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[Creamcorn]

HOORAY! Update!

I'm changing my style right now. If I do the same analysis, it might get more than one person killed. Though, it was fun to see.

Common sense stuff
-First off, besides trading cloth and sunshine to dwarfs, elves are good for only one other thing. Dying, what else are they going to do with their infinite life span?
----With that first thought in mind, I say we either shoot the winy elf where he stands or dump him in the booze to feed him to the titan. Or we could do both!
-This is a titan. His needs are obviously larger than that of a normal elf, dwarf or human. He will need alot of booze to get drunk enough for us to trick into leading into a cage. Let's ze, on average the volume of the human stomach is a little over one gallon, so 1.10 gallons (4.16 liters). That said the average dwarf drinks at least three to two times a month in fortress mode (the same goes for elves and humans). Since this is basically that, I'd say that this Titan needs at least six units of booze (a frog's stomach is fairly similar to ours) to feel hydrated and on average a barrel of booze carried by all caravans carries twenty-five units of alcohol.
----Since these elves have been represented so far as a bunch of pot smoking happy go lucky suicidal insane idiots, I'll go on a limb and say that their stuff if pretty hard shit. One barrel of booze and a few decent herbs (and a drugged elf) should be enough for the titan to get decently hammered, one and a half for good measure.
-Course, if we leave the titan in a cage we lose a decent body guard.

My Diplomatic approach.

Spoiler:  Our inventory (click to show/hide)

20 mules
2 caged elephants
1 caged dead elephant
4 caged hoary marmots
60 barrels of strawberry wine
58 Barrels of Strawberry win
10 bundles of rope reed cloth
10 baskets of various berries
10 bins of wooden goods
10 barrels of assorted herbs (cooking herbs included)
10 of the highest quality rope reed blankets
10 spindles of rope reed rope
8 bundles of wood blessed by the druids, (2 had been converted into cages)
9 bags of provisions (dried fruits and seeds)

We agree with the titan to stop singing and give him two barrels of booze to spare our caravan. One to sip and one to keep before he goes back to sleep. We also say that if he guides us to the edge of the swamp we will give him an extra barrel of booze with the selling line that it will "Condense his entire million years of life into the single moment when he has a sip of this booze." We secretly roofie his drink on the way and don't forget to put as many delicious edibles into it on the way.

If we make it to the end, we should hand him his barrel of booze and state "that the drink will go flat if he doesn't drink every last drop of it in the next ten minutes." We slowly and discreetly back from him as he has the last few drinks. After he falls to the ground, we hurry the hell up to get him into a cage. One of the elephants should help, say that the titan will burn us all alive if he isn't in a cage to get the elephant to work. After that is all said and done, we make up a good story to explain how we dealt with the titan to Amala. With the story specifically mentioning that Amala did not get hit by the titan. I don't want to see her kill a perfectly good titan.

[etc][etc]

You are thinking waaaaaaay too much in long terms.

[Cheeetar]

[best plan ever]

Whoah.

[Taco Dan]

Ed boy had a good idea, but we should make the montage into a musical number with choreographed dances.

[dragnar]

Put herbs in the booze, to make it more sleepy!

Oh my god yes.

This will end horribly hillarious.

Thirde-seconded.

Yes. I change my vote to this. Though we should still make the nonchalant elf a badass at some point.

[Urist Imiknorris]

Put herbs in the booze, to make it more sleepy!

Oh my god yes.

This will end horribly hillarious.

Thirde-seconded.

Yes. I change my vote to this. Though we should still make the nonchalant elf a badass at some point.

This. Also gag the singer and get the titan too smashed to remember that he's not one of the frogmen.

[Acanthus117]

Let's call him Herb.

[Doomshifter]

I am all for getting the titan stoned.

[Julien Brightside]

I say we should at least give him 10 barrels of wine (or more if needed), and with promise to come by with more on later merchant trips.

Remember what happened when we tried to be scrooging with a dead elephant?

[ragnarok97071]

I vote for the "get him to guide us and then slip him a roofie" plan.

[Urist Imiknorris]

I vote for the "get him to guide us and then slip him a roofie" plan.

The current plan seems to be "slip him a roofie then get him to guide us then bung him in a cage."

[ragnarok97071]

but do we really want to trust some high Toad to guide us out of the forest? I have a feeling he'll just go back in his hole and make some weird sandwich.

[Armok]

This story is so aweosme in so many ways I don't know where to even begin. :')


I agree with getting the titan stoned. Also get the rebellious elf stoned, in the other meaning of the word. or just fried.
And get the elf that were right and hated it a medal.

[Aglathan]

We elves protect our kind! (or eat them if they are tasty)

Lets drug the monster up I say, lets kill him in his sleep

And lets all sing together around a big bonfire (Titan meat for everyone?)

"Thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis"

[Great Plan]

Or This

[QuakeIV]

Kickass plan.

Hell yes.

[DarkerDark]

The titan scoops up the singing elf and chomps into it as though he were some sort of musical snack-bar. The titan chews softly, testing his palette with the elf flesh. After a few moments he loudly proclaims, "God, this elf is sooo good. I mean, seriously, it's like a little taste of heaven... I could eat like, a dozen of these."



Elf Deaths: 9
Elves Remaining: 44

The Elves of Amanereli quickly unload their largest barrel of Strawberry wine and stuff it with a handful of assorted 'special' herbs as the Titan busies itself with it's snack.

Bowing low, an elf speaks to the Titan, "Oh, great and powerful lord of the Whispering Marsh, will you not guide us out of the swamp? We will be happy to pay you with extra tribute, as much of the finest wine you can drink!"

The Titan gives the elf a sour look and snaps out in a booming voice, "What the hell do I look like to you? A f#$@ing tourguide? No! I'm not guiding you out of the damn swamp! Now give me that booze!" It greedily grabs the barrel of wine and tears into it like a can of beer, "You show a little bit of mercy, and suddenly people think you're mister favours... Yeesh! Elves!"



It downs the barrel of wine as though it were a shot of water and smacks it's lips, "Now that was good stuff, not as good as the elf, but good all the same." It helps itself to another barrel, chugging it down like the last... Then another... And another... Like a frat boy at his first house party, the Titan keeps knocking back the booze.

Soon, it drinks itself into a stupor, but not before polishing off nine barrels of strawberry wine, two of those laced with herbs. It reaches over and plucks Amala's hat off the ground, slapping it onto it's head, "Look!" It proclaims loudly in a mocking tone, "I'm an elf! I make out with trees and taste delicious! Har har har!"




"But seriously, you guys taste f#@$ing delicious."





Congratulations, the Titan is pissed drunk. But it appears that the herbs aren't having much of an effect on it, or maybe they are, he's just not showing the symptoms? In any case, the Titan is not willing to show the Elves out of the swamp. Does this call for a change of plans, or will the Elves of Amanereli continue filling the Titan with Strawberry wine in a hope that it eventually passes out?

Inventory:

Spoiler (click to show/hide)

20 mules
2 caged elephants
1 caged dead elephant
4 caged hoary marmots
48 barrels of strawberry wine (2 destroyed, 10 consumed by the Titan)
10 bundles of rope reed cloth
10 baskets of various berries
10 bins of wooden goods
9 barrels of assorted herbs (cooking herbs included)
10 of the highest quality rope reed blankets
10 spindles of rope reed rope
8 bundles of wood blessed by the druids
9 bags of provisions (dried fruits and seeds)