Ah ha!
Oh goodness, I'm thinking about this stuff way too much. But I may have an idea that could solve the locomotion problem. All we have to do is roll up our sleeves and fudge a little biochemistry.
IDEA on high speed barges; Lets tie two barrels together, then tie the frothing elf on the backside and stick a stick into it's bran until it starts flailing violently enough to work like an engine and at high velocity propel a few elves standing on top of the barrels and carrying oars to the barge!
I find myself most concerned about the means of locomotion. Laceci-Ireci the elf may already be dead. Of course, his corpse might still be twitching . . .
Are any of the "assorted herbs" stimulants, for crying out loud?
About the best we have right now would be a twitching corpse, making brain surgery less than useful. When I mentioned stimulants, I was thinking of making some non-dead elves hyper. Then I realized something. We know:
Experimentation with local drugs = DarkerDark kills an elf, replete with horrifying spasmsOkay, so, what about drug
interactions? What would have happened if we had one more turn to experiment, and told DarkerDark we wanted to combine local drugs with the elves' own? I think it's fairly obvious:
Even stupider experimentation on local drug/"assorted herb" interactions = DarkerDark kills an elf EVEN WORSEThis
must be true, else there's no counter-incentive to player stupidity. The interaction
must be worse. Maybe, like with the DELECTABLE SEASONING, it would be
even more violent than we expect. Why don't we just take advantage of how these things work? This is SCIENCE!
So:
1. Make a small barge out of 2 barrels for high-speed deployment.
2. Strap Laceci-Ireci (
that's his name, alright?) to the back of the small barge before he stops twitching. (
This scene had a sort of "meanwhile" implication to it anyway.)
3. Load up some very light elves with makeshift oars, then get them on board.
4. Administer "assorted herbs" to the poor wretch. Like crazy. Maybe even sprinkle salt on him. (Hey, we were told
it's used on the dead.) Then STAND BACK.
5. Pray to the spirits of nature for forgiveness.
1a. Meanwhile, admit that plan "PropellerElf Alpha" has no chance in the underworld, and make another small barge out of 2 barrels. Then have the strongest elves row out quickly to Amala. It's not like she's trying to get away!--Rexfelum