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[Urist McDwarfFortress]

DO NOT LET THE CARAVAN FAIL!

[Cobbler89]

@monk12: Well, that works in theory, but then I have to come check on the name of the thread anyway... or else take email notifications and filter the ones with the old name, I guess -- come to think of it, that'd work just fine...

[Phantom of The Library]

@monk12: Well, that works in theory, but then I have to come check on the name of the thread anyway... or else take email notifications and filter the ones with the old name, I guess -- come to think of it, that'd work just fine...

The show new replies to your posts link on the top of the page will show you any topics that have new posts in them with the latest topic name.

[monk12]

@monk12: Well, that works in theory, but then I have to come check on the name of the thread anyway... or else take email notifications and filter the ones with the old name, I guess -- come to think of it, that'd work just fine...

The show new replies to your posts link on the top of the page will show you any topics that have new posts in them with the latest topic name.

Yep, so you can just ignore it until the title changes, then pick up where you left off.

[Lord Allagon]

If there was an update, you'd probably notice it as it would go from 170 pages to about 200, minimum.

[Aklyon]

How much is that on 50 posts/page.

[Lord Allagon]

70 pages, probably.

[Sanure]

I nearly died laughing when i began reading the story and 'THIS'
I'm posting to watch cause this is too good not to :3

[Cobbler89]

So, several days after reading through the whole thread, I figured it out...

DarkerDark is the cruelest kind of drug dealer. Gives you just enough to become hopelessly addicted, then holds out until you "appreciate" how much you owe them.

The elves perform a forumite-directed adventure showing how species doesn't matter what sort of person you are. The forumites live in a utopian thiiisiness with the elves, merging into the herd and supporting their community.

Once the elves have the forumites' trust, they lure them into smoking assorted artwork. Once they form a dependency, restrict supply and become extortionate, demanding more and more services from them for the artwork. There will doubtless be some more outspoken and troublesome of the forumites - they must be dealt with with discretion.

Even after the immediate labour needs of the tribe are fulfilled, manipulate the forumites to stop cutting down trees. The point of this is not to benefit from the forest, but rather to change the social structure of the forumites. The once-mighty creatures, cripples by their addiction for the assorted artwork, shall live in a broken society. Living conditions for the forumites must be reduced so that they are only just surviving: they will not be aware of the long-term destruction of their society.

With time, the place of forumites will be firmly established. Broken creatures, they will beg and toil for the elves just for the next sweet hit of the assorted artwork. Elves will be established as the superior species, and as long as the living conditions of the forumites is kept poor, they will be unable to uprise and rebel. Of course, in order to maintain this, the elves need to establish a strict society: even though elves will be equal to dwarves by the letter of the law, the practice will be different. By exaggerating the HFS menace as the root of all evils making scapegoats of troublesome forumites (claiming them to be agents for the HFS), a clear enemy can be established for the forumites to concern themselves with.

By offering large rewards of assorted artwork for any potential HFS agent forumites, any forumite that tries to disrupt proceedings (by teaching their children how to use picks, for example) will be quickly turned in. They will also be unable to identify with any other sympathisers, as they will not be able to tell them from the regular members of society.

A secret police will have to be established. The forumites should be constantly living in fear, unable to shoe a moment's deviance from acceptable thoughts. The actual logistics of monitoring every forumite will be a huge problem, so the forumite must be unable to know if they are being watched or not. By establishing a series of subfora around the forumite games where elves and elf-sympathetic forumites can be posted, the forumites will be able to be watched and heard at any time, but they will not know at any given point whether they are being monitored or not. They must therefore always act like they are being monitored, in case they are.

The knowledge and society of the elves must be heavily censored, too. The elves must establish a leader for the forumites to follow. The leader must himself be a forumite, called "ecofriendly dorf". Pictures of this leader will be placed everywhere. Since the leader is a dwarf/forumite, the other forumites will be encouraged to act like him, and with time they will want to act like him. All devlogs reaching the forumites must be completely fabricated: they must be told how they live in an age of prosperity thanks to the glory of their leader and his following of the desired way of life, despite the filthy HFS who shall be seen as all that is bad. This leader does not need to actually exist; the forumites need to think that he exists.

Over time, a stable society will be formed. forumites will be brainwashed into pure fear of picks and mining, and loving their leader and his agents, the elves. They shall see the leader and the elves as the source of all that is good: Their society, their defence against HFS and their assorted artwork. The mere concept of society as anything different will be outside what they can conceive: the language that they use shall have to be changed after a time to make even expressing an unfavourable thought impossible. They shall live in constant fear, though. They shall be terrified of magma and adamantine spires, and that they might be thought to be HFS agents.

Disappearances in such a society would be common, and thus nobody would notice when a forumite is taken away to be traded to the Call of Duty players. They will not be told of the Call of Duty players, though. Whenever a forumite is needed for trading, one shall be taken, a problematic one if preferable.

If you need me I'll be hiding my picks and disguising my magma pipeline access before the secret police stop by.

[Urist McCheeseMaker]

So, several days after reading through the whole thread, I figured it out...

DarkerDark is the cruelest kind of drug dealer. Gives you just enough to become hopelessly addicted, then holds out until you "appreciate" how much you owe them.

The elves perform a forumite-directed adventure showing how species doesn't matter what sort of person you are. The forumites live in a utopian thiiisiness with the elves, merging into the herd and supporting their community.

Once the elves have the forumites' trust, they lure them into smoking assorted artwork. Once they form a dependency, restrict supply and become extortionate, demanding more and more services from them for the artwork. There will doubtless be some more outspoken and troublesome of the forumites - they must be dealt with with discretion.

Even after the immediate labour needs of the tribe are fulfilled, manipulate the forumites to stop cutting down trees. The point of this is not to benefit from the forest, but rather to change the social structure of the forumites. The once-mighty creatures, cripples by their addiction for the assorted artwork, shall live in a broken society. Living conditions for the forumites must be reduced so that they are only just surviving: they will not be aware of the long-term destruction of their society.

With time, the place of forumites will be firmly established. Broken creatures, they will beg and toil for the elves just for the next sweet hit of the assorted artwork. Elves will be established as the superior species, and as long as the living conditions of the forumites is kept poor, they will be unable to uprise and rebel. Of course, in order to maintain this, the elves need to establish a strict society: even though elves will be equal to dwarves by the letter of the law, the practice will be different. By exaggerating the HFS menace as the root of all evils making scapegoats of troublesome forumites (claiming them to be agents for the HFS), a clear enemy can be established for the forumites to concern themselves with.

By offering large rewards of assorted artwork for any potential HFS agent forumites, any forumite that tries to disrupt proceedings (by teaching their children how to use picks, for example) will be quickly turned in. They will also be unable to identify with any other sympathisers, as they will not be able to tell them from the regular members of society.

A secret police will have to be established. The forumites should be constantly living in fear, unable to shoe a moment's deviance from acceptable thoughts. The actual logistics of monitoring every forumite will be a huge problem, so the forumite must be unable to know if they are being watched or not. By establishing a series of subfora around the forumite games where elves and elf-sympathetic forumites can be posted, the forumites will be able to be watched and heard at any time, but they will not know at any given point whether they are being monitored or not. They must therefore always act like they are being monitored, in case they are.

The knowledge and society of the elves must be heavily censored, too. The elves must establish a leader for the forumites to follow. The leader must himself be a forumite, called "ecofriendly dorf". Pictures of this leader will be placed everywhere. Since the leader is a dwarf/forumite, the other forumites will be encouraged to act like him, and with time they will want to act like him. All devlogs reaching the forumites must be completely fabricated: they must be told how they live in an age of prosperity thanks to the glory of their leader and his following of the desired way of life, despite the filthy HFS who shall be seen as all that is bad. This leader does not need to actually exist; the forumites need to think that he exists.

Over time, a stable society will be formed. forumites will be brainwashed into pure fear of picks and mining, and loving their leader and his agents, the elves. They shall see the leader and the elves as the source of all that is good: Their society, their defence against HFS and their assorted artwork. The mere concept of society as anything different will be outside what they can conceive: the language that they use shall have to be changed after a time to make even expressing an unfavourable thought impossible. They shall live in constant fear, though. They shall be terrified of magma and adamantine spires, and that they might be thought to be HFS agents.

Disappearances in such a society would be common, and thus nobody would notice when a forumite is taken away to be traded to the Call of Duty players. They will not be told of the Call of Duty players, though. Whenever a forumite is needed for trading, one shall be taken, a problematic one if preferable.

If you need me I'll be hiding my picks and disguising my magma pipeline access before the secret police stop by.

This is.. 1984 meets DarkerDark meets Toady meets !!HFS!!.

I am disgusted. DISGUSTED, I say.

[Monkeyfacedprickleback]

Bump

[Aklyon]

Now that was just pointless. Put some effort into your bumpage, otherwise its too obvious.

[Tiruin]

Why don't we wait patiently for the update.

And not fill the newboxes of many people in the meantime unless completely necessary.

Darkerdark knows about this thread. 

[Rose]

He's busy trying to get a job and stuff.

[ashton1993]

He's busy trying to get a job and stuff.

You know if Bay12's money came as a result of the forum role-playing games DD probably wouldn't have that hard a time getting work here, in fact it wouldn't surprise me if he could earn a fair amount by just dropping a donation link into his sig and posting art for a few different RP's here, I'd probably donate maybe £5 if he contributed regularly.