by the way, someone tried to kill me in the Recreation Area 144 a while ago. Who was that, and are they hunting me right now?"

Yeah, I like this guy. We should definitely get a permanent link to him installed.

[smigenboger]

>"Since I'm entertaining to you, can you pull me out of a tight spot, if I can't do it on my own?"

[Pathos]

>What the hell is the WFE?

[smigenboger]

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

The year is 2042 and the secret to time travel has finally been discovered. Using this theoretical knowledge the international technology giant WFE has constructed a prototype time machine in an effort to market cellphones to Puritan Colonists in colonial America.

>Or, "Why are we getting burned by our boss?"

[darkflagrance]

>Are any hostile lifeforms in this station heading in our direction?

[Armok]

"Does those implants work even in timelines were you were never built?"

[piecewise]

"Does those implants work even in timelines were you were never built?"

AS SOON AS YOU FIND A TIME LINE LIKE THAT I'LL LET YOU KNOW

Are any hostile lifeforms in this station heading in our direction?

THAT WOULD KINDA RUIN THE SURPRISE WOULDN'T IT

I WILL TELL YOU THAT THERE ARE TWO AND THAT THE LEADER IS MUCH MORE DANGEROUS THEN THE COMPANION

What the hell is the WFE?

YOU SHOULD KNOW YOU WORKED THERE DID YOU NOT

IF YOU REALLY MUST KNOW HOW ABOUT TRYING TO FIGURE THAT OUT YOURSELF

I WILL GIVE YOU A HINT THE LETTERS FORM A SENTENCE

"Since I'm entertaining to you, can you pull me out of a tight spot, if I can't do it on my own?"

ONLY IF I WOULD FIND IT MORE AMUSING THEN YOUR DEATH

AND I FIND DEATH PRETTY HILARIOUS I MUST SAY

How do we shrink down that dick size?

WE COULD MIX IN YOUR GENETICS PRETTY SURE THAT WOULD SHRINK DOWN EVEN MY MASSIVE DONG TO SUBATOMIC LEVELS

OH WAIT WE CAN NOT BECAUSE I AM AN IMMORTAL MACHINE AND YOU ARE JUST MY FLESHY PLAYTHING.

As he says this a 2x4 materializes out of thin air and clobbers you upside the head.

NEXT TIME THERE WILL BE NAILS IN IT

[Armok]

"Aren't you supposed to be helpful?"

[Pathos]

So, we're dealing with a narcissistic and omnipresent being? Fuck that, let's blow it out of time and space. WE'RE the only things that're going to be gods around here.

>What happened to me? What did the time machine that we used do?

Also, we need to find out what WFE means.

[piecewise]

"Aren't you supposed to be helpful?"

SINCE WHEN HAS GOD EVER BEEN HELPFUL

I WILL MAKE YOU A DEAL THOUGH SUFFICIENTLY ENTERTAIN ME AND I WILL ANSWER SOME OF YOUR QUESTIONS

What happened to me? What did the time machine that we used do?

IMAGINE TIME AS A INFINITELY BRANCHING TREE

YOU ARE FALLING AND HITTING EVERY BRANCH ON THE WAY DOWN FACE FIRST

THAT AND YOU ARE PISSING OFF ALL THE CREATURES THAT LIVE IN THAT TREE AND NOW THEY ARE OUT TO KILL YOU 

[Pathos]

>The creatures after me aren't biological, are they? Are you me?
Also...
>Try and convince it that we are brothers in time and space. WE are the only creatures that can do what we do. We are gods amongst ants. Also, ask what happened to Earth in this timeline.