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[Deimos56]

A baby who punched a forgotten beast to death in his mother's arms.

There are no words for what has happened here.
Or maybe there are and I can't find them...

[Exiledhero99]

A baby who punched a forgotten beast to death in his mother's arms. Granted, his mother later succumbed to infection, and he later died of dehydration because no one wanted to care for him...even though he was probably the AWESOMEST BABY EVER.

I find it hilarious that this baby only gets a single post in a favorite dwarf thread 

[Kidsta]

During one of my first 2010 forts, there was a dwarf that came with the Expedition that had a ridiculous amount of red-text flaws. I can't remember the full list, but he was basically mentally incompetent, had nearly no muscles, and had a terrible healing rate. Because I'm such a nice guy, I nicknamed him, "Failure."

So I conscripted him in the military. Because handing a mentally deficient hemophiliac a sword and shield (No armor) was the best way for them to improve themselves, right?






Actually, yes.

A Jabberer came from the deep and started doing what Jabberers do best. After slaughtering about twenty dwarves in the dining room, it charged out into the hallway towards my Trade Depot, where Failure was posted guarding the fort entrance. Failure charged towards the Jabberer with his Copper Sword and Pine Shield and decapitated it with one feel swoop.

With the beast slain and the Butchery filled with several hundred chunks of Jabberer meat, I commissioned a tomb with a golden sarcophagus made for Failure. Failure was not able to occupy it however, as he was buried alive during a freak cave-in. I like to think he's still alive, having bashed through the rocks and still wanders the underground, fighting monsters between bouts of massive bleeding from scraping his knees on rocks.

[tastypaste]

In my last 40d fort I had a squad with only one dwarf. His name was Medtob and his purpose in life was to lure goblin ambushers towards my traps. Medtob wasn't supposed to survive his first assignment but due to a series of hilarious coincidences and sheer dumb luck, Medtob survived longer than nearly every other dwarf in the fort. Whenever a dirty job had to be done, Medtob was the first on the scene. He was one of the most amazingly lucky dwarfs I've ever seen. He had an uncanny ability to be just out of range of his pursuers and avoid flying arrows better than a legendary dodger, not because of any skill, but just by luck. He'd always round a corner of the wall just as the arrows arrived, or he'd walk up a z-level at just the precise moment a dragon breathed flame. The exploits of Medtob were an endless source of amusement until I moved on to DF v31. I've had a fondness for all dwarfs named Medtob ever since.

[Eric Blank]

In my last 40d fort I had a squad with only one dwarf. His name was Medtob and his purpose in life was to lure goblin ambushers towards my traps. Medtob wasn't supposed to survive his first assignment but due to a series of hilarious coincidences and sheer dumb luck, Medtob survived longer than nearly every other dwarf in the fort. Whenever a dirty job had to be done, Medtob was the first on the scene. He was one of the most amazingly lucky dwarfs I've ever seen. He had an uncanny ability to be just out of range of his pursuers and avoid flying arrows better than a legendary dodger, not because of any skill, but just by luck. He'd always round a corner of the wall just as the arrows arrived, or he'd walk up a z-level at just the precise moment a dragon breathed flame. The exploits of Medtob were an endless source of amusement until I moved on to DF v31. I've had a fondness for all dwarfs named Medtob ever since.

I can imagine a particularly beardy dwarf running down the halls like Ed with a look of pure terror on his face, dodging his enemies' attacks simply by having an uncannily unpredictable gait.

My favorite had to be a marksdwarf in my old fort avaltosid, simply called Zon Equalceiling the Crewed Void of Armories. He was always posted in the first floor of the tower adjacent to the front (land) gate, and had an impressive kill list (many many goblins and orcs, raccoons, macaques. He outlived many of the legendary soldiers for no apparent reason, and eventually became a legendary marksman. He may never move an inch, but his bolts always led the charge.

[VerdantSF]

Hah great stories re: Medtob and Zon.  I'm tempted to go to 40d so I can see real crossbowmen in action.  I'm a new player and started with the new version, but I've been very disappointed with the ranged bugs so far.  As soon as one of my crossbowmen run out of bolts, they never pick up new ones, regardless of quiver, arsenal dwarf, choosing more bolts in the military menu, etc. 

[Urist McOverlord]

My old Cap'n of the Guard. She married my woodcutter early on, then became the first armed and armoured dwarf in the fortress, with a bronze mace. She then had 11 children. One of whom became a champion in the military and wielder of Atolnir, the copper short sword of death.

Oddly, I remember what they were armed with, even the name of the sword, but none of their names.

The other one I liked was a champion hammerdwarf. One time he hit a kobold with his Adamantine War Hammer, caused it to EXPLODE, and then sent the shower of kobold bits raining off of the execution tower and out over the countryside. I then nicknamed him "Cap'n Hammer." I. Imagine him giving inspirational speeches about heroism.

Or maybe my toy-loving hammerer. He bought a bunch of toys that I was going to melt, and had miniforges and puzzleboxes strewn throughout his room. Then he hammered poor Urist McRandomGuy.

OR there was the great Urist McCriminal. During a tantrum spiral, he threw about a dozen tantrums, killed one dwarf, wounded two others, destroyed property, and generally soiled the fortress. He was sentenced with 30 days in prison, 200-odd hammerstrikes, and a beating, a punishment he evaded for months. He was my little psychotic hero.

[darkflagrance]

The name of this dwarf has long since been lost to history. All I remember is the nickname I gave him afterward. This story took place in 40d.

I built my fort over an underground river. When I first started the fort, I opened a well over it for water, at which point an olmman jumped out and ate my cook. I quickly walled that original well off and built a new one far away, connected to the underground river by a long section of piping and fortifications to prevent stuff from going through.

Soon after, my fort prospered and grew. Fifteen years passed, and my founders' children were now adults, the Duke and the rest of the nobility had arrived long ago, and an elven caravan was walled up behind the trade depot, surprisingly not yet having gone insane despite being trapped in the darkness the whole time.

Suddenly I get the message that one of my founders, the mayor and chief legendary miner, has bled to death. I quickly zoom to her corpse, where another couple of dwarves are being savaged by a giant olm. As soon as those two were dead, it turned and vanished down the well. I checked one z-level lower, and saw that despite the precautions I had taken, a giant olm had somehow squeezed through the fortifications and entered the plumbing. Now it was hiding there, waiting for more dwarves to pass by so it could murder them.

Now, these were not vanilla weakling giant olms. Although my giant olms lacked building destroyer to preserve FPS, they made up for it by being [SIZE:20] and not being able to feel pain.

I quickly ordered my military into action. I didn't have many champions at this point because many had died in the orc siege last season. Only three - a grizzled, one-lunged veteran, one of the Duke's grown-up sons, and the son of my armorer (a founder) - were healthy enough to answer the call.

The veteran and the duke's son reached the well, but the armorer's son lagged behind. Cursing him, I focused my attention on the other two. The duke's son emptied his crossbow at the olm, succeeding at lodging a bolt in its long torso, after which it bit his head off. The veteran got his sword stuck in the olm and wrestled it into the water, where they fought for a while, bloodying up the river, before he drowned.

By now the olm had a full-blown title, and the armorer's son was the only one left. He didn't have any kills to his name, and I didn't think he would survive a battle, so I changed his orders so that he would be stationed a short distance from the well, hoping that his presence would be sufficient to frighten off the olm. Instead, he dived down the well with his steel blade held high.

Horrorstruck, I zoomed below, where he and the olm desperately battled each other in a cloud of blood. I checked the status of the olm, and saw that it was actually covered in wounds, while the armorer's son was uninjured. Against all odds, the armorer's son killed the giant olm, and then returned to the surface unharmed before going to get a stiff drink. The olm's corpse stained the banks of the river red that season.

Later on, he went on to marry the daughter of the duke, before he was killed by fireball-throwing goblins. The nickname I gave him for this deed is written on his tombstone: Olmbane.

[ungulateman]

Olmbane.

Wow. That's so utterly dwarven it makes mining look like herbalism.

[RenoFox]

Mine was Doctor Patternsnake, mostly because he was the first doctor I ever had.

His greatest accomplishment was in dealing with the unluckiest bookkeeper ever. The bookkeeper was attacked by a blind cave ogre that pummeled him for quite a long time before the military got to his aid. By the time help arrived he had lost his right arm, had all limbs broken and smashed open, throat ripped open and suffering from severe bloodloss.

Patternsnakes did a good work patching him up with multiple sutures including one made of adamantine, but before the patient was released another tragedy struck. A mason went berserk in the workshop across the corridor and attacked the bookkeeper in his bed. Yet again, there was a lot of blood spilled before the military could come to bookkeepers aid but thanks to the medical skills of doctor Patternsnakes the bookkeeper lives to this day.