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[Robocorn]

Some Trololol guy just stopped digging underwater because It "was dangerous terrain" even though the guy just spent a year swimming. Lazy.

These dwarves should all be legendary wrestlers because they've been strangling my framerate for so long.

[LordSlowpoke]

Kill that goddamn spider snake (What did you do to the spider to remove it from the units screen LSP?)

I stared at it for three months and then said "Nope. That dosen't exist."

[Robocorn]

I stared at it for three months and then said "Nope. That dosen't exist."

Sonnuvabich, It was swimming the whole time and now I'm gonna get killed by a baby blue spider with fairy wings AGAIN
You personally are going to fight the spider LordSlowPoke.

EDIT:As I typed that you were mutilated by the snake. You will be missed 

EDIT: Nevermind, that was Jimmy, Who I cannot ever hope to miss.

Two's company three's a crowd! A third Beastie has showed up to greet sparkgears! Some purple dinosaur that shoots webs.

The snake has killed 15 dwarves and it seems to be a bit upsetting to the craftsdwarves, LordSlowPoke has yet to lift a finger against this monstrocity, choosing instead to stand around a few floors above (presumably) picking his nose.

A few legendary wrestlers encountered our slithery friend and were made quick work of. They managed to break its horn but negelected to do any damage to the body. Does ANYONE have piercing weapons in this place?

The snake kills yet another legendary wrestler with the greatest of ease and the purple dinosaur rises from the depths into the bloodshed as demon spoon cowers in his palace. Seriously? They're all wrestlers and hammermen? Who armed this militia?

The spider, which hilariously lacks a buildingdestroyer tag, continues to but its head against a door near the adamantine deposit.

[Moontayle]

Sparkgear is the dwarven word for "incompetent". In other words, what did you expect?

[Robocorn]

Sparkgear is the dwarven word for "incompetent". In other words, what did you expect?

Completely unreasonable magma flooding devices.

Ehh, how'd they survive this in bronzemurder?

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

AUUGH THAT SUCK!

I close al the hatches and for some reason itkeeps the purple dinosaur at bay.
Our snake friend who shall now be called Lothena or "Lothie" for short has kicked Lordslowpoke's Competent Hammerdwarf ass back to Armok.

[Demonic Spoon]

Continue the good work robot unicorn.

[Robocorn]

Continue the good work robot unicorn.

You're next buddy, a pick is like a spear right? and you're the only one who's been mining.
Having Reduced our numbers by 50%, Lothie has been meandering about in the tunnels killing dorfs left and right, a newly drafted Demonic Spoon, who I've freed of his previous trollololol monicker, has decided to keep his hide by cowering in his quarters while his bretheren are slaughtered.

I try to close more hatches but griefstricken dorfs keep breaking them open again.

I find piles of ammoless crossbows that have been used as hammers and n sign of as much as a training sword, I wouldn't be surprised if they cut down trees by headbutting them going by their fear of sharp objects.

[Demonic Spoon]

Kill me and you shall suffer the most horrible fate imaginable, and I'll be really angry at you. Also I'll tell your mom.

[Robocorn]

A disaster has been averted today, however in the most Elvenly way possible. Lothie has been walled into the library for all of time, or until I am eligible for my pension, whichever comes first.

The only surviving noble is Demonic Spoon who has survived by crapping his pants in the corner while everyone else went out in a sea of blood and poison, he shall thus be dubbed, "Elfie, The beardless" and will still have to take stock of all our weapons and valuables.

In this new sparkgears we'll have to live off of the ten years worth of stockpiled food, and not open the door for the purple dinosaur below or the fairy spider.

Everything seemed to be going smoothly. I mean the dwarves are miserable and the FPS is low but everyone has gone back to work. Some farmer went berserk and ran into a cage trap where I will let him Die.

I'll name the only working dorf after myself

[LordSlowpoke]

I think, that due to my profession name, Robocorn created the first ever unfortunate accident of 2010.

[Robocorn]

I think, that due to my profession name, Robocorn created the first ever unfortunate accident of 2010.

Unfortunate? I killed off all the nobles but Demonic Spoon and captured a giant snake. That's a pretty good accident in my book.


GRAAAGHHH
A unicorn made of water! How the hell am I going to kill a water unicorn with three competent wrestlers. It's almost as if everything is out to kill me. His name is gareth an he's not comin' in here. Until my pension is due.

[Demonic Spoon]

In this new sparkgears we'll have to live off of the ten years worth of stockpiled food, and not open the door for the purple dinosaur below or the fairy spider.

...are you high by any chance? 

[Robocorn]

Purple dinosaur has begin wreaking havoc.
I'm really tired of this shit.

Purple dinosaur has begun fighting Elfie, his cowardice is no match for the beast's deadly web.

The dino continues to run about and shows a fondness for killing puppies.

[Demonic Spoon]

Noo! Elfie! 

[Robocorn]

The population has gone down to one digit. It's officially time for a break. And some masterwork engravings